stress slacking

I feel like what I was doing the first week is completely different then what I am doing now. I am working from home... but I have been slacking on my creative endeavors. I haven't even been doing much TV watching. I guess I have been focusing on working out more than anything. I have also re established KungbFu class. Meditation Mondays, Tai Chi Tuesdays, Wang Wednesdays ( Christie Wang's work out session on the Hydrow. The kids will hurt themselves if they use the machine. Other kids can do it but my kids are bot ready for that) Thursdays are a regular external class.... Training Thursdays. Fun Fridays. ( we are gonna do energy guns and Ninja stars.  I need to get protective eye wear. Slacker Saturdays ( ie nothing for now...or maybe we can do Silly Saturdays or something like that. ) and then Salute to Sun Sundays. Just do the Yoga Salute to Sun a bunch of times... that's kind of Churchy right?    Today every time I sit down or try to have my own thought the kids are doing something. I mean they were good when I was working but.... well we'll see. It looks like I have to schedule my blog entries and reading time and writing the movie script I had an idea for. In fact I had said they were gonna help me with that....we'll see. 

disconnect

Does anyone else feel like there is a real disconnect between what I am experiencing in life, basically as a frog at the bottom of the well, and what I am seeing on the news? The news comes from New York which is not that far away. And even local news.... I mean I feel like... okay we are almost good. It could be time to go outside now....but then I read. Ot only about deaths buy the way in which it happens and I am like, hell no.  We are not leaving the house.  Even if we somehow catch it, then we will handle it all here live or die. Because it really doesn't look like there is much they can do for you anyway. In China they had Hazmat suits on... but the doctors and nurses in NY are wearing a flimsy looking mask and no goggles...almostbas if nobody in this country was following the South China Morning post or countless other online media covering China... which had video and subtitles. Maybe they could be considered unreliable I don't know, but better than  nothing. It was in English too btw. I am realizing that no...even if we open up... I might have to put my foot down and really say that no we are going to be the "crazy ones" and just not leave the house. I am also seeing that what I called social distancing is what others would have called quarantine. And what they call social distancing....I think I would have considered to be just normal life.

ye jook

Before when I heard about eating ye jook meaning that you practiced real kung fu I thought it meant you were so bad ass that you practiced all day and all night. But now it means something ih ngbdifgerent. Yes I had time to practice King Fu earlier in the day when my kids were asking me questions and I was doing other things and washing dishes and eating and all that. I had time...  but did I have focus? Even though right now in the middle of the noght6I am not practicing particularly hard... I feel that I am at least actually able to practice. Now granted, I could have played caked with my kids and worked some sort of play time into training the way I so often did on the playground when they were smaller. Even though that practice isnt as focused it may even be better because it would be dealing with another person and be more dynamic. It may even be better than practicing alone in the dark and not ne6trying that hard and being limited by the space and all that. But practicing in the dark when everyone else is asleep has a different mental feeling. I mean just compare this little writing session with the two sentences I tried to string together earlier in day light when I "had time."

Goals

I told myself I was going to practice Kung Fu several times a day. To tell the truth now that I have more time, I am definitely doing less. I am even doing less than I was doing when we first starting staying in the house. It is like it takes an effort to be someone that is staying in the house all day... well sort of. At any rate, I am actually going to do more reading and practicing today and not rely as much on Facebook or other devices, (this is what I say as I blog) But I feel like it is important for me to write down my thoughts everyday, just as I told my children to do. Mostly I have been talking with my family which I guess is a good thing, and that is why I haven't "gotten as much done"

I need to write even if it is about nothing, just to remember that I know how to do it I suppose. I am looking at this and seeing that I have not even filed a page. Mostly because I was interupted several times while writing. So maybe I have to choose another time  to do this in the day. I have written all this and said very little so perhaps for today, I am done with this and will talk to my wife instead.

rabbit Ram head

I did the first coat of paper mache over this creature I made. It has a horn like a Kei Lun and Nian. But it also has bunny ears and ram horns. It kind if looks evil and a. It like a fertility pagan demon with sharp teeth. A little like Seshomaru actually. I didnt want to use flour for paper mache because in this time of social distance quarantine flour is very valuable. We use it to make bread. Instead I used some wood glue which I had bought to patch up the drum I had which had cracked a bit. I may have made the mixture too watery... but I'm getting better at it and am confident the next head I make with paper mache wont have a paper mache problem. Here are the next two projects I am planning after this head is done. I want to make a lion head. Real sized. But I need more bamboo. I don't want to have to get cheap with the bamboo strips. But also.... I want to make the whole head entirely out of bamboo. That is to say, it will be a fram that is so reinforced that it won't require paper mache. This just means putting more strips and weaving them into the frame. I also want to heat some bamboo poles to bend them to be the main parts of the frame in addition to thinner bamboo strips. I am sure this will all be more difficult than I imagine but I hope it will like cool and be freaking strong.

My Kung Fu digital Neighborhood

I just finished watching A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with Tom Hanks. It makes me want to watch all the old episodes of Mr. Roger's neighborhood and also read the article the movie is based on with Noah and Jonah. I think it would be cool to do Kung Fu from a Mt. Rogers's experience. I had thought of the idea before when changing from my regular shoes at the old Moh Goon into Kung Fu shoes. But back then I thought of it more as a joke. I feel like I could do an approximation of such a show at my house where instead of Trolley and that sort of thing I have lion heads and drums. Now in my kind it would also be cool to stop by places and have people that stop by who speak Taishanese and want to share their stories etc. You know, people that used to stop by Moh Goon. Even drug addicts. Actually in Boston, there were many types of people who would stop by from homeless and robbers and thieves and politicians to Scientists, Professors and entrepreneurs. Jamaica Plain also had very interesting people at the playground. I also have an idea for a screen play ok n my mind that I think I really should put effort into now. To finish it and craft it and sharpen it.

Advanced class?

So for Kung Fu the kids decided not only to have separate classes but to alternate days. This works for me. I put on a mask to teach Shao cause although its unlikely I caught anything from the package pass, and it's highly likely if I did then we are all screwed anyway.... I dont know I just put it on. Yesterday with Jonah we did only the first four standing g basics and only 20 each, but we got down real low in horse stance to do them. For waling basics I just did Chuen pow cup cause those three moves were always the famous ones in Taishan. Then we did Luk Lik real slow. 六 力。Cool, keep forgetting I can type on Chinese as long as I can figure out the Pin yin. That actually took about an hour believe it or not. We took breaks and stuff though. With Noah today I had him do basics freestyle one his own. And he has gotten worse partially because of all the screen time affecting posture, but also he doesnt do well on the spot. He does better when doing the moves himse6when no o e is watching and these past few years he has preferred weapons. So we argued cause he just doesnt take coaching well. But then we moved on to
 十字 and I worked with him on drilling some of the moves in a striking format. Then he did a stick form and a sword form. Part of Guan Gong do, and then some milk tai chi with some light grappling l ok ke drills and then from a more Yoga like perspective just to get balance. I think we did all that in 30 minutes actually.

A package passed

I was reading outside when I got a UPS package. The delivery man was trying to be nice by handing it to me and I was trying to be nice by accepting it in my hand...butwhen we passed it there was a moment when we were both like, "Damn it why did we just do that?" He said to himself tand I only caught some of it " Why am I risking my life when that's not even what he wants?"


I cut the package and dumped it out in the house them threw away the outside. Showered, bleached everything I touched....I mean he was wearing gloves so it is minimal risk.... but it was unnecessary. I am now wearing a facemask in my house but it's kind if pointless. I won't be reading outside in the front any more. Grace said I should have just sprinted up the driveway and then yelled to drop the package...I dontnknow I just figured he would want to do that but then when he handed me the package I just instinctively took it.

distance learning

My kids did their assigments...  I think. But the truth is, they interact with kids and then ask questions and then we have conversations and that's how they really learn. I tried to impose a schedule even when it's something like, go play outside they don't listen to me. Plus my allergies or something is starting to kick in, and I am not going to spend so much time yelling at them. They will just do whatever they want anyway. The main thing is to keep them quiet so Grace can work from home and make that money. But they are wasting their time. They could be learning so much and crafting their skills at writing and drawing and Kung Fu. But they don't. I could teach them dulcimer too but I'm just not going to bother lugging it out of the basement if they aren't even go ok ng to meet me 30% if the way. 

Quarantine

I read that children should really be writing h about their experience during this Coronavirus time every day just so we can get a glimpse into how this changed society. To be honest, we live in a neighborhood that was quarantined anyway, where you never got within 20 feet of someone anyway. The main this we had to stop doing was sending the kids to school. Right after Trump's speech where he banned travel from Europe I realized we had all been a little late in shutting stuff down. So I pulled my kids from school right then. Luckily it just took the weekend for everyone to catch up and I don't look too much like that carzybguy with tinfoil around his head. I was thinking if I still lived in Boston in the projects... quarantining would actually still be easy as long as I could walk or bike to work. Facemasks would have to be worn of course and I'm not sure why people are so against them. They help even if it was just regular sickness tou are trying to stave off.  Or prevent form you your self spreading.

kei Lun

Stayed up late making a Kei Lun. I used a basketball hoop as a base. 8 had gotten a bunch of these from a metal sculptor's place in Jamaica Plain. He told me to take as many as I wanted. My wife had wanted me to throw them away many times. Initially they were going to he used to make drums. I stripped the old bamboo sticks that I had been using to teach kids Kung Fu at Chinese school because they were cracking and because a friend and another Sifu had bought nicer rattan sticks. I fashioned them into a kei lun frame pretty much the same way the real artisans do it, except that I did not always have enough of the bamboo strips to do it properly and I also didn't really know what I was doing. Instead if paper mache I chose to use duct tape. The draw backs of that is painting duct tape might be harder than painting paper. Then again, maybe I just need to do a few more coats of paint. It doesn't look as good as the last kei lun I made, but it is much lighter.

Thoughts on Abigail Hing Wen's, "Loveboat Taipei"

So I just started reading this new book

Love Boat Taipei

I saw it for free at the library, so technically the version I am reading is not the final copy. I almost didn't pick it up because I have sons not daughters, and I never went on Loveboat, though I did go to Taiwan when I was 14 for Chinese Dulcimer band.. yeah not the same thing, as a friend of mine then later went on the "Loveboat" Tour. I think by the time I was old enough to go they stopped doing that tour.

I thought for some reason Grace had gone on it but turns out she was just going to Taiwan on her own during that time. I picked up as a joke. I figured I could give it to a neighbor. I thought, "This is not my type of book really." and "I might enjoy this book, but really I shouldn't be reading it."


Then I started reading it.

Holy crap this book is awesome.

Why?

To tell the truth I usually shirk away from this sort of Asian American Narrative. ie. the one that does not include Lion Dance, Guan Yu, Gambling, Chinatown.... I don't know stuff I can relate to.


In NJ people often talk about various Chinese School Conferences that happened in Boston and I reflect on the fact that there were the type of Chinese that I hung out with (who didn't see me as Chinese necessarily) and occasionally we would be hired by or work with these other Chinese from the suburbs, who often had a higher number of mixes among them, those guys over there, see them? Say Hi... but that's it.

I also have no idea what it's like to have a Chinese mom. My mom was white.

I also have no idea what it's like to be a young Asian American girl turning into a woman especially one that is Chinese, has parents with accents, and yet doesn't speak Chinese. I mean... that's Grace I guess. But still trying to figure that out.

Basically this book brought all that into this first person world with just a few words. Reading it I'm like in that world and feeling, "Ahh sh.t so this is what this is like."

I mean it would hard to be Chinese without the lion dance, incense, stories, plethora of music and movies to fall back on... I mean f that sh.t.

The only time I had to experience that was when first moving to NJ. And I almost killed myself. And shoot I kept seeing posts about young Asian American girls killing themselves in the town. I mean I didn't, I got through it, but that's as an adult and knowing that other stuff exists out there.

Anyway, don't just think this main character has it easy.  Ever Wong.



At the same time, ( I mean this is all stuff from the first two chapters so whatever to spoilers)... As a parent I would be like, "You're going the doctor route and dance can be your back up. You got the scholarship.. so that's that . duh."

I also feel my dad would have been laid back. Or chiu been. He wouldn't be saying what career I had to do. I seriously doubt it. But that's a whole other story.

My main thing is I think everyone should read this book, because I have a feeling this book is going to make me a better parent. Cause I am struggling with how to not raise.. but be with my kids. Cause I don't really get them. I got them when we were in Boston. We were on the same page. i was taking them to where I grew up. But now... I don't know.

And I'm in between Ever's Parents and Ever. So if there is a gap between me and my kids... imagine that gap between Ever's parents and Ever.

Plus I feel like I am teaching these kids... kids like Ever...

It's like required reading... and I almost put the book back on the shelf.

Six strengths form

Okay having met a bunch of White Crane people from San Francisco and New York... and not mentioned or talked too much about the fact that I also practice White Crane it might sound strange that I am now going to write a post about this form. The reason why I didn't want to tell everyone I do White Crane per se is because I am pretty sure the forms we do with the exception of one or maybe two are different, and that can lead to all sorts of arguments and this or that which I would just rather not get into.

Interestingly, my Si Hing that I learned form is no longer teaching this form, the basic form when I learned to the young lion dance children.

And to tell the truth, I had dropped this form from my curriculum for a long time as well because Adults tend to hurt their knees, teens tend to hurt their shoulders, I can't even do the frog stance properly, and while small children don't hurt themselves even if they do the form wrong... they also can't necessarily fight with it that quickly, which used to bother me.

However recently after taking a month of BJJ ((really only 4 classes, or 3.5 cause I twisted my ankle on the last class) I saw a lot of the techniques in this form employed in grappling, where I had originally thought of these moves as strikes that went into grappling... but I had focused on the striking aspect of that move.

A while ago I had said I would reintroduce this form into my class. It is a fantasy to think I will have the kids doing the moves as grappling drills or push hands drills (Well maybe not) but in My mind I will do that. The main reason I wanted to bring the form back was because I realized it is easier to remember, and some of the moves help with the foundation stances that the kids are now having trouble with in terms of spacing for the fighting forms I have already taught them, and which they enjoy doing much more than hand forms.

Since I am going to start teaching it again I figured I should start practicing it again, and so I started doing that tonight. And I decided I would do this form as an internal form... because I also figured that if it is taught that way, like Tai Chi, there will be less chance of injury. Plus again, it is easier to remember than our MLJ Tai Chi form. (And yes this is different than other White Crane Schools but its the nomenclature we use for a particular form which may be unique to our Boston School. (Now being taught in NJ lol)

I didn't do much... but getting real low and doing the form real slow felt good. Like I should do more of this, and stretch out my hips more, and I did some Yoga stuff in between and could see some potential Drills with the opening that would focus on pushing instead of striking. We'll see.

Knock Knock

That's the sound of my son waking me up in the middle of the night because he can't sleep.
I can imagine reading parenting blogs where the response is "Awww honey do you want me to " do this that or the other thing.
My response as I was jolted from dreams was,
"What!?"
"Baba I can't sleep..."
"Well what the hell do you want me to do about it?"
"I don't know do you have any suggestions?" he said crying. You see his biggest fear is waking up without having had enough sleep. But for someone with such a fear, you would think he would not stall so much and make going to bed be like pulling teeth, I tried the whole story telling thing. But how can I really make you go upstairs for the purposes of going to sleep? I cannot really make you brush your teeth or take a shower either. I mean I could sort of... but that would be called abusive. So all I can really do is coax and explain and well....

I remind. The kid is in 4th grade. I was more annoyed by the tears.



"There is nothing I can do... if you can't sleep just lie there. Now both of us are awake."

So while I lay awake thinking about this instead of sleeping I realized something.... I had done the same thing as a kid. In fact, funny story I had woken up with my stomach hurting. It was cause I was hungry but I just didn't realize it. I thought it was some other problem. So my mother suggested sleepily that I put some milk on my stomach. So I literally did that, instead of drinking milk... which is what my mother meant. So that.. going back to bed, explaining, more wtf moments, taking a shower again... yeah. But I was much younger than 4th grade. I mean 4th grade your your own person. You think your like an adult.....


So then I realized also that when I was older I also couldn't fall asleep. So I would practice Kung Fu.
well more on that another time

Clahk Doom Chahng

When I hear the drum beat, I want to hear that deep sound that fills the body. Hitting the  side and coming out of your guts and your chest like a strike pushing the spirit of everyone on the street to to move together. Of course the modern stuff will still bring me running down a street I don't know just to watch a team I don't know do moves I don't know.

When I see the head move I want to see that deep hard stance that isn't just connected to the ground, but the body is connected to the stance and the head tight with the body with those hard lively fierce movements made for the look of those hard cheek bones of bamboo.

Like lightning striking right through to earth's core shocked by the clahk doom doom of the drum with the Cha and the Gong, playing not banging, coaxing out the metal crashing sound in music not noise.

But any moves and beats from masters or teens or children will make me come chasing for a look and pushing against strangers too. As long as the spirit is there.


When I see someone just talk about lion dance and they have that artistic feeling, that essence, without the head but in my imagination I can see their past performance from the street and from their eyes it makes me itch to pick up the drum sticks and play the accompanying beat like a possessed madman, or pick up the head and choi chiang like the same, with kei lun bo that starts and stops like wild sprints shocking children and adults into believe that the bamboo and paper might just have transformed into flesh and breath and blood.

But I will look forward to a workshop that I do by myself for children too.