Meditation and the Presence of God

So I was reading this Chi Gung Book and I was really surprised how religious te context could be for some of these Qi Gong exercises they were talking about. The exercises in the book were similar to what you see all the old Mainland Chinese types doing in the morning for health. I'm not talking about Tai Chi. I'm talking about flicking your ears massaging your neck... this type of stuff. To my Sifu this stuff was not even Chi Gung. It was just stuff for health. But then the book took a turn off health to divinity. Like at the end of life you could "Rainbow" and basically ascend into heaven. Woah. Like a Jedi or Jesus. I really never thought of Qi Gong in this religious context, especially  those exercises. I mean I guess I believed in enlightenment. But in the end, the Buddha died. In my mind your spirit lives on.. but not fading away, the body turning into energy.

I guess I always practiced Chi Gung more like an atheist.

But of course there was a spiritual side to my meditation.. but this was meditation by myself. In teh school as a martial practice, that was one way, and by myself almost like a prayer that was another way.

So when I say Chi I'm not talking about spirit. I'm essentially talking about blood flow or what feels like blood flow but may be different types of endorphin released.. etc.

However, recently I've been shaking much less. Part of this is I have less Chi and part of this is I have more control. But I have gotten to the point where very quickly, almost immediately I enter into this state where the top of my brain feels tickled like. It's just a cool sensation.

I only mention it because that is something that I stably have and it is normal to me and it is not what I am about to talk about.


Last night, while meditating because I could sleep, and maybe these was because of lack of sleep or whatever, I had an almost spiritual experience.

In fact I realized as I was having it that if I had been praying to God instead of just meditating I would totally have taken this sensation for being in God's presence or hearing his voice or something like that. However I was not praying. If I had been praying with words and that was my thing, maybe I would have heard words. But I wasn't.

It was fleeting. It was a moment and I couldn't get it back. It felt like a cloud passing over head, but it was inside my mind.

Because I was thinking in terms of religion, and because I had watched some debate about whether the Universe is actually some sort of Computer Program simulation being run by a four year old and if THAT is god.. well after the feeling a few images went through my mind. I felt God's love. Not God's love for me.. but my love and understanding for god. I'm not saying I believe in that simulation theory, but is it is something like that. If there is a being outside of our universe that looks on our reality as a painting and can therefore touch different points of it at the same time.. that being would be outside time and therefore easily be the Alpha and Omega.

The debaters mostly physicists and mathematicians as well one philosopher (this was hosted by Neil DeGrasse Tyson) mostly argued that if God exists in this way, as a four year old playing with blocks, destroying the city they made, he is not worthy of worship any more than your own four year old.

I'm just explaining that this idea was in my head.

So I had this sensation. This fleeting moment that felt like God was revealed to me and the image in my mind was Jonah smashing a city he had built and another one laughing and kissing me. I felt at one with several Religions at once. With Christianities idea of god the son. Except that Jesus is a metaphor for every human being. And that goes to Hinduisms idea that each human is a microcosm of Atman.

But with evil like ISIS and all that and destruction... people can hate God for that but instead I felt love for this God that was a four year old child. I didn't blame him for his playful destruction as painful as it was. It was a deep feeling. It is interesting how this is the opposite of what most people tend to feel in a religious experience.

But this sensation, while meditating had nothing to do with Chi really. Nor was I having a particularly strong meditation. I had kept stopping because I was tired. I did not used to stop like that. I thought of the early Christian Mystics that wrote of their frustration or peeking at a moment of being in the presence of God.

The thing is I will not chase that moment as they did, trying to meditate and fast for most hours of the day and only sleeping for two hours.

But I did want to acknowledge to myself that I did have it.. and also that it's not about a level or Chi or mastery or holiness. I have my own faith and belief and I do practice Chi Gung (though not as disciplined as I should) but that doesn't make me superhuman or anything. Maybe I was just imagining that feeling. But I will tell you that I do believe what I felt had some significance. But I also know that this is separate from doing these moves or those moves.

The Chi that I use has totally to do with the physical. I use it for strikes. I'm just pointing out that the spiritual, though you can blend the two, is another aspect and it doesn't mean I believe I can throw Hadokan's or whatever. But it doesn't mean that even if I had this sensation because of some release of chemical in my brain, that it doesn't exist.

Most people who I have heard who have had a much stronger  and longer lasting experience where they thought they touched God, also laughed while they said it because they were Agnostic. The experience came from Marijuana actually. But it only happened once. They laughed but I didn't laugh at them as I know that others would... but I feel like you can acknowledge the experience without laughing at it or without starting to preach that you have the one true answer either.