The Choice

This parenting trick has been introduced to me several times and I have started to use it. The way it works is when your kid is flipping out, rebelling, rioting, screaming and causing a ruckus over something stupid or nothing at all, you give your kid a choice to make them feel like they are in control of their destiny, to make them feel that indeed they are the ones in control.
For instance, this morning Noah did not want to go to school, he wanted to play with blocks. But we had to go to school now which meant he had to put his shoes on. Rioting and protest ensued.
So I used the Choice.
"Do you want to put your right shoe on first or your left shoe?"
He happily picked one of these options not noticing the fact that he wasn't making a real choice between say, going to school and not going to school. He had to put on his shoes. He had no choice. But by being given the option of which shoe to put on first, he felt that he indeed had a choice and was in control. A willing participant in this family who takes an active role in the decisions the family makes and the direction we are going.

I can't help but equate this to our government. We choose between Republicans and Democrats, or we can choose not to vote or vote for a party that won't win. But it's like we are all Noah, those in power have given us a choice. And indeed we as a whole are much happier than people in China, who do not feel that they have a choice. I'm not saying that ohhh we are being lied to, revolt etc. Because as bad as things are in this country, comparatively, they are pretty good. People are starving. But when weren't there people starving. Should we work to make things better? Of course. But I'm not really about destroying the system we have. We have to work within it. One way to make it better, and to make the people (those not in power) feel less frustrated and less like rioting is to give them better choices. Give us more options. Perhaps, yes increase the minimum wage. Make us feel like we can accomplish something and we will be happy. I've seen a lot of stuff about Martin Luther King Jr. because of the anniversary of the I have a dream speech, adn some of his more radical ideas too. But are they that radical? It's not asking those in power to hand over their power or give up their power. It's not asking those with money to give up all of their wealth or to try being poor or even to try being middle class. The rich will remain rich. The Powerful will retain their power. The main difference is that poor people, vulnerable people, and common people, will feel that they worked toward something, and got a result. They will feel empowered. But they won't actually have power. What they will have is some happiness and a sense of belonging. They will calm down. Society will be better. So in the end, everyone benefits. So c'mon aristocracy, lobbyists, people who run the country for real. Stop abusing your children (us, the people) and neglecting them. Stop using touch love, or disownment, imprisonment and other sht that has been shown not to work. Use the new parenting skills and use them well. Distraction, giving us a choice, allowing us to be heard, letting us finish our sentences, letting us learn through play, focusing on enrichment and education instead of time outs and beatings. It will benefit you as much as us.