Poems: Chinese Elysium

Joy!
A belly of Beef Chow Mein
And hot Soy milk
Sugar high and tongue still burnt
Riding my bike
Slowly home
Like an old man
with that February Feeling
of New England Chinese New Year nearing
Though it's only January.

What is this joy I feel?
A Melancholy joy
A happiness on condition
with strings attached.

I have not felt this since high school.
The strong emotion of true hate and true love
But over a Chinatown meal
and a change in weather?

All this time I thought poverty or boarding school
or teenage angst to be the wellspring of
my strong emotions.
Perhaps I'm manic depressant (but at the same time?)
Or maybe it's the MSG mixed with sugar.
I no longer have the tolerance I once had.

Flying past
green grass
of the southwest corridor
green is lined with balls of icy snow.

Elysium!
Chinese Elysium!
Russell Crowe
Told me so.
In a speech in a movie last night.

I believe him on this warming winter day!
I fear not!
In fact right now I don't give a fuck about anything... but in a good way
And I simultaneously care deeply about everything.
Every green blade of grass
As if I am passing through a moment of eternity
and this is it.
This is my presence and all there is.

The burning of the tongue makes the sweet soy milk sweeter.
The weird sadness I feel makes the joy more joyful.
I breathe in and go with the joy
I let it flow
And pedal slow
Like an old man that I am not.