Emotions

I have been feeling a lot if strong emotions recently. A lot of people who k ow me from my childhood either think I am extremely emotional, or extremely stoic. In the past, feelings were easy to express through various forms of art. Whether it was music, dance, kung fu, painting, or laughing and talking loudly and unreservedly with friends. I'm not sure if it is because I haven't been using some of these outlets, but all feelings seem to be boiling around in my mind and going toward only one direction. It's not that this wasn't true before. Even with all those outlets But making giant me I pun heads out of paper mage right now seems like somewhat of a bad idea. Why? The house is so full of stuff, that I do not want to fill it with more stuff. Sometimes I play piano, (I never really studied it) and I sing. But I realize that a good deal of the songs I like are sas and do not have a positive message. So I'd rather they not be my mantra. I write, because that can easily be stored online. No clutter. But I think I am longing for messy acrylic paint with other people to paint with, or belting it out in Gospel choir. Maybe even with all of this, the very strong feelings will not necessarily disappear, but at least there will be some release. It might also be that I don't have that adrenaline of teaching a Kung Fu class. I try meditating, which calms me down. But I have a hunger for something else. A hunger that makes me feel like I can do anything. The goal is to do the most positive thing I suppose.