Kung Fu and Love

Kung Fu and Love
A great gift for Valentine's day or Chinese New Year

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Chinese New Year's Eve

Chinese New Year kind if crept on me. I did a few events for it already. But the whole cleabibg the house and decorations thing was haphazard. I did what I could. I have valentines candy in a Chinese New Year candy dish. At least they are red colored. Hong baos shoukdnt be hard. And u did clean up a little. The problem is the house still has a lot of stuff and now us not the time to tackle it.

Tomorrow is no school. But I have to go to work. A neighbor offered to watch the kids, but what if my kids misbehave? Well I guess that's better than work right?

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Writing a novel on your phone and other stuff

I tried writing a novel on my phone, and realized this was over zealous. I wrote one characters introduction twice. How can I write without seeing the words ftom my orevious post? I almost want to gi back to hand writing, though I know that will take even longer when editing.

And them I found several nivela I had written in their rough draft form. I read part of them to Noah and so so many mistakes. Perhaps tomorrow I will begin combing through these books while reading them aloud to him.

Recently my schedule does not involve much reading or writing. I cook clean and teach Kung Fu and practice a littke while watching the Condor Heroes... the 1983 version.

Teaching my kids is going to give me a stroke. I must make sure to make them do Kung Fu first... before anything else. If I let them play outside first they are all tired...if its homework first, the work just never gets done.

Also, now that they know a fighting form and a hand form its correction time.... which is si much harder than just showing moves. To teach a clear technique... maybe its just not worth it. Its worth it to show them but maybe not to demmand that level if performance.

I tried to show them something "easy" and of course Noah can just do it anyway, but Jonah sort of can, but then quickly loses patience.

I guess the key is just a little everyday... maybe even a little several times a day. 10 min. In the morning. 10 min after school, 10 min  befire dinner. But then its like pulling teeth and 10 min. Turns into 1 hour...

We'll see.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Chapter Three Haiku cookies

The girk spoke softly in the flickering light, from which fire or candle was the source was unclear. Old Xiong wanted to turn on the lights but the girl, who nire and more seemed to give off an aura not onky of mystery, but of something oerhaps nit quite right, had eyes on him. The stare seeme ti freeze him where he was. But the okd man laughed thinking "I am an ild man and this pretty young woman is staring at me. I am enjoying the experience. That is the onky reason why I am not getting up to turn on the light." So he spoke aloud, "Kara turn on the light." But Kara was enchanted to. And so had the sinking feeling one gets when your car  has lost control and is swerving into oncoming traffic.

He cleared his throat and looked at Kara.

"So....." said Kara trying ti save old Xiong face by speakibg first whike he played nysterious Sifu..  though perhaos this play acting woukd be useless against a womab whi comes to your hoyse apoearing out if the shadows at midnight. "What's your name?"

"I am the rightful warrior queen of the kingdom in the reflection of the moon on the lake."

"Errr... so we shoukd call you...." Old Xiong began..

Her eyes flashed copper...."Serena"

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Chapter two: a girl selling cookies

One day a young sprite of a girl walked up through these tunnels andbrang the door. A boy and a girl guarding the door called from within as they trained wooden swords and cross bows on the visitor.

"Gwai sing dai ming!" What is your surname and what is your name!

"Serena, is what I am called." The girl answered without missing a beat. She coukd have been an old 13... or a young 30. She was hard to place. She looked young, but she had an air of immortal gravity about her. "I have no surname. I lost it."

The boy and the girl guards imagined she lost it in the tunnels or perhaps left it on the bus.

"Do you want us to help you find it?"

"In a way, yes." Said Serena. "I'm looking for the owner of the Phoenix sword. I have brought these cookies as a gift."

They boy and girl had no idea what that was, but they became very excited when they heard Serena talk about it. "Well this is the Dragon Phoenix school of healing arts.  So I think you have come to yhe right place. But we can't let you in because you are a stranger and you might be an adult. Are you an adult? Anyway, even if you aren't an adult you are a big kid and we don't know you so we have to get a grown up. Wait here....Old Xiong!!!! OLD XIONG!!!! There is a lady at the door, ir maybe a kid, but a big kid. She could be 13
and look old, or she could be 30. She has cookies. Can we have them?"

Old Xiong came running quickly on sock covered tiptoe.

They never got visitors. The houses were quite far away from each other and nobody ever went up to someone's door unnannounced. They would have sent a message ahead by some means or another.

Old Xiong looked at the girl woman. It was true, she could of been 13 or 30... but she had the severity of someone who was 300.

"How can I help you?"

The woman simply stepped into the house with such grace that Old Xiong could not bar her way.

" I brought these Haiku Crescent cookies... each cookie has a poem inside."

Old Xiong grabbed them. He was lax, and none of the 18 had allergies...in fact despite the possibility if it being somewhat disvriminatory he did not accomodate children with serious allergies.

But who knew what was in these things. The girl had them in a bag..." ok chikdren can take one home each when their parents pick them up."

"One each? There are only three here....whats wrong with you? Why are you so nervous?"

"I don't think parents woukd appreciate a stranger around their children."

"No problem, I'll come back tonight."

"Some of the older children sleep over."

"I will visit you in you dreams."

There was nothing flirtatious or joking about her manner. It was all business, which made Old Xiong think that hisnlast guess in age was the closest and that he was in the presence if an immortal, or perhaps a demon. She did not turn to leave, but instead walked further i to the house. Old Xiong followed her down the hall and lost her.

The 18 thought it was hillarious and played a game where they tried to find her.

Old Xiong called all the parents and suggested that they pick up their children. He believed there was a snake demon in the house.

It was Friday anyway and most parents picked up their kids, and some did not. They thought the snake demon woman sounded fantastic and asked if they coukd dress up as Snake demons as well.

Old Xiong's wife thoughtbhe was crazy anyway, and his sons thought that maybe he was on some scheme or something.

In any case. Old Xiong burned incense to Kwan Gung and readied himself to do batyle.wity evil spirits. He asked Kara to take out the oak sword and parctice Pik Che geem faht and the Hail Mary sword form. Old Xiong readied his one sword and suddenly the shadows flickered in the firelight and the girl.woman appeared.

"There are three of us now....take out the Haiky Cookies."

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Chapter one: The Dragon Phoenix School of Magic and Healing Arts.

It was an ordinary enough looking house on the top of the hill. Unlike other houses in the area it had a winding walkibg path out front. A tunnelled maze with grape vines providing a roof and apple trees tied and carefully  trained together on wire for a wall. It was alk strangely meticulous as nibidy had ever been seen to actually trim ir tend to this feat of garden mastery.

There was a place for cars to pull up and drop off children who would scurry through the magical tunnels up to the doorway into the house. You see inside the house was an afterschool program with 18 students. Never more than 18 and never less.

It wasnt always 9 boys and 9 girls, and they were usually of different ages, colors sizes and shapes.

Why were they there?

Inside the house was the Dragon Phoenix School of Magic and Healing Arts run by this Old Xiong, a wiry old man who ran around jumping up and down outside with the kids brandishing all manner of cardboard weaponry.

It had started with his two sons... and when they had grown too old for that nonsense he had opened this afterschool of sorts. They 18 children ran up and down the hill, dressed as pirates. The old man taught them moves and breathing techniques which the children mostly ignored. They did their homework and were fed. They played videogames and learned to play the lion drum and do the dragon dance. They played chess and go and jerng kei. They did research on the in ternet and coded. In the mornings they went to the local Public school, which was annoyed and somewhat suspicious of 18 children in one household. You see, some of these 18 were rich kids whose parents  had hired the crazy old man as a sort of mentor. Some of these parents had been taught by the old man themselves. Some of the students were poor and the parents could have cared less about the old man's teachings. They wanted their kids in the towns excellent school system.

The old man's wife was the one who made the money. And though some say she was older,  she had somehow preserved her youth. Some say with the old man's magic. Some say with magic of her own.

And others say there had been inheritance, or that in youth the old man had made a fortune illegally, or had struck it rich discovering Jade in Xinjiang. Or that his healing techniques were world renowned and peoole called for Psychic readings from all over the world... and that was how he made his real money.

In any case, the 18 students thing, seemed to be more about fun and less about an advertised school. It was probably unlicensed. But it was orderly and quiet enough, even with drum playing, which took place in the basement in a room filled with books on each wall, absorbing the sound.

In other words the neighbors did not complain... if they even really knew that there was an afterschool. Parents did not pick up the kids every day. It was actually somewhat sporadic.

And students usually stayed for a year or two. It was usually a transition period in their life. They had gotten too difficult for their parents. Or their parents bhad fallen on hard times and left their kids there until they could get their lives together. And almost always, they came out of it within 2-5 years, renewed and ready to take on the world. Not just parents, but the children or teens.

The old man, didn't try to keep them. He encouraged them to leave, to go out and conquer or start business, or what have you.

They didn't call him teacher or master. They just called him Old Xiong.

One day peoole started talking about this lake that was in a park nearby the house. You see, the neigbors were saying there were strange things going on near it. People are more superstitious than you would think. They were saying the lake was haunted or possessed by snake demons...that sort of thing.

"You would think Old Xiong would be all over that. Isn't that what he does? Exorcisms and all?" Neighbors joked.

The three sisters in their 90's who lived together across the street asked him about it point blank.

"Actually what I do is run up and down hills with children while carrying sticks, make them play Chinese chess with boards made of wood and stones and bottle caps, and watch tv with snacks... and meals too I guess. But yeah sure on the weekend we'll take a trip down to the lake."

Word got around and people watched the house waiting for something to happen. Old Xiong now knew that people were watching, so he made a big show of it when he finally di go down to the lake with the 18. They brought out lions and dragons and drums and he dressed up as a firebird, like the western phoenix with twin flaming swordss for wings. These he doused quickly in the lake before the fire department ciukd see, and inisted they had been an illusion. Nothing but cardboard with light orange colored cloth and led lights.

Then he brought out the Kwai fa boh deen
Scrolls and started chanting in Hokien (or so he claimed) the ancient eunuchs text for pik che geem faht, the sword form which could chase away evil.

He had a female student perform it with a sword made of reinforced paper mache... which also went up in flames and into the lake.

The water actually caught fire briefly and lo and behold, some bastards were dumping there that shouldn't have been. So that was the scientific explanation for  the lake being haunted!

Yeah some people still weren't so sure, but Old Xiong had still put on a show. Some people said he was fake as faries with his magic and healing arts.

But actually Old Xiong had never claimed otherwise. When asked where he learned his Martial Arts he would say, "Movies and Youtube."

He was just having fun with it. And actually that often annoyed people. But there was no question, when you saw him perform even half of a move that he knew what he was doing. In fact that he was a mastet from a long line of masters.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

The Hong Kong Wanderer

(To the tune of Brennan on the Moor)

Tis of a HK rich boy this story I will tell.
He forsook all if his riches, when in love he fell.
His Ai ren, had no money, so to a lo wah kieu she wed.
His parents bade him marry rich, he sailed away instead.


Sing-jai on the sea, Sing-jai on the sea.
Brave, perhaps foolhardy was young Sing-jai on the sea.

Him being pampered as a youth, the sailing life was tough.
He couldn't boil water, he wasn't up to snuff.
He found some hingdais anyway and travelled the world around.

And when they all jumped ship it was in Boston's Chinatown.


From the kitchen on the boat he worked the kitchen on the land.
And  fighting chew and screwers when things got out of hand.
And after that was TVB  and gambling through the night.
Unless the chai los robbed the den to steal and show their might.


One time po jai, a friend of his, while being carted away,
Was seen by his white wife, who in anger she did say,
What if your son were to see you now all in this shameful plight.