Tony Yee has Passed.

It popped up on my Facebook Feed last night that Tony Yee had passed away. "Is this a joke? Is this another guy named Tony Yee?" I thought and Googled it to confirm that yes it was the Tony Yee that looked pretty young. I assumed heart attack and someone else said so but I don't have any real confirmation on that.

I went from disbelief to shock to self worry about my own mortality, and finally, taking an hour long walk around today I realized that if I let myself be, I was actually sad. I realized that even though I didn't know Tony well, I didn't hang out with him other than the Main Street stuff which could be considered "work" more than socializing... I realized that holy crap Tony Yee was my friend! He was my friend for like ten years! I mean if Chinatown were one big party or school or campus he was the one of the guys directing the party. Maybe he's not one of your inner circle but it's like if a classmate in school died, it would be devastating. 

I felt around my emotions. It was weird because at first I felt no sadness. At first I felt like, "huh he died young. I might die young."  It wasn't until my little walk that I let emotions peel back and I thought, "Why didn't I hang out more with Tony. Or talk more with him. Or become 'closer' to him." If you think about it, you should become as close to the good in everyone you know. As close as possible, because you life isn't permanent.  

When did I first meet Tony?

Crime watch. 

Chinatown was decked out in all these XXX signs and red neon lights for the filming of Departed, most of which got cut. Tony was hair slicked back trying to sell getting the movie made here, fast talking leather jacket. 

"I'm Tony, the guy in Chinese guy that thinks he's Italian." is how he introduced himself. 

I nodded and shook hands stiffly the up ticking time bomb of Three kingdoms era ideology that I was. It's how I was dealing with my mother's death. 

Tony called meetings for Main Street with all the Lion Dance teams, which I attended and found long and tedious. However it was at these meeting that I met Grace. So in a way, my family is a product of Tony Yee's meeting idea. Thanks Tony. Without you, Noah and Jonah would not be on this earth. 

I worked with Tony because he worked with everyone on stage at the festivals. 

I worked through these feelings walking around the pond and through the woods and then doing Mein Lay jum at the park and realize that I am sad that Tony is gone and that's okay. I did more internal practice today than normal mainly because I felt like it helped me through these feelings. I breathed them in and let them flow out of my body along with the feelings for my family and people closer to me that have gone. 

What kept flashing through my mind was the last time I had seen him at the Lantern Festival, the Sunday, the day before he died. 

"Hey Guys!" he smiled walking over. That  and the Tons of Facebook posts and obituaries about how people (probably closer to him than I) will miss him wandered through my thoughts as I turned to cloud hands and crouched into snake turning slow tai chi like palm strikes. 

I will miss him too.

 And that's okay.