Strawberry Surprise

Visiting my relatives was one of the few times I felt I could relax. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my cousin and my aunt actually work in a preschool. So Taking care of my children was not a problem for them. Plus the house really was more or less child proof. Basically I haven't drank alcohol since Jonah was born. But I also usually get drunk around Christmas. And I hadn't visited for Christmas.. again since Jonah was born. So my cousin opened a bottle of Port. Which happened to taste very nice, which meant I didn't really taste how much alcohol I was drinking. Plus after drinking some, well I guess your decision making goes downhill from there so where as if you were sober you would know you had enough, when you are less sober, you are less likely to know that you have had enough. I am also a lightweight. But there was a distinct moment when the drinking and merriment which included discussions about the two things you aren't supposed to talk about (but which I love talking about) religion and politics went from great to well disaster.

"So I want to make a drink for you. It's called a Strawberry surprise." said my cousin.

I shrugged. I think we had already written strange messages on each others arms by this point.

In any case I was handed a drink and when I drank it I noticed a strong peppery taste as well as a peppery burning on my lips.

"Do you like it?"

I shrugged again. It wasn't port. And then I noticed that people wer coughing and starting to run out of the room and yelling at my cousin for being an idiot. Apparently a "strawberry surprise" involves pepper spray. And everyone sober started clearing out, and Grace was telling me that Jonah was trying to cough and throw up. Luckily even though it was near the winter solstice, it was 70 degrees outside so that's where we all went. I sobered up briefly to watch my children but once we were outside my other cousin (she is more responsible than her brother) was watching the kids again, and really nothing was wrong as long as everyone was away from the cloud of pepper spray. I learned that being drunk dulls the effect if Pepper Spray severely because anyone drinking did not really feel it's effects. That's good to know if you happen to carry Pepper Spray as a self defense device. (I do not)
 The situation calmed down so I felt I could enjoy my buzz again and started doing Kung Fu. It was nice, but then I felt dehydrated and then sick. Then it was time to put the kids to bed and later  I found at that Pepper Spray also has a dye in it which is probably not for ingestion.


"Did you taste any Strawberry?" my cousin asked me at some point.

"No just the peppery taste."

"That's the surprise."

"What is."

"There is no strawberry. That's why it's called a Strawberry surprise."

"Ahhhh."
Well, I'm not doing that again.