A trip to the dentist

So I'm finally deciding to see a dentist regularly and I guess I have a lot of problems. Probably because I didn't see a dentist regularly since I was a kid. I remember in Highschool I think I went to Boston Medical Center with my mom and they told me I would have to remove my wisdom teeth or else this this and this would happen. They quoted a price and my mother was like, "Okay somehow we'll find the money." And I was like, Please you don't even have that money so just leave it. You don't even know if what they say will happen.." and really what I thought is, "you don't even know if I'll live that long."
Well all the cavity type of stuff did happen and here I am and I will have to remove those teeth and other teeth. Some of the Dentists seem horrified that for one of my teeth, instead of having a root canal, I asked if they could just pull it. Each dentist that came over would at first be horrified but then, upon seeing that I had already had the tooth under it pulled 10 years ago and also seeing technically it isn't doing anything they see that it makes sense. But I suppose most people get really freaked out about losing a tooth, and seeing the Dentists sort of freak out made me feel like maybe I should freak out.
I was trying to analyze why I hadn't freaked out about pulling the first tooth. It wasn't just money. Because Technically, I did have the money and the amount of money I could have spent on my own teeth was far less than I lent to other people who ended up just being gambling addicts. I.e. I spent way more money to help other people, who didn't deserve it or even need it, than I spent to save my own teeth?
Why?
Well I was never in a gang, and I would never say that I was a part of the "streets" as people like to say. I just lived and grew up in a certain neighborhood and then was a round certain types of people. all the while watching PBS, reading and playing violin. But in a way, looking back throughout my life, I always had a fatalistic mentality. Maybe it was those very books I had read, maybe it was all the funerals I attended as a child, maybe it was just hearing about people I didn't necessarily know that well, die etc. etc. or maybe it was just focusing on all that negative stuff instead of focusing on what I could potentially achieve. But my teeth didn't matter to me, because in a way, my life didn't matter as much to me as you might think it should have.
Anyway, now my life does matter to me, mainly because I have children. And I guess my health really matters to me too. That one tooth, I can do without, but I have a few other cavities and I will need another root canal on top of that, and I am definitely willing to shell out for that even though I don't have a job. Grace said I should just pull out all my teeth and get fake ones.

Anyway, Noah has my teeth and will have my same problems. So I am damn sure that we will take care of his wisdom teeth  in College or something the way Grace had hers done. So that the this this and this is less likely to happen. Jonah but his teeth are not my own. My teeth, Noah's and my mother have a shape that make them hard to clean and also huge canines.

Anyway, that was my little trip to the dentist. Have to go back next week and then another appointment before things even start to get done.