Cheung Nian Chau yut

Happy New Year! Sun Tain geen Hong, Gong hei faht choi, sai gai wo ping, everything goo dthat there is to say in four syllables.
Like I said before my experience of growing up of Chinese New Year in the home was limited. My mother would give me red envelopes and when some family friends came over to visit and told us we should set up a Chinese New Year latar to my father we did, quickly, with some incense, oranges and a picture.
Apparently, while talking to my Si Hing you are supposed to have a meaty feast while bowing to the gods and ancestors the "night before" with Chicken and fau yuk and all that. That ended up not happening at Moh Goon but we did the little panda version. Then at 11pm which is technically the next day for Chinese who used to go by "see sun"s instead of hours I guess, they eat a vegetarian meal and bow to the ancestors and gods again. Basically the old way is to try and be vegetarian for the new year's season, or ten days of it. The modern compromise is to eat a vegetarian meal right after you just ate a huge meal and apparently most people don't really follow a lot of this. Well none of that stuff was in the books I read and even though I new some of it, well I just didn't gt it together this year.

What I did do, is set up an altar to my mother (and invisible gods, God my dad and whoever else wanted to share three incense sticks. That's right not even 9.. because I don't want it to get too smoky in the house.) in an American made up version of what we used to do at my house as a kid. I had no picture so I just used this wooden box drum my mom had made for me to represent her. Three oranges. Though where as the oranges are supposed to be an offering, on my altar to an invisible God it was almost like the oranges had their own meaning. We had the traditional Chinese meal of oatmeal and fruit topped with sugary cereal for breakfast. (I know oatmeal is not a Traditional dish.)
The red envelopes and some gut I set out and I made the kids do a Lion Dance to get it, to make our religion interactive and tactile. It was quit the disaster because Jonah didn't want to get under the tail and I ended up pulling out the big head and finishing it for them while Noah played drums. So I broke every rule there was. But at least we did something as a family, well as most of the family since Grace is in Rhode Island for work.
Nest year I'll try to do stuff closer to the actual traditions. In fact in talking to my Si Hing today I was thinking there should be a real handbook for Chinese New Year stuff. Like that Pagan Christmas book I read. We have some kids books that cover all the Chinese Holidays and superstitions and one that is just random facts. But those are hard to use and how can you have all the holidays in one book? They should make like 12 books for each Holiday. (There is at least one Holiday a month so I just threw 12 out there. They tend to be on the full moon. Except Chinese New Year which sort of has several Holidays in one 1-15 right?)

Well now to make dinner, which will just be what we have in the house. I'll do better next year. But even for this year, we will do a lot of lion dances and all that, so they will have their Chinese New Year memories just like I had.

Chinese New Year's coming

Noah was very excited about today being show and tell because tomorrow is Chinese New year and his school is closed. Grace is away until tomorrow night, and I'm wondering what  to do for Chinese New Year. Growing up, my mom gave me lucky money for Chinese New Year, and we would walk into Chinatown (because technically we didn't live in it, just near it) and watch the lion dance get some baos, but we didn't do all the food and stuff. In fact te director of little Panda had asked me if I had any plans for the New Year and I told her all of this. That mostly my experience of Chinese New Year is stuff done outside the home. When I was with my Sifu he would make big meals this dish representing this and that and an altar to the gods first. Heck he did that for every holiday and there is actually a Chinese Holiday once a month pretty much. But I'm not making that meal. First of all I don't know how. Secondly, we wouldn't be able to eat it all. It's too much. Later today we will go to two New Year's meals, one at Little Panda and one at the Kung Fu school. But I don't really want that to be it. We wrote our little Chinese New Year's sayings. Well I did, while they cut up paper. And yesterday we sort of made little nian monsters, not that that is really a new year's tradition. But Noah actually made one himself and that is what he brought in to show and tell today.
They will get their red envelopes of course. And we will do some of the parade stuff.
But I think there is a lack of magic in the household for this holiday.
Now I have some children's books and they mention the Kitchen God and the burning of paper and bribing of the Kitchen God as he goes to the Jade Emperor. But for me, there is no Jade Emperor. I bow to Guan Gung, as a man and that's pretty much the only Chinese deity I ever believed in. Does that make sense, to devote one self to one of the gods but not believe in the Pantheon? There was Guan Yin to, but like I said, she is just the goddess in general for me. Call her Mary, call her Guan Yin. Same thing.
The coolest thing about New Year's more so than the Buddha stories about choosing the animals and all that, is the Nian story, which is the Lion Dance story. And tell the story all you want as if the Nian and the Lion Head are two different monsters species, or two different monsters of the same species.... but whatever, your lion head can be either one. I feel like I'm going to have to start making our own Chinese New Year's traditions that work for me. Grace bought a Pomelo and I opened it and hung the peel over the door. Should have done that earlier but whatever. Traditionally (according to some book) the wife is supposed to bathe in pomelo leaf water. But I remember doing a cleansing ritual at the school where we all washed our hands in water with pomelo rinds. We'll be doing that tonight. I guess I should set up an altar too. We don't have one. We'll just set up a New Year altar. I guess we'll bow to the ancestors and whatever gods/saints. Maybe say a prayer. Maybe not. But we'll do the cleansing ritual and read the books and do some lion dance.
 I'm not burning anything but incense in the house though. We have a fire place, but now isn't the time to play with fire. Maybe when their older and we actually have the fireplace being used more regularly.

Osamu Tesuka

Yesterday Noah had to go to a check up at 1:40 which meant there was no point in me heading home with Jonah. So we hung out at the Copley Library. I grabbed a manga to keep me occupied. I read a few books to Jonah too, actually mainly I read the same Caillou book over and over because that's what he wanted. He wandered, colored , played with the puzzles and talked to the Librarians. Then it was time to go and I actually had to take the manga I was reading out to finish. I had hoped to just finish it there.

I was first introduced to Osamu Tezuka through his series about the Buddha. Then I read his Phoenix saga too. Both of these works were very Buddhist with some Christian metaphors (like Noah's ark). The book I picked up looked like a Catholic themed crime thriller. Now it was good, but it was not what I expected. Even the description on the back called it the "anti-Osamu Tezuka" written by his own hand.

There is a priest as a main character and various quotes from the Bible throughout but basically there isn't a main character in the novel that is good. I say that because anyone that is reasonably good is actually not a main character at all. Even though the whole thing takes place in Japan and seems to have been from the 70's alot of stuff really fits in with my generation growing up in the Boston area. It's very anti-American or "Nation x" and also touches on the pedophile priest scandal even though I'm not sure when it was written if victims had started coming forward yet. Did that stuff happen in Japan too? Was there any truth to the plot of the novel? I'm not sure but basically the whole novel is a nightmarish dystopia, except for it is so familiar to our world right now. But still I had to finish it.

Now his other novels do have violence, but overall you get a nice warm feeling of the Universe making things work out for the better and you feel spiritually uplifted. This novel doesn't do that at all. It doesn't even seem to have a Title except E and then a backwards E. Well, it distracted me from boredom yesterday as well as made me question any worldview I ever had about bad vs. good. I definitely want to read something light now.

Assigned reading

Grace was in some sort of Facebook internet trance the other day when she asks me the question, "When did your mom die?"

"What? Why?
I don't know 2002 no, 2003"


"Oh nothing never mind."


"Wait, no I guess 2004 right?"


To tell the truth I don't remember the exact date, not even the exact year. Anyway, she found some Catholic book from a local writer that dedicated it to Dolly Peters, and she just thought it was weird.

Anyway,  I find it difficult to belief that Grace suddenly just had the urge to look up Catholic literature on the internet. In fact my first reaction was, "I think you misunderstand why I'm going back to the Catholic Church. I don't want to be like that Catholic. It's just that I was baptized and my ancestors were Catholic and I can stomach the religion now because there are a lot of Pagan elements to it, and I think the Sacraments will be good rites of passage. Why are you looking up books on how to be Catholic?"

Then as I went about cleaning some memories did surface.

 The truth is there was this guy who had been visiting my mother and who I think who stopped by the house after she died. I didn't invite him in, as he caught me downstairs and I was on auto pilot. Not that this has been left to stew for a few days I think he did mention something about a book and dedication. He also had some other books that he passed to me that my mom said I would reaa. Something about the Chinese originally being Monotheists because Tian (heaven) use to be written with a head on it and therefore it was really god. I remember brishing them off. I kind of brushed him off. Not exactly like that but I just didn't know exactly how I should talk with him. What does one say? I appreciated his visit and appreciated that he was visiting my mom often. In a way, I felt that he knew her in a way that I didn't because in the last weeks, days of her life, I felt that we didn't really know each other at all. He mentioned that he loved her, and I didn't feel awkward about that statement though I could imagine that it might be awkward. She was so sick at that point and the vibe I got from him was that priestly sort of Jesus loving type of thing. But that kind of love i still something I just nod my head at, even though I am planning on going back to the Catholic Church. A type of love I might meditate on, but not one that I express openly, talk about, or express. In a lot of ways characters like Odin still ring more true to me then characters like Jesus. And Yi hei type of love of Kwan Gung I understand and truth be told, I think historic Jesus was talking more about that kind of love. But Christ and Buddha and Thich Nhaht Hanh bring out this other love often. I'm not saying it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe mildly.
I'm just saying I wasn't overly awkward when this man brought it up. But I also didn't know what else to do but nod to acknowledge him and then I think I went somewhere I had to go. It was a brief meeting. I can't exactly remember his face. In fact I later attributed that meeting to some other white guy who also knew my mom but now I can't be sure and when I Googled the author Grace seemed to conjure on the internet it confused things more to see that this author and the other guy looked similar but were obviously a different person.

One would think that being contacted by the other side is an emotional thing. My main emotion tends to be aggravation and annoyance. I always watch these people on TV talking to their loved ones who have passed and real or fake they always tear up and all that.
When I had dreams where my mother appeared, in my dream I tended to ignore her. Or when I didn't, she tended to send me to get paperwork of some sort and the whole thing was more of a hassle. And even now, I think it is true that she is contacting me somehow through Grace and giving assigned reading. Now in life when she tried to get me to read stuff I tended to ignore her. Take those religious books that guy had for instance. For some reason it's more difficult to ignore someone who is dead. And the truth is, most of the stuff that she had asked me to read I eventually did read, although again, it was after she had died that I ended up reading it.

So now I have put a hold on a book by Paul Wilkes, specifically the one he dedicated to Dolly Peters, who may or may not be my mother (I think it is) and have to see what this is about.

Twos and Fours

Jonah requested that we go sledding today. It was raining, but not that much, so we went down the hill once and then I pulled him across the snow to visit the pond. I'm sure Jonah wanted to throw rocks into the water, but there was snow and ice there instead. Jonah is definitely 2. As in, he is starting to rebel or say he doesn't want something or does want something, and switch it, seemingly simply  to make my life difficult. He will want to run and then not want to walk and collapse on the ground. It is starting to wear on my patience. But he is still loving and wants to do hugs and kisses.
Meanwhile Noah is asking a lot of question, especially about the movie we just saw, Brave. "Why did the mommy turn into a bear?" Why did Merida give her the cake? Why did the cake turn her into a bear?"

I have to ask does he mean why is the plot like that or if he is asking if it is scientifically possible for a cake to turn you into a bear. I had to explain that magic is in the story and it is not scientifically possible for a cake to turn you into a bear, but a cake could be poisoned or spoiled and make you sick or kill you, but a better way to tell the story is to make it turn the mother into a bear. Of course usually during my explanation Noah will interrupt loudly with "WHY! WHy? Why did the babies turn into bears too?"
 And of course the questions will come over and over and over. My little trick of asking "What do you think?" doesn't work because I guess Noah just wants to only know what I think, or the "right answer" but hearing the answer is not good enough so he asks the question again and again and again.

I like these conversations and I like playing with Jonah and bringing him places, But getting there safely and getting back home safely is becoming increasingly more difficult and stressful.

Family Movies

So our family watched a couple of movies this weekend. Yesterday we watched Lee Daniel's "The Butler" For some reason I cried during the Freedom ride parts. I'm not exactly sure why. For the most part I liked the movie, and this might seem weird but the end just sort of seemed too happy. I mean Yeah, of course Obama gets elected and that part really is true but at that point it just seemed too, "Well isn't that nice." I'm sure some black people agree with me because as a white person (white enough.. you know what I mean, I'm not saying I'm not Chinese. I'm just saying I am white.), that is exactly the type of ending that I am looking for. Heck as a white person the movie could have just ended with Reagan saying something nice to him and the scene where the butler sits at the dinner, edit out awkward feelings and there is the version of the movie that would have been made in the 80's. Anyway, some of the scenes were definitely not for children, but sometimes Jonah left Noah's side at the PBS kids on the computer area we set up, and well, he saw some of those scenes. But once I got into the movie I really wanted to finish it. Towards the end it was really hard to watch because the kids started throwing things and asking questions really loud over the movie requiring us to put on captions. Noah only threw foam blocks, but Jonah threw heavy and hard things too. That's life I guess.
This morning we did more sledding, on top of the Kung Fu sledding we did yesterday. People keep complaining that it is cold. But the truth is, all you have to do is bundle up and you are fine. I mean we were out there for at least two hours, and my kids are 2 and four. Now those serious sub zero temperatures in the mid-west, that's another matter. But as long as you really put on layers and real snow and winter gear, it's fine. I was hot. We flew a kite, lost it in a tree, when Noah had to pee and I had to hold the kite by stepping on it, and after that bit of adventure we did a ton of sledding. Thank goodness it's too cold for everyone else, because that means my kids can safely sled and then take their sweet not paying attention time to get back up the hill.

After that it was lunch and off to the Library to watch Brave on the big screen. We have this movie, but watching it in a theater is just so much better. We missed a good portion of it. I was upset about that because the movie has turned me into a Julie Fowlis fan and I wanted to experience that song and sequence. but oh well. It was great to be able to almost feel the rain falling and chase the will o the wisps through a dark and scary forest. I teared up at that scene where Merida is crying and saying sorry for the trouble she has brought on her own family, even though I knew it was going to turn out okay. I do understand why I teared up for that and I wondered if mother's in the audience were doing the same. It was nice to hear people laughing at the jokes. There were quite a few adults at that movie by themselves in fact. It's a good movie. Anyway. We came back and wrote come New Year couplets. Now it's dinner time.

Piece of Cake

Yesterday after dinner, the children got a little bit of cake for reward. And I got a lot of cake, which I think has wreaked havoc on my digestive system, but that's another story.
At one point there was just one small piece of cake left and I gave it to Noah because a) Jonah had already had cake because he is not a picky eater and b) because Noah had finally finished his dinner.
Noah was watching PBS kids on the no Marty Walsh Channel and eating a bit of his cake when Jonah headed towards it. In general, Noah usually takes things from Jonah because often times Noah will finish his cakes or baos before Jonah and then demand that Jonah share what is left. Also, Noah is just bigger. The opposite, where Jonah takes something from Noah is more rare, because of size, quickness and also in general Jonah will even share with Noah or take the smaller piece just from Noah flipping out, because Jonah will take pity on him. Jonah gets this weakness from me and I will have to warn him about this later in life. Cookies and cakes are fine. large amounts of money, favors, and other sorts of commitments are not. It is difficult for our type pf personalities to put ourselves first......... except when it comes to cake.

Jonah was not moving particularly fast and Noah did see him in his peripheral vision, it's just that he didn't want to pull his eyes away from the tv, and then Jonah had the cake in his hand. With complete focus on his goal he stuffed it into his mouth and ran into the kitchen simultaneously while laughing and covering his mouth with his hands. Noah followed in protest and anger. Jonah did not try at all to defend himself, focusing instead on keeping his hands over his mouth lest Noah reach in and rid him of his cake.

Inevitably, in the struggle, which had many giggles followed by moments of anger from Noah, followed by more giggles from Noah as well, left many large sized crumbs on the floor. I witnessed in a mixture of horror, curiosity and amusement as Noah lay down on the floor and started eating the crumbs off the floor with his mouth. I would say like a dog except he wasn't on all fours, but laying in the ground like a snake. Jonah then laughed and started doing the same thing. Good thing the floor was pretty clean as it had been washed today.


I handed out cookies to Noah as a replacement for his lost piece of cake, the last piece as it so happened.

The Computer Trap

Usually while trying to leave for school, the children will take this time to run in separate directions, and if I dress them, undo what I have done.
I have taken to using the computer as a means of moving them. For instance instead of chasing them down, I take the computer and bring it down the steps to where the door is. And then while they are engrossed in playing various games on PBS kids on the computer, I put their socks, on, change their pants, basically get them ready to get out the door. Only problem is today Jonah only watched Noah play for a little while. After all, that's all he can really do, watch Noah play. And that doesn't hold one's attention forever. So today he rebelled  at some point and we still ended up being late for school. What I really need, is the ability to lock Jonah in a stroller while still inside the house. In fact if I could lock both kids in a stroller that would be better. But our house isn't really set up for that. Either that or just use the computer as school. I am seriously beginning to questions of sending Noah to school. But he likes it so we do it. He isn't learning Chinese there. that's for sure. And I guess hi social skills wouldn't be as good. I don't think Jonah needs it to tell the truth. I could go to the playground and to some sort of museum every week and wouldn't that come out to be way cheaper than school has been? And less running around for me too.
Well we'll see.

Clubbing at Dawn

Yesterday it seemed that Boston shut down as a bit of an overreaction. The benefit for me was that after I woke up early to do shoveling that it turned out I could done with a broom, I knew I could get a workout in because Grace's work had closed. Actually the first thing I did was light workout stuff in the house, before I even started shoveling. My plan was to do less reps of stuff like pushups and leg lifts, with stretches and chi gung and yoga poses mixed in between and also sets of 100 palm strikes and kicks. The idea being I would keep everything light, but keep switching and keep going so that I would sort of be getting a cardio as well. My ultimate goal for that is to do a 2 hour session of that every morning. Of course I stopped way before that and when I heard people shoveling next door I figured that was a better use of my energy. But after that was over I grabbed my stick, or I could call it a club, and headed over to the park. It's heavier then a stick a I would use to fight (not that I fight with sticks, or fight at all for that matter) my point is it is heavy for me. But it is not heavy in terms of carrying it around. It's just heavy to swing around. I figure if I use that thing when I workout it will be the strength training I need for my forearms. Again. not particularly heavy. But also not particularly light.
I walked and then as I crossed the street I went into a job, and then I started striking well semi jogging semi kung fu walking. The stick was so unwieldy for me that I was no able to do a swing for each step at that pace, so I just did less swings and more time to set up. Then I slowed my feet to do more swings. Then I started Mein Lay Juming it (like Tai Chi) and going slow, and pretty soon I was tired and was walking back home and swinging the stick when I had the energy.
It was great being in the park in the early morning, able to swing such a heavy deadly club without orrying about hitting anything fragile and able to do so until I was zoning out and tired. Why didn't i do this every day?

Of course when I got back in the house and was undoing my shoes I heard Noah crying. Where was I? Why did I go outside? He had tried to pee pee but was unable to unzip the one-sie and had peed himself and why the well wasn't I there to help him?
So that's when I remembered why I hadn't being doing this everyday. And in fact, it was still pretty early. Usually Noah wouldn't have been up yet. But that might be because if he semi wakes up and he is next to me, he is more able to go back to sleep.

The Virtuous un-Virgin not yet married Mary

In a College religion class (taught by a Jewish Professor at a Catholic College) as an assignment I was supposed to read a spoof gospel, one written in the middle ages by the Jewish community that was then being oppressed. It was shown as one of the few examples of sort of answer to antisemitism.... if antisemitism had only been "yo mama" jokes. Of course antisemitism often had to do with pogroms and so writing anything like that was very dangerous. Anyway, I didn't end up reading it but the professor did a re-cap in class.
I was rolling. It was that funny. Of course the fact that I was laughing sort of proved that I hadn't done the reading. But whatever.
Jesus was a trickster in that version of the story. If they made a movie out of that gospel it would star Stephen Chow, and if you tweaked it a little bit and made Jesus win, at the end, and also made him more likeable, I think you could possibly have a new brand of Christianity, although that wasn't the intention of the authors.

The reason why I even bring that gospel up is because it said Jesus was actually the son of a Roman soldier.
I think this has to do with other Jesus's in the Talmud and a quick search on the internet showed that these versions of the story were actually used to froth up antisemitism and start pogroms. I don't know if there is any truth to this story or not, but it does seem like if Roman converts to Christianity 100 years after his death believed that Jesus was half Roman.. well that would be an easier conversion right? Since by Jewish law Jewishness comes from the mother, Jesus would be what seems to be impossible, a Roman Jew. But by that time there wasn't any Temple or Israel anymore and no more thoughts of creating a free state. Just Christians who were Jewish and Greeks trying to find a way to get onto the winning side somehow.


Back to Mary.

Let's say the real Mary (or any woman) was impregnated, and just for the story's sake let's say it is a foreign soldier. In that time period Roman. In our Time period, more likely American, since we are the modern Rome, but whatever, a stronger occupying force.

Here are some possibilities.

1) Mary was raped.
2) Mary was tricked, falling in love with a man who left her behind in a one night stand or maybe a week or whatever.
3) Mary fell in love and the soldier also fell in love with Mary but somehow it didn't work out.


Let's start with One.

One

 But I don't want to talk about this one too long except to say that obviously back in the day, even if a woman was raped, somehow the victim was blamed. This does happen to a degree nowadays but not as severely in the West or in more modernized countries. Some places in the world still have laws that side with the attackers and call for the death of the woman. Back in the day, most places seemed to be like this. It makes no sense to us, but I guess if you are a leader of a village you always side with the stronger party instead of with a victim. 5 men rape a girl. The 5 men have power and can fight wars for you or even kill you. The girl has no power and is not a threat to you. Of course this is morally wrong but that's probably the logic behind such laws with a weak police force.
It seems like a lot of stories in the 1980's would have the a female character be raped and then she is avenged and that seems to wipe out the rape, but of course it doesn't remove the memory at all. There is also the question of power. Nobody can imagine Athena being raped. But then Jesus actually dies and a ton of the Saints die horrible tortured deaths. I'm just saying that a version of Mary where she was raped instead of "divinely impregnated" is a valuable story. A woman can be a victim and still make something of herself afterwards, become a goddess or Saint, leader, innovator, what have you and have candles and incense lit to her, and have a son who is equally worthy of worship.
Also, Joseph, the man, can still be a father and still marry a woman whom he loves. Not only is it okay, it is the right thing to do. Back then, it might have been an issue he struggled with. But in the end, can he just abandon (even quietly) his betrothed just because she was raped and is pregnant?
 

Two

One is harder to talk about but in a way that story tends to be easier for a lot of men to swallow, because the woman is not at fault. In a way her virtue remains more "intact" because she is raped. But let's now say it was consensual. Mary was swept off her feet by a handsome Roman soldier who promises to take her home to Rome or wherever, and get married have kids. In this version Mary is at "fault" and even more so because she is mixing with an enemy race and being a traitor to her homeland and people and all these things that go along with that and people still talk like this today in some places. But the truth is it's not about race and countries, she just fell for another human being who wasn't true to her. Is that so much of a "fault"? That being swept off your feet thing is what keeps the species going. It's not against the creator that is supposed to have created the species. It might be a mistake. But then what? Can't Joseph still marry her and raise the child as his own son. Can't they still move on as a couple and start a family and be great people. Yes. And they deserve to be worshipped in death because Virtue is something more than calculating who is sleeping with whom.

Three

So this is sort of like Two except there is no mistake. Mary wasn't tricked. That was true love, like on Titanic with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. It's just something happened. The boat sunk. The soldier died in battle. Maybe even, he had to go away and didn't know she was pregnant and life went on. He met someone else. Whatever. But there was no trickery. So it turns out Mary is pregnant and for whatever reason her soldier is not coming back. Joseph wants to just divorce her quietly instead of making a thing out of it. Which is nice of him. But then he decides that he loves Mary, even if she is pregnant with someone else's baby. Or at least he loves her enough not to have her be a single parent mother. Maybe he doesn't even know her that well. Maybe he knows her enough to know he would get along with her and he would just raise the child as his own. And it turns out that son ends up being a great leader and his younger brother (Joseph's son) ends up being a big time leader in the first son's Church (even though he is later edited out of the story.) Isn't this Mary more likely? Doesn't she relate more to many women? And she can still be worthy of praise and still have the potential to become a Saint, goddess, businesswoman, CEO, even a Scientist or what have you. It will be harder, but it is still possible. Why hold this Mary back? Wouldn't this story help a lot of struggling young women and girls in time of need as someone to pray to? Wouldn't it help a lot of young men make a decision that would in the long run, not only be better for society, but possibly better for themselves as well? Why cast off a woman for a reason like that. She's pregnant with some other dudes kid.
But isn't she a person? Isn't she still potentially a goddess?



And go the other way. Just because a woman is a Virgin. What does that mean? THAT doesn't make her a virtuous or good person. Of course it is important that she is healthy if you want to have children with her. And it matters that she doesn't have an STI if you want to have sex with her. But as far as a human emotional relationship, something like that should factor in as small instead of being THE MAIN THING.


I'm not against the Virgin Mary Story. That is an important Fairy Tale. And I do believe in Fairy Tales. They have there place. One important place for them is that through Faith stories One two or three can be transformed into the Virgin Mary story not ending with a funeral but ending with the goddess/Saint Mary being worshipped. You always still have the potential for greatness no matter who you are.

What I'm saying, is versions one two and three are probably pretty important in today's world. And there's is no reason why you have to stick with one story. There are four gospels and several versions of creation in Genesis. Then obviously there is the Scientific reality of what we know, (and a lot of what we don't know) about the universe after creation. Space time and time not even existing at some point and crazy things that were so hard to imagine even 50 years ago. I don't even really know the Science story because my math isn't good enough. But that's the story I believe in. But that doesn't mean there is no place for the Fairy Tale less scientific versions as well.  There is a lot of benefit of praying and believing in Marys one two and three as well as the Virgin. The point is that all of them, the four versions talked about here, the more ancient Pagan Goddesses she was based on, all of them are Holy. Some of them might not have been too nice. But through modern sensibilities of right and wrong you can create the version that is moral and holy and who can help you.

Virgin vs. Virtue

I think the Virgin Mary story is a good one, just like the stork. But why does Mary have to be a virgin?
What does it mean to be a virgin? I'm not talking about literally that you haven't had sexual intercourse. Even with the sex thing there are a ton of gray areas. Anal sex, oral sex, are sorts of other things that are considered by some people to be breaking virginity and by others to not be breaking virginity. But all that seems to be getting away from something else. Like when you say virgin, you don't even mean virgin at all.
Furthermore I'm pretty sure that even in the stork-like version of the story Mary should have sex with Joseph after she is married. But maybe not. Historically Jesus had brothers, but the Catholic Church still says he didn't even though many priests still learn the historical fact that he did.  At Groton I was told that Virgin really meant Virgin womb. But I think that's just trying to make your story fit science. Sometimes fairy tales and science don't mix. You don't necessarily have to explain everything scientifically for it to be a good story. Star Trek was full of errors and fantasy  and fairy tales but Scientists and Atheists were often still fans.

So what is implied by "Virgin." I think that another V word should apply and that is Virtue.

Mary has to be Virtuous to be worthy of worship. Most of the other women in the Bible are prostitutes.. all four of them. And then there's Eve who gets blamed for everything. Then if you want to go down the Jewish Mysticism path there is Lilith and all that. But none of these women are worshiped. Mary is worshiped. Call her a goddess and you'll get into trouble with the Church, but she is, and when you look at how Chinese people define god or goddess, they are just powerful or virtuous people.

Guan Yin is a lot like Mary, originating from an Egyptian deity (that happened to be be male but Effeminate) Chinese and Vietnamese usually fix this issue by having other incarnations of Guan Yin that were Buddhist nuns or other such stories. In fact, like Mary, Guan Yin is a plethora of female deities in that there are different Guan Yin statues for different purposes, fertility, virtue, other stuff. But Guan Yin herself never has sex and also never gives birth, which is weird if you are buying the statue for fertility, how does that work?

If you think about it Virgin Mary is pretty fertile. She's so fertile that she doesn't even need to have sex and she gives birth.

Of course a lot of the pagan goddesses that  put into Mary worship when those cultures were converted were not Virgins. Maybe not even Virtuous by today's standards but they were worthy of worship.

I once read that China was once a Matriarchy back in the day like before civilization. Back then apparently they didn't understand the relationship between sexual intercourse and pregnancy. It was thought that all pregnancy was simply spontaneous and miraculous. But obviously everyone was having sex. So in a way, in this culture, everyone was like a Virgin, since having sex had nothing bad tied to it, and in a way, everyone was a Virgin Mary. So every Woman was worthy of worship hence a Matriarchy. Then someone decided that sperm was the seed and the woman the vessel and that belief lasted a long time and so did/does patriarchy. Of course Scientifically we know that the genes are from an egg and a sperm, and we've known that for a long time, but the world is still more run by men than by women, especially China, no matter what the law, or what Mao or whatever says. It's still a Patriarchy and most families in the U.S. (though not by as big a margin anymore) are still Patriarchies.

So back to China, Women became property instead of goddesses and Europe isn't all that different and basically men want their territory to not be marked by other men hence Virginity being so important. Scientifically it is important not to spread disease, but the Virginity thing wasn't so much about that I think in during times like the Plague, where you didn't have to have sex to catch  a fatal disease quite easily.

Anyway I do have a point to all this, which is the Mary story would do well to have an adolescent and an adult version that does not include virginity. But  I will get to that tomorrow.

Cheung Family Martin Luther King Day

Noah was pretty confused as to why he didn't have school today. I explained it was Martin Luther King Day. I even tried to go to something special. Here was our day.

We went to the Museum of Fine Arts because it was free today and because of that the line went all the way around the block. Now they did have two things that seemed like they would be  somewhat culturally black. There was story telling at the African art exhibit and then there were neon signs or something like that that were supposed to be about Martin Luther King.
The story telling turned out to be a lady reading a book. (I had imagined some sort of African Story Teller or I mean an African American who had studied African stories and the traditions that went along with that and tried to make it hands on. Drums rattles. something. Maybe I expect that because I'm from JP and there's like a ton of people walking down the street who own drums and rattles and have long dredlocks and wear some sort of culturally African or African American made in China clothes but you know they have the look. They should have hired a friend of mine he would have done all that.
But the story time was something I felt I could just do at home. Noah liked it, but Jonah was running away... in a crowded museum. I began to question my judgement on today's activity. Maybe we should have just gone to the playground.
We went and made Greek medallion coin necklaces instead.
I had actually made something similar on a trip to some museum, but it had been an Egyptian hieroglyph on my coin. Which might have been slightly more appropriate. Not that Egypt has much to do with Dr. King, but I mean at least there is some sort of reach there.
Anyway, the kids now had some proof that they didn't watch tv all day. And despite their lack of wonder and awe at the artifacts which I was beginning to be nervous about, Noah seemed not to want to leave.
But I knew we had reached our limit. He got outside... any exit would do, hopped on the Green line train (which they liked better than the museum) until restaurants were in sight. We walked in and ate some Pizza. There happened to be a guy in there who I recognized. He always works out at the park with swords and he has seen me work out too. But it's not a good time to interrupt someone mid workout so we had never actually talked to each other. But there we got to at least find out each other's names.

We headed home and changed. tried to nap. failed, and then went sledding. Jonah fell asleep in the stroller so he ended up napping while Noah and I went down the hill together. People kept looking over thinking someone had abandoned their child on the side of a hill until they saw me and Noah coming up the hill. Nice to know people are looking out I guess. Noah and I started making a snow man and then made a snow face on a tree instead Then Jonah woke up so we all went down the hill together a few times before heading home and getting dinner and some other business ready.

I was pretty satisfied with our little day off. But it wasn't very Martin Luther Kingly. I tried playing the I have a dream speech yesterday but Noah wasn't feeling it.
 
I saw that other cities had a parade. Did they have a parade here? If they did it wasn't marketed very well because I didn't know anything about it and I was looking for things to do like that. I would go to Roxbury and buy a bunch of stuff for no reason with my kids if such a parade existed. Well i would have at least bought lunch. I'm sure tons of non black people would do that. It could be good for the Roxbury community.
Of course it would have to be near the T and where I could get in and get out easily. They probably did have something. It would be easy to do something at Roxbury Community College, O'Bryant, and Madison Park. Just use that whole area as a fair ground. But I didn't see anything advertised.

Turning the other cheek

I've been thinking of going back to the Catholic Church. So seriously to the point that I have inquired about getting my kids Baptized. I guess there is a lot of reasons for this. One major one might be that I recently reconnected with my Godmother, and though she didn't mention it, I thought it might be nice if the kids were indeed baptized when I met her.

But mainly, the reason why I can now accept the Catholic faith where as before I could not, is basically through reading Reza Aslan's book and reading up on the Pagan origins of Christianity I feel that I could swallow Christianity because it has all that other stuff in it (and I would theorize that there are Buddhist roots to Christianity too just based on the fact that early Christianity was very Greek and then converted the Romans and Buddhism had already been around and frankly, quite nearby for over 600 years.) And basically the idea of Jesus Christ, is a good one, at least the way he is presented now and he is already a part of my psyche just from all the stories and movies and from my education. Even when I wasn't Christian, I inevitably was.
Plus I was baptized as a kid so why join another Church. Plus I think all the ritualistic traditions and all that stuff (which i never really did) are probably good. But I probably wouldn't send my kids to Catholic School.

One thing that I have been thinking about a lot is turning the other cheek. Mainly because this is something I don't do well. Or maybe I do it sometimes but it's hard. Basically the "slap" that you are supposed to turn your cheek to is not a fist. It is more of an insult. An nit picky type of conflict that Jamaica Kincaid complained about with her people saying they would make an event out of an everyday thing and ignore real events. Jesus was saying you have to get along with jerks because they will be needed in the revolution against Rome. (Not that he was successful at all.)


The main point it don't get sucked into all that.

I do.

Not so much on the street so much but in my relationship with my kids and with Grace.

In fact yesterday I raised my voice and even grabbed her arm after she yelled at me and did not help me with Jonah. He had been on the table, I took him off the table and put him on the floor. Grace said to bring him in the other room, so as I started to do that, taking my plates up to the sink. Jonah ran around the table and right by Grace, closer to her in fact and climbed back on the table. She yelled at me again and now she started throwing things on the table just like Jonah had been doing and said, "Let's just let them do whatever they want then."

From her perspective, I wasn't doing what I was told or watching the kids, which is my job, and not hers.

From my perspective, this was ridiculous because my hands were full and I simply needed her to stop him from climbing on the table a second time so that I could do what she had asked of me.  Instead she broke down into childhood behavior. And I was about to lose it. I yelled at her and put the plates down and took the kids upstairs. But then I came back and grabbed her by the arm, and said, "I need you to listen to me."

Basically I was lecturing her rather roughly the way I would do to Noah if he were being bad and was near the street.

I shouldn't grab Noah like that, but I do. I shouldn't have grabbed Grace like that. But I did.


It is difficult to see the full situation when you are in that moment of frustration.

The full situation is this. Grace is not my enemy. She is the breadwinner and homeowner. Essentially like or not she is my boss and it is my job to watch the children. It would be nice if she could help out, but when it comes down to it, that is not really her job or her strength. Her job is to make money for the family which she does and when she comes home she probably wants to relax instead having to take care of the kids.
So when she slights me, or acts unfairly or anything like that.. turn the other cheek. I have no quarrel with her, She is the mother of my children and the breadwinner. There is no need to lecture her or grab her arm.
Now there was a lot of things that I did do that were probably good. But ultimately I can't change the fact that I yelled and I did indeed grab a woman's arm in anger, instead of just walking away and not raising my voice.

Which technically takes less energy to do.

It is difficult to do this though. And essentially it is a good idea, the turn the other cheek idea. It doesn't mean you let people run over you. You just don't get sucked into a situation of anger where there isn't really a conflict. When there is a real conflict, "if you don't have a sword sell your cloak and buy one."
But among your own people, especially your own family, turn the other cheek.

I'm thinking that maybe going to church and praying and all that will help me do this, as mental exercise. In fact, just to keep calm and raise children, I think I will need to eat magic bread and wine (magic from placebo effect if nothing else) that is the body and blood of Christ, the idea created after Jesus's death who is basically a Roman Greek Jewish  version of Buddha.

Early or Late

Recently I have been taking Noah to school fairly late. Mainly because he hasn't been going to bed that early and thus he's been waking up later, and also he doesn't eat his breakfast like a machine. And then getting dressed is the perfect time for both of them to rebel and run in opposite directions. Sometimes all this is dangerous. For instance, two days ago, Noah's finger somehow got caught in the door. I'm not sure exactly how that happened, but he was fine. Today Jonah fell and hit his head while I was trying to put his pants on and he was trying to reach for something or escape or I don't know what. He was also fine.

Anyway, the teachers commented that I had to get to school earlier today because of some sort of inspection or something of that sort. So we got there at 8:30. And one of the older workers commented that the Lo Fahn jai had gotten here soooo early.
Why am I either sooo early or late?
Well basically I presented breakfast but didn't give them the usual I don't know, hour or so to eat it. And they didn't So we went to school anyway. Also, I woke them up. I had been letting them sleep because I figured they needed it, especially since they were somewhat sick and had even been debating whether or not to bring them. But then what is Noah going to do all day? Certainly not rest. That's for sure.
Now my fear is since I had to drop him off in a different classroom that Noah is going to Pee his pants and all other sorts of things, which is why I started taking him in later in the first place.
We'll see what the result is.

A great gift.

When I was in college I remember having a conversation about the death of my parents with an art teacher. The subject comes up with me more than one would think mainly because people will always ask why I have the name Cheung. I would have to explain that my father was Chinese. And usually people don't listen that carefully so they will ask what my dad does for a living. Then after all that they will ask what my mom does and then I would explain her death too.
And then there would be some discussion of when they died etc etc.
Anyway, this teacher talked about her mother's death when she was an adult and how it was never a good time to lose someone you love. And how she thought about it every day.

My mother has actually just died recently at that time and I tried to think about all that as little as possible. To think about all that would freeze me up and not that I didn't think about it, but I really just tried to ignore those thoughts.

I also remember a conversation with a family friend, a Chinese woman, who did not speak English, talking about when her mother died. She asked me if I thought of my mother often. I mentioned that I hadn't. At that point in life it was true. I guess more recently I have been thinking about my mother more often because of my kids or because I just visited her side of the family and also the thing Grace mentioned about Bunnies. (I had forgotten to mention that Jonah was also born in the year of the rabbit.)
But in any case, before my children, I didn't give much conscious thought to my mother. I bottled it up and kept moving forward forward forward.

So I was shocked when this family friend mention that she thought about her own mother every single day and felt the pain of her death as if it was yesterday. Honestly I had never heard much talk about emotions from Chinese people when I was growing up. Maybe it was because of my age, or because they thought that language was a barrier. But there it was. Here we were having this conversation at a restaurant at a table full of people.

I was thinking about this recently and how there is this sort of myth that if someone is old enough, that their death isn't sad. Maybe it's not tragic. It's not like a young persons death. But just because something isn't tragic doesn't mean that it isn't sad.

For instance imagine that you had a family friend who you hung out with as a child and let's say that this person was 1,000 years old. Now that is way older than humans are "supposed" to live. It would mean that this person could have raised you, your father, your grand father, and you're great grandfather as children.
 If this 1,000 year old person were to die, you wouldn't brush it off as "Oh yeah he/she had a good run anyway so it doesn't really matter, It was time to go."
The reason why you wouldn't do this even if you're own relatives might die as children or as young adults in war, from sickness, car accidents and various types of tragedies is because despite all that this almost immortal person would have become a pillar, a cornerstone for your family. And so their death may not be tragic, but it would still be a great loss.

But of course having the memory of such a person, 1,000 years or even a very young person and focusing on the life is a great gift. And thinking about them everyday in a positive way is a good thing. So recently I suppose I have been thinking of my mother everyday, because of the types of things I see Jonah do that remind me of her, because of the shape of my and Noah's feet, and of course because of that Spiritual Idea of the Bunnies that Grace pointed out.

Impact Model Mugging and Downton Abbey

Spoiler Alert.

If you haven't seen Downton Abbey Season 4 Episode 2 don't read this unless you don't care about spoilage.

Let's talk about the violent scene. The scene that required a warning before the show started. I thought that warning was weird. I thought, "was that in front of the other ones?" It didn't appear before the episodes about war.  I guess it's okay for children to watch  people being blown up. But not the controversial scene where Anna is attacked.

Maybe it's because I used to be a suited self defense instructor where women crane striked my eye targets on a helmet and then used their thigh to strike a large cup I wore for the groin target... but I really thought Anna was going to get away. I was like, "Eyes! Groin!" Because Anna is tough and married to Bates. I thought she was going to own that guy. Not necessarily  beat him down, but surprise him, hit him where it hurts, and then just get upstairs. She's in Downton Abbey. Everyone is upstairs. She even gets a punch in, but then in the next scene the guy (I don't remember his name) has her by the hair and is bringing her somewhere and basically you know she is going to be violently raped. I looked at what people were writing about it and I guess there was a lot of controversy over in and they seemed to say Downton Abbey was becoming a Soap Opera, that type of thing. That thought crossed my mind, and for some reason, even after Sybil died and Mathew Crawley died, I thought Anna was impervious to this. I mean even if she was attacked but fended the attacker off that would still be a harrowing event. But these things happen and I guess that's why Julian Fellows wanted to deal with it. I you just know because of the time and the situation that Anna probably won't come forward. The guy goes back upstairs and even says goodnight and he is going to get away with it. And now since she is a main character this event is going to continue to be an issue throughout the series.

All of that made me kind of overlook the other rape that happens at the same time. Tom Branson is date raped (except he is not dating the new Ladies Maid, although he sort of did go on a date with her a year ago at the Carnival when she put her arm through his without asking.)

But it is clear that she is also a rapist. She drugged him. You don't see her putting drugs in his whiskey (just like you don't see Anna getting raped) but you know it happened. You know because earlier Fellows ties both rapist characters together. The maid says, "I would have won.. a good omen"
The guy rapist asks, "A good omen for what?"
"Never you mind" says the female rapist.


Then you don't see her putting drugs in a drink, but you see Anna putting drugs in a glass of water. Drugs that are the excuse for why she has a battered face. So strong that it is believable enough that they would have made her pass out and hit the table. A lie, but credible enough, so the drugs are in the house.
Then the maid  gives Branson a whiskey.
"What is this?" he asks. If an Irish guy has to ask what he's drinking when he is drinking a whiskey, something is wrong. Then he comments that it is strong. That's also fishy. Then she encourages him to drink it all down and don't think about anything and just bring it to his room and drink it all down there.

Fellowes really wants to deal with rape and race this season. So even if you were to think, "If only Anna had known Impact" or something like that. the second rape shows that sometimes that doesn't matter. Tom is very strong, much stronger than the maid. But emotionally he is at a weak point, and she sees an opening. This will also be the second time that someone has put something in Tom's drink at a social event. The first time, Lady Sybil was still alive. Why does the Maid rape him? She wants to become pregnant because in her mind he will have to Marry her, the family will have to accept her and she will be an Arictocrat, or closer to being an aristocrat than she had been. We'll see how that plays out, who is blamed. Pretty sure Tom will only go to Ms. Hughes, just as Anna did. And Ms. Hughes will be the only one who knows about both rapes and the only one besides the participants that knows about either. I'm not sure if Tom's issue will blow over in terms of the House, or what but the two rapes are definitely foils for each other.

A trip to the dentist

So I'm finally deciding to see a dentist regularly and I guess I have a lot of problems. Probably because I didn't see a dentist regularly since I was a kid. I remember in Highschool I think I went to Boston Medical Center with my mom and they told me I would have to remove my wisdom teeth or else this this and this would happen. They quoted a price and my mother was like, "Okay somehow we'll find the money." And I was like, Please you don't even have that money so just leave it. You don't even know if what they say will happen.." and really what I thought is, "you don't even know if I'll live that long."
Well all the cavity type of stuff did happen and here I am and I will have to remove those teeth and other teeth. Some of the Dentists seem horrified that for one of my teeth, instead of having a root canal, I asked if they could just pull it. Each dentist that came over would at first be horrified but then, upon seeing that I had already had the tooth under it pulled 10 years ago and also seeing technically it isn't doing anything they see that it makes sense. But I suppose most people get really freaked out about losing a tooth, and seeing the Dentists sort of freak out made me feel like maybe I should freak out.
I was trying to analyze why I hadn't freaked out about pulling the first tooth. It wasn't just money. Because Technically, I did have the money and the amount of money I could have spent on my own teeth was far less than I lent to other people who ended up just being gambling addicts. I.e. I spent way more money to help other people, who didn't deserve it or even need it, than I spent to save my own teeth?
Why?
Well I was never in a gang, and I would never say that I was a part of the "streets" as people like to say. I just lived and grew up in a certain neighborhood and then was a round certain types of people. all the while watching PBS, reading and playing violin. But in a way, looking back throughout my life, I always had a fatalistic mentality. Maybe it was those very books I had read, maybe it was all the funerals I attended as a child, maybe it was just hearing about people I didn't necessarily know that well, die etc. etc. or maybe it was just focusing on all that negative stuff instead of focusing on what I could potentially achieve. But my teeth didn't matter to me, because in a way, my life didn't matter as much to me as you might think it should have.
Anyway, now my life does matter to me, mainly because I have children. And I guess my health really matters to me too. That one tooth, I can do without, but I have a few other cavities and I will need another root canal on top of that, and I am definitely willing to shell out for that even though I don't have a job. Grace said I should just pull out all my teeth and get fake ones.

Anyway, Noah has my teeth and will have my same problems. So I am damn sure that we will take care of his wisdom teeth  in College or something the way Grace had hers done. So that the this this and this is less likely to happen. Jonah but his teeth are not my own. My teeth, Noah's and my mother have a shape that make them hard to clean and also huge canines.

Anyway, that was my little trip to the dentist. Have to go back next week and then another appointment before things even start to get done.

Road to Sochi Tour

This Sunday Our family did Dim Sum followed by a trip to Boston Common to check out the road to Sochi Tour. Noah took a while to warm up to what we were doing there but eventually he was pretty excited about doing activity after activity. It is very interesting what a child will find entertaining. He liked the luge, which was awesome but of course is not nearly as fast as sledding down the sugar bowl, but one of his favorite things to do was the Hockey station. Where he just hit pucks into an open goal. For people that cared, or understood, there was something that measured how fast your puck was going. But he didn't care. He could just stand there all day hitting pucks into an open goal if I had let him. I thought, "I think I have children's hockey sticks and a ball and we leave right near a field with soccer goals." And as I write this now I'm thinking this is probably something we could do in the house if we had a soft puck/plush toy.
Anyway, there was speed skating simulators and various Wii stations, free samples, and curling. I thought Noah would like that, but it ended up being too hard for a child to do. There was also some sort of street cross country skiing which I got on not thinking that maybe I needed to really tighten those boots.
"Have you ever been on skis before?" some guy asked me.
"No."
"I gotta see this." meaning in retrospect, I gotta see this guy fall on his ass on asphalt it's going to be hilarious. I walked over the muddy grass to the asphalt foot path and started going downhill and realized I didn't really know how to stop or turn or anything, and Jonah kept running next to me and in front of me. But I knew I wasn't going fast or anything. I kept trying to like roller blade with them and I never really got to move smoothly. I looked awkward and felt like a clown because the skis kind of felt like Clown shoes. Someone was singing, "I'm Proud to be an American.. " and the audience was watching this very emotional Patriotic moment as I walked by on my street skis right through the crowd and back over the muddy grass because that's the only part where people weren't standing. I smiled weakly saying, "excuse me."
Anyway my kids enjoyed that. I had intended on just going first to show Noah and then letting him go in the adult sized skis (they didn't have kids ones) but after doing it myself, and not having really tied them, I realized he would probably hurt himself.
At some point as me and Noah were waiting in line again for the Hockey station and I thought Grace was watching Jonah, Grace yelled at me, "Where's Dai dai?"
I couldn't see him and it was taking longer than usual to catch sight of him. Then I saw him going up the steps to the Luge station again, by himself, not a care in the world. Apparently he had even tried to run up the little luge hill and the people running it told me ver dramatically they were like, "Noooooo..." you know that slow motion type of No you use in stories. Well that was slightly frightening. I am beginning to notice that I do a better job at watching my kids when Grace isn't there because I will often (wrongly) assume that she will watch a kid or pick up this or that slack, but when I am by myself, I know it is just me. And I guess when it comes down to it, I am the main caretaker and so in a way, Grace is actually not that experienced watching kids.
But then if she is by herself with them she seems to do okay.
I guess its like that old saying.

One monk will carry two buckets of water by hanging on each side of his pole.
Two monks will shoulder one end of the stick and carry only one bucket of water between them.
Three monks will stand around and argue about who is to do what and nobody will get anything done.

Well All in all, it was a fun day and I was actually sore. Not sure if I'm sure from today or from my play session yesterday. Probably both.
While Jonah napped, I took Noah back into Chinatown and we did a little Moh Goon stick fighting session while I waited around to run an errand.
On the way home Noah passed out in the stroller and is yet to wake up. Guess it's time to do that.

Indoor Exercise

Today was rather rainy and even though we sort of did Kung Fu in the park, I felt it was not enough. In fact we had a lot of fun doing swords outside on the melting ice, bu when I tried to bring some structure into it things went to hell. Jonah wanted to go home, and Suddenly Noah wanted to stay. I was with Jonah since it was rainy and windy.
Later in the day I decided to try a little indoor exercise. Not necessarily Kung Fu, Just dancing or something. I noticed that at school the kids seemed to respond to some of the jumping around stuff better than Kung Fuing, which requires more focus.
I put on Dinosaur train songs instead of my usual Kung Fu music ideas and just tried to get them to dance around. But of course they did keep trying to look at the computer screen. And eventually Noah started doing Kung Fu moves even though I didn't ask him to.
For slower songs we did Mein Lay Jum. I tried to add running around, and Crawling and squats and then eventually I pulled out the pool noodles and we did mad sword fighting running in circles around the house. Sometimes I crawled  and tried to jump often for good measure. There was much laughing involved and I realized that even though I wasn't necessarily doing full force "serious" Kung Fu, that I was sweating, and much more quickly than I do for my usual work out. Perhaps I have been going about this all wrong. I should be doing this sort of play more often and doing less structure. Obviously they like it more and obviously I am getting a more cardio-vascular workout. I'm not saying I shouldn't do my other Kung Fu. But maybe I shouldn't make them do my other Kung Fu.
This kind of made me depressed. I felt like playing around is better than training anyway so what have I done with my life? Why didn't I focus on something like Computer Programming and just played around with moves I saw in Kung Fu movies on my own? I mean maybe just done a serious Kung Fu training for a month and then moved on with my life, visiting from time to time and going to performances as a friend.

But then, there is clearly something stronger about my strikes, not only than "normal" people, but also more than a lot of other Martial Artists who practice probably more than I do, but differently. Could I have arrived where I am today without the serious training. But then did it matter? I have no job after all. Well now that I have already done many serious years of training, in a way I have become stuck with those years. SO the only thing to do is to make sure my kids enjoy Kung Fu and gain the benefits of it without being "stuck" with it. I.e. have other skills that preferably make lots and lots of money. I still want them to know all the Kung Fu I do, to pass it on as some sort of secret Family Heirloom. In fact even in high school I had written a paper about my Kung fu practice to that effect. The fact that it was a very portable heirloom that is difficult to lose once you gain it. Was this the right thinking? Grace would say no. I guess I am of many minds about it.

Show and Tell Rehearsal

Noah was pretty excited about doing show and tell today. So despite the fact that he had a Trumpet cough throughout the night and a bit of it this morning, I sent him to school. He's not really sick otherwise and after I gave him soft cough medicine it seems to have gone away.
He was so excited for Show and Tell that last night he and Mommy did a Show and Tell Rehearsal. We actually left his show and Tell item at school Yesterday to make sure it was there. It was a Kung Fu Panda book. But for rehearsal we just used various items around the house. Mommy made him do an opening introduction and then ask if we had any questions. I was trying to tune his toy guitar and she insisted that I participate in asking questions. At first I asked questions like Grace did.
"What color is that car?"
"How many wheels does it have?"
"Who bought this car for you?"
Noah answered them pretty well.
But I figured as long as we are doing a rehearsal and pretending to be an audience I might as well ask questions that are more likely to be asked by children.

"What do you say?" said Grace.
"Ummm.. Do you have any questions...hee hee hee." Noah said smiling and twisting and turning with giggles.
I raised my hand.
"Baba."
"Umm... I forgot my question." I said.
Grace looked at me with disgust.
"Haven't you ever done a presentation for kids before?" I asked "Every time I do about 5-8 kids will ask this 'question' at least. Every time."

We went through another item and another rehearsal and Grace did another bout of questions.
I raised my hand again.
"Baba."
"Ummmm... I have a car just like that at my house."
"He said do you have any QUESTIONS" said Grace annoyed with my question.
But indeed any time I have ever done a presentation or class I probably get 10 "questions" like this each time and I told her so.
If your going to rehearse (which I wouldn't have bothered but Noah did seem to be having fun going through this) you might as well prepare them for what's out there right?
Well I guess we can ask Noah how he did at Show and Tell tonight.

Family Push hands

Grace went to an acupuncturist for her knee and her back and was told that most of her health problems are due to too much Yang. She was told to do various exercises which I had already told her to do tui na massage, which I had also already told her to do.
So I tried to get her to follow along with me doing Mein Lay jum. Not the whole form but just a few moves. But I could tell that even though we were only doing a minute or so through out the day that she was having trouble relaxing and focusing and the kids were making it difficult too so the other day I decided to just do push hands with her. Not for the sake of push hands, but just for the sake of doing mein lay jum like moves in a game to make it more interactive and fun.
Grace immediately did really hard Yang moves, which defeats the purpose as far as trying to relax. But she did, "It's just better la."
But then my soft moves just stuck to her and plus I tried to get her to move more, by moving more and bring the whole body into it. My idea was to treat it more like an interactive dance. But then she said, "Your not letting me do all my moves."
So then I tried to not do moves but only follow her moves because this whole exercise wasn't about me or martial arts. It was just about movements. But as soon as I just tried to follow her only without doing any of my own moves she pushed my hand really hard and leaned in with her face. My elbow went into her nose in slow motion (good thing it was slow motion)
"Owww!!!"
"Now my nose hurts!. My eyes hurt too! Grrrrr!"
I suppose that's why you have to do push hands in an unfun structured way as a beginner.
"Dai dai!" she called and then went downstairs to put him to sleep.
This morning I said, "Okay do you want to do Push hands or just mein lay jum.
Grace thought for a second and then got into a fighting push hands stance while laughing. I guess her nose didn't hurt that bad after all. We stayed with one hand push hands and then I held Jonah and Jonah sort of did push hands with Grace too, followed by some Basic Kung Fu moves Grace did by herself and this ended the Morning session. She still did it mostly Yang but she claimed she was already relaxing so maybe it just takes some time.
I tried to get Noah to do some push hands, but recently we have been putting on gloves and he has been pounding me. So by comparison, push hands is boring. He looked at Grace during the push hands and then said, "No." and sat in my lap. Later we did the boxing gloves again. The rule being (his rule) that when he gets to 10 he gets to cup me in the head and I'm not allowed to block or move. I foresee problems with this game as he gets older and bigger, but for now I just let it go.

Zen of napping.

Grace registered the kids for schools yesterday. Good thing one of these parents is organized. For Registering we got a little goody bag with books and crayons. I was really excited about it because one of the books was actually a book I was meaning to buy. Zen Ties, by Jon Muth. The main characters are Stillwater, a giant panda Zen master, and his nephew Koo a play on the words Haiku. When I borrowed the books from the library before Noah has called them big and little Kung Fu Panda. And there is indeed pictures of various Tai Chi looking exercises in the beginning and end of the book. These books are actually more Zen than Kung Fu Panda.

I'm actually having a lot of trouble being very Zen right now. For some reason Jonah is not going down for his nap as he usually does. It might have something to do with me missing my window of opportunity at onepm. He usually watches some sort of PBS kids or videos and clonks out. But I was on the phone with people about lion dances. Of course I chose to answer those phone calls. So I guess it is my fault And ultimately I had promised myself to take a step back from all that this year and focus on my children because of the strain it put on my family and my children.

Anyway, So I guess Jonah just missed the time he can nap by. Because if he naps now, we won't be able to wake up in time really to pick up Noah. Well at any rate it will cut it close. I guess I'll try one more time.

Lord Shen's Death

When Kung Fu Panda defeats Lord Shen at the end of Kung Fu Panda 2 you will notice that he doesn't kill him. He does another cool move withe "inner Peace" saying "Skadoosh" In the first movie, thi is when the villain dies. In the second movie the cannon goes into Lord Shen's cannon and there is an explosion. If you were to skip the next little scene and just go to the wrap up of the heroes hugging, it would be just like the first movie. In other words, Lord Shen could easily have died without the next scene. But they have another scene where he dies. Why? I'm sure there was some issue with how Po killed Tai Lung. Some discussion about it, and so the next scene is added.
Po climbs aboard the ship and Lord Shen is still alive. Po gives Lord Shen a chance to redeem himself (just like he gave Tai Lung a chance) and even lectures Lord Shen about he needs to let go of the past and all that hatred. Po does this despite the fact that unlike Tai Lung, Lord Shen definitely did kill people. In fact he carried out a pogrom on Pandas and for all Po knows is personally responsible for the the death of Po's biological parents. Some people say because of these scenes the second movie is darker, and indeed it does seem to be scarier for my kids. But there is a real reason to put Shen to death. He is really bad and is trying to take over the world. Tai Lung is not really that guilty of much. In fact, if you think about it, if you took away his Kung Fu, he'd just be a jerk but not a threat. A Buddhist monk faced with Tai Lung would just handicap him or something. Without arms and legs what can he do? Maybe they will go back and try to explain that the Wushu finger hold doesn't kill after all because Tai Lung really could be rehabilitated. I think the writers might have decided it was a mistake to kill him. (Morally. Plot wise death is just cleaner and easier. Doesn't make it right though.)
Because of this problem. Po lectures Lord Shen and then Lord Shen tries to stab him. A real threat, unlike Tai Lung's pressure points that just tickle Po. And then, Po doesn't end up killing Shen. Shen bumps into some stuff and a Cannon is falling. Po runs, but Lord Shen let's the Cannon fall on him. Lord Shen dies in an accident/suicide. And so morally Po is nor responsible at all. I think in part two they were more careful about that death scene. They had to make it so that Po cannot kill and indeed is willing to forgive even the worst villain. Because killing the villain in a joking cuddly way in the first one made the audience and everyone feel good, but hen you analyze it, it was kind of wrong. But also, Po has just become the Dragon warrior in the first movie. A very unlikely Dragon Warrior. The other candidates are Tigress and really Tai Lung. Tai Lung should be the Dragon warrior, his name is Big Dragon, except for his evil, but essentially he has all the qualities of the Dragon Warrior otherwise. Where as Po just has the right personality, the Right understanding, and just a little bit of training.
So you could say that death is more about the death of a personality than the death of a person. And that's why we don't think of Tai Lung as a person.
I think they really should at some point, explain that Wushu finger hold, and I think they purposefully left it vague, because it is a hard thing to explain. As it is now, Po murdered Tai Lung in cold blood almost. (but with no witnesses to prove it and so the self defense argument is easy to make) But maybe later they culd explain that the Wushu Finger hold simply takes away your Kung Fu and all your evil or some such thing. But it's too hard to explain, so the writers purposefully leave it vague.

Ethics and Morality in Kung Fu Panda

Noah has really gotten into Kung Fu Panda, and Jonah likes it enough to watch along too. Although some parts still scare him.
At any rate, Noah has been asking a lot of questions about Kung Fu Panda. Namely, "Where is Tai Long in Kung Fu Panda 2?"
And others as a result of the answer.
Why did Tigress try to stop Tai Long?
Why did Tai Long kill Tigress? (he didn't he only beat her.)
Why did he beat her?
How did he beat her?
How come Kung Fu Panda caught Tai Long with his finger like this?
Why did Kung Fu Panda destroy Tai Long?

I guess this is what is meant by Parental Guidance.

Anyway, here is something troubling about the first movie. It's obvious that Tai Long is a bad guy. It is implied that maybe he killed people. But since it is a children's movie you really have no proof of this. All that is said is that Tai Long "wreaked havoc on the Valley." He fought and hurt a lot of people, and scared a lot of people. Basically he threw a tantrum and I think Noah (and indeed a lot of kids) can identify with Tai Long. He is so angry at his guardians for not giving him what he wanted, what he felt he deserved, what he felt he was promised in return for all his really really hard work and obedience. But then Master OO Gwei says that Tai Long (Big Dragon) cannot have the Dragon scroll after all.
So he throws a tantrum that we don't see and is locked up in severely inhumane conditions for years.

Then he escapes and beats a lot of people up. But nobody dies that we know of.

The furious five go to stop him and they have a Kung Fu fight that looks a lot like the training fights that friends have with each other throughout the movie, except that Tai Long Freezes a couple of them.

Then it is asked why Tai Long didn't just kill the five and the answer is that he wants Master Shifu and the others to be afraid. But that's what they think. Maybe he just wants his dragon scroll. Maybe he is just a big child that is misguided and wants to beat up his parents and everyone else, but in the end he doesn't really want to kill them. Pak mei is a good historical "villain" example. It is clear he wanted to beat Jee seen (the Shaolin Abbot) and also clear he wants to constantly show the "Shaolin Heroes" that come after him that he is better thathem. But somehow they always manage to escape alive. Even Jee Sin escapes alive initially and only dies later and it is unclear whether Pak Mei really meant to do that. In fact Pak Mei students say that their founder went into a kind of depression after Jee Sin died. Well back to KF panda fiction, Tai Long never kills anyone. All he does is beat people up and destroy a lot of property, which is all any of the Kung Fu people do in the movies. Except that Tai Long attacks first and attacks innocent people as well as people who raised him and his younger Kung Fu siblings. He is a traitor.

So Po and Tai Long fight and I guess that is over the dragon scroll and you could say that Tai Long wins because he does indeed get the dragon scroll and opens it and gets to see it, which is theoretically the whole point of all this fighting. Then he doesn't get it, and Kung Fu Panda tries to explain it to him, and he decided to attack KF Panda but his deadly pressure points jut tickle Po and then Po ctaches him in the Wushu Finger hold.
And here is a difficult point. Po then murders Tai Long, and does so in a joking way saying Ska Doosh. Nobody morns Tai Long. Everyone is with Kung Fu Panda as he presses his finger down and seems to unleash some sort of Kung Fu Bomb. But when you think about it. Po, cuddly and funny as he may be, is the only one who we see Kill someone else. Again. Its a kids movie. If it was an adult movie Tai Long would rape and kill children or something of that sort but think about it, Po is the only one who kills anyone. And if you kind of identify with Tai Long, you will wonder why Noah throws tantrums and is bad sometimes. Maybe Tai Long was bad but did he deserve death? Did he even deserve jail in the first place? Why didn't he initially get the dragon scroll anyway. Noah, with limited language, is essentially trying to ask me these questions by asking the same few qusetions over and over. "Where is Tai Long in this Lung Fu Panda?" (holding up the cover to KF Panda 2)
Why does Po kill Tai Long?
Self defense? Sort of. Did Po feel threatened at that point? Not really? The death touches were just tickling and indeed Po had Tai Long in a hold. There was no trial for Tai Long. They could of locked him back up. But then he could escape again. Tai Long's crime is that A) he doesn't listen to authority. and then B) he is too powerful to ignore. Killing him is easier. So that's what happens. Of course he "dies" in a vague way that maybe it could be explained away that he didn't really die, but that is what a mushroom cloud implies right?

If you think I am over analyzing this, then I will explain how I am not by explaining the difference between that villains death and the Lord Shen's death in Kung Fu Panda 2. People must have talked about it and so they decided to make that death decidedly different, even though Lord Shen is actually guilty of genocide.

Nato

Grace saw that these fermented soy beans are all the rage in Japan and bought a bunch of them for us to eat. By "us" she certainly didn't mean herself. Fu Yu is fermented Tofu and I really like that. So I figured I would like it. But it kind of looked like the loose poo I just changed out of Jonah's diaper. A poo that happened to push out of the diaper and all over the pants everywhere. Plus the smell of a fermented soybean has a poo like quality too. So I was not a fan. Jonah however ate it right up. I'm not sure if it is because he is sick and can't smell it, or maybe he just has a taste for that Japanese style of flavor. If he does he gets it from my mom. My mother once worked as the only white person at a Sushi place in Cambridge. The reason they didn't hire whites was because a lot of the people working there didn't speak English. But there was a lot of protests from white people about it anyway. This was the 80's I guess. Maybe there was sensitivity with all that Rising Sun novel and all that.  Anyway, they hired my mom because she could speak Japanese. And when the protests started they pointed to her and were like, "we do hire whites see?"

Anyway Grace bought a lot of this Nato stuff and showed me all these videos of people eating it. One is of a Japanese guy who speaks very little English but his presentation is in English. This may sound weird but he is like the Japanese version of a stereotypical white "dude" Not like a cowboy Dude. But like Jay and Silent Bob type dude. It was a very entertaining video. The Nato looked pretty good when he ate it. But the package we opened yesterday is still sitting on the dining room table with only a few baby Jonah bites having been taken out of it.


Maybe if I was like starving, I would eat it.

Jonah eats some weird stuff though.

Today Grace said she walked into the kitchen and saw a chair pushed up against the counter and a wrapper of butter.. empty. Now the whole stick wasn't there before. Maybe like10-15% of a butter stick. That is still quite a hunk of butter to eat straight. But I've seen Jonah try to eat butter like that. In fact I had taken measures to keep him away from that specific piece of butter. But then Grace left it out again.
I'm pretty sure he gets that from my mom too. Recently I have been liking butter a lot too. I just know it's not so great for me. But Jonah is two. What does he know? He thinks Nato is great.
Then again so does most of Japan. So maybe Jonah knows something I don't

Love and Suffering

I had a dream I was listening to a Youtube talk by a band/shaman teacher who was giving a lecture about Music and I suppose trance. The song they were singing was that Guns and Roses "Sweet Child of mine." except the lyrics were different. It had to do with trying to get around restraining orders in to see a child from a previous marriage. It was about real Suffering and trying to do everything for the child and the lecture was about how this song brings us to another plane by dragging us into a human suffering and then enabling us to rise above it when the song shifts key (the real version does not I don't think.) and that is when it starts talking more about Love. That true love for a child even the divorce was ugly etc.

There are several reasons why I had this dream. Partially because my Uncle played me a similar song, partially because there is this THING that has forced me to think about my own children and the possibility that this Bliss of cuddling them and being able to hold them and play with them may end. The THING is probably nothing to worry about, but I realized that the truth is that the Bliss will come to an end eventually because at some point my children, my little children, will be teenagers or adults, with problems, with successes, and maybe they won't me around at that point.

Such a Song that encompasses Suffering and is popular is the type of thing people play over and over again. Even though the lyrics were different, that one opening section of music, is catchy but there is also something there. In High school one of the guys next to ours would practice that one or two bars over and over again for hours. He never performed guitar, so it was really more for himself. It didn't bother him to play those notes over and over, and frankly it didn't bother me to listen to it. It might have been one of the very few things he could play, but I recalled some girls visiting him saying that he was so good.
Another guitarist commented in a negative way about this. I am not a guitarist, but I do play other instruments. I think that even though it is a few bars or maybe only one, I think there is something in it.

People think music has to be complicated to be good. But the music a baby craves for can be as simple as a hairdryer or a vacuum cleaner, because it reminds the child of the womb. And shamanic drumming is usually purposefully random and less about song then sound.

But perhaps melody can also take us to these trance like states.

It struck me as extremely wrong when I read that Buddhist Monks cut themselves off from music. But them they also cut themselves off from Romantic love and anything that could possibly cause Suffering. Buddhism, in a way tries to avoid suffering though the main idea is to try and rise above it.

This thinking of being away from my children was so painful that the words that came into my mind was "Let this cup pass from me." Now I'm not a proper Christian (who is though?) But I thought maybe this has something to do with the popularity of the Religion. The fact that the god is the Only God and yet he has to suffer horribly. It just seems so right.
But then the child asks his father to stop it and here's where it seems wrong. The Father, even if he couldn't stop the sacrifice, should have switched places with Jesus at the last second. Because that's what a real parent would do. Well the Story would have so many more possibilities as a simple Fairy Tale then a religion. There is so much more you could do with it. But that's another entry.
The point is in the end Your child will have to go through things and you won't be able to switch places and again that is so much the Human experience.

Anything that can capture that suffering, a song, a story, a soap opera, no matter how cheap or stupid, hits on something that draws us towards it.


In Kung Fu Panda, Master Shifu mentions 2 paths to inner peace. One is meditation for 50 years in a cave without the slightest taste of food or water. That sounds similar to Monastic Life.
The second is through incredible pain. That was Po's way. Through s painful human experience that was relived instead of being blocked out.

Both Christianity and Buddhism seem to offer an out to Human Suffering, Enlightenment and Heaven. And the path there is Love. But in the pagan aspects of both religions, where Gods are not enlightened but just powerful, we see that those powerful beings that have the option of rising above human suffering keep running right back towards it. Yes there is something in Enlightenment. But there is also something in Human experience of Love and Suffering.

I thought about , what if I was like Q in Star Trek and had the ability to stay in my children's childhood forever. But I would know that was fake. I would need to see them grow too wouldn't I? And to be immortal if they were mortal would be even worse too wouldn't it? And so although Suffering that comes with love is painful.. it is not just necessary.. it is a beautiful part of the experience.

We constantly seek Light. To be faster get as fast as it, get faster than it. To travel through time, to be superhuman, to hear and see far, travel distantly, be as hard as stone, as cold as ice, as hot as the sun, be able to do things our ancestors could not. And yet the Universe is full of unliving things able to endure extreme temperatures and speeds and collisions because, they are unliving.
We seek Light constantly, in religion, in technology in our fantasies. Because the Light is the answer or the Light has the answer. But did we ever think that Light has sought us out to find the answer.
If light had a soul (again you can't even prove that humans have souls so don't argue whether Light does.) perhaps Light saw that there might be something more and that light is seeking the answer by going into plants or the first single celled organisms (don't argue how the came to be just that now they are) and that light goes through the whole process of life, of suffering and love, of human consciousness to seek the same answer, while we are seeking light?

Korean Barbecue

I think I know how a lot of white people feel when they go to a Chinese restaurant for the first time now. During our stay in Jamaica Queens, we went over to Flushing to go to a Korean Barbecue place she had heard of via the internet. After some stressful 45 minute traffic through what GPS said was a 5 minute, as well as an eye opening drive through Downtown Jamaica Queens (It so happened I went to High school with someone from that neighborhood, and despite numerous discussions of it seeing such a long street of Fancy store next to old country type kiosks for block after block after block was definitely educational. I think I recalled him saying that this area was much bigger than Boston's Downtown. Well it definitely was much much much bigger and crowded and full of commerce than Downtown Boston ever was, because it's an empty shell now. Many residents, like my friend, are immigrants from Jamaica, but the name, like Jamaica Plain, is actually from a Native American language and is coincidence.) That neighborhood would have been an interesting stop but it was not our destination. We got to the Korean town and were equally as in awe.
But we couldn't find parking. So we ended up going to the restaurant across the street from the internet suggested place because they had free parking with the restaurant.
Now every Korean that I have ever met, either through school or in Massachusetts, usually spoke English and spoke it well. Also, most Boston Chinese restaurants have people that speak at least restaurant English. And I suppose, if they don't speak English well enough the conversation goes into Chinese and honestly it has come to a point where I sometimes forget how much English a person understands, because if I have had a conversation with them in Chinese I... well in a weird way I have managed to get the languages merged into a thought so that I get all that mixed up.

Anyway, I don't know any Korean, and was having trouble understanding the accented English. I ended up understanding what was said, long after the conversation had taken place, plus I was doing the wrong things. I wasn't sure when to do what, or how, or whether this bowl of liquid was soup or sauce.. or whatever. And when Grace tried to ask, one of the servers actually started to speak to her in Mandarin. And I it was only then that I understood that the cold liquid was a type of soup. So basically the whole experience was loads of fun. It was really something new as well as tasty. The place wasn't very crowded, and the kids just kept plying with their Christmas cars they brought with them and were also entertained by the charcoal and flames at the table anyway. Plus any noise they made was drowned out by the very drunk very loud middle aged Korean woman behind us yelling at her Caucasian companion about this or that. It was great. Expensive, but when will we get to do that again? Probably not for a couple years.
The meal ended with some sort of rice drink which we tried to buy a version of at H mart. Similar but not as good as the restaurant version.
Oh well.

Strawberry Surprise

Visiting my relatives was one of the few times I felt I could relax. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my cousin and my aunt actually work in a preschool. So Taking care of my children was not a problem for them. Plus the house really was more or less child proof. Basically I haven't drank alcohol since Jonah was born. But I also usually get drunk around Christmas. And I hadn't visited for Christmas.. again since Jonah was born. So my cousin opened a bottle of Port. Which happened to taste very nice, which meant I didn't really taste how much alcohol I was drinking. Plus after drinking some, well I guess your decision making goes downhill from there so where as if you were sober you would know you had enough, when you are less sober, you are less likely to know that you have had enough. I am also a lightweight. But there was a distinct moment when the drinking and merriment which included discussions about the two things you aren't supposed to talk about (but which I love talking about) religion and politics went from great to well disaster.

"So I want to make a drink for you. It's called a Strawberry surprise." said my cousin.

I shrugged. I think we had already written strange messages on each others arms by this point.

In any case I was handed a drink and when I drank it I noticed a strong peppery taste as well as a peppery burning on my lips.

"Do you like it?"

I shrugged again. It wasn't port. And then I noticed that people wer coughing and starting to run out of the room and yelling at my cousin for being an idiot. Apparently a "strawberry surprise" involves pepper spray. And everyone sober started clearing out, and Grace was telling me that Jonah was trying to cough and throw up. Luckily even though it was near the winter solstice, it was 70 degrees outside so that's where we all went. I sobered up briefly to watch my children but once we were outside my other cousin (she is more responsible than her brother) was watching the kids again, and really nothing was wrong as long as everyone was away from the cloud of pepper spray. I learned that being drunk dulls the effect if Pepper Spray severely because anyone drinking did not really feel it's effects. That's good to know if you happen to carry Pepper Spray as a self defense device. (I do not)
 The situation calmed down so I felt I could enjoy my buzz again and started doing Kung Fu. It was nice, but then I felt dehydrated and then sick. Then it was time to put the kids to bed and later  I found at that Pepper Spray also has a dye in it which is probably not for ingestion.


"Did you taste any Strawberry?" my cousin asked me at some point.

"No just the peppery taste."

"That's the surprise."

"What is."

"There is no strawberry. That's why it's called a Strawberry surprise."

"Ahhhh."
Well, I'm not doing that again.

First Night

Last night the Kung Fu Federation performed for the First Night Procession. the team had members from Wong Keurng and Woo Ching White Crane working together as one team. The setting up and all that was a alot of work, but the parade itself was a lot of fun. A big rush. The funny thing is I'd never gone to that parade in years past. Maybe as a child but I don't remember. I always assumed that the First Night stuff was later than it was, or that you had to pay. But the parade is free. Maybe I just wasn't interested before. In any case it was a lot of wild fun. People were going up and putting stickers on other people's faces, we shot of confetti and got quite a work out on the parade route. I felt like there was a lot of running. And since it was two teams working as one, it was a very social event where we got to interact with and meet new people. It kind of felt like the first few times I had done lion dance.
Now if I could do something like that everyday I would probably be in really good shape.

I was going to bring Noah to this event, and I'm glad I didn't because the setting up of things ended up being several hours of waiting. But at the end there were fireworks and it would be nice if Noah could have been there for that. I guess in the future I could go with Noah to just the end part of the parade. But then we couldn't be in the parade. I actually saw a girl and her mother from Grace's team (Gund Kwok) in the crowd and my lion head went over to them.
"You look tired," said the mother, "I think you should put her in."
Sure! But we were at the end of the parade anyway.

Well this was a lot of fun and we got to be part of Menino's last first night. We'll see what next year brings.