Beginner at the Beach

I was practicing Kung Fu at a beach in Quincy while watching my kids. The stones really made me think that, yeah okay, I'm not saying a fight here wouldn't go to the ground. But ideally, if it did, you would just make the other person roll on the uncomfortable rocks while you remained on top.

I got down into a really low stance and did Sup Ji, the first form. Then I did it left handed because Sifu Ed Woodruff had mentioned that in Hung Gar they actually required you to do one of the forms left handed. While this was something mentioned in my training, it wasn't required in order to move on to the next forms. In fact, I ended up skipping a punches of forms and filling them in later.

 I don't know if I'm just much worse than I was, or if I usually didn't get down so low or what. But man I was pooped doing these forms... and I know that people looking at me would think I was a beginner.

I recalled doing this form in Highschool and how whenever smeone looked at me, I would do my form fancier and faster so that I wouldn't look like I sucked.

Now, years later, I was looking like a nube doing the same form. But I was enjoying it. And I realized that it's not like you really need to teach a lot of Kung Fu to an individual necessarily.

I also thought, as I was getting tired, of a conversation I had in the playground with a woman who had doen Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. She had talked about stopping the practice for a month and then going back to it and being totally worn out. I thought, Of course martial arts is better done in pairs against someone. But the forms are something you can do on your own. Maybe people saw that certain people who did forms were able to become pretty good and so that was how the forms became the main focus of the practice. After all you look at Rickson Gracie in "Choke" and he is doing Yoga and flexibilty drills and all sorts of other stuff on his own. Now in group of jiu jitsu practitioners where everyone is equal but he stands out, they may look at that aspect and say 'That's why he is better.' and so that becomes the focus of the practice.

Also, rolling aroun don the ground is how children fight. So when all kids do this as a base, and then they start to learn Kung Fu and things change a little, the ground fighting will sort of be taken out of the Martial arts side of the practice.

Of course there was a Hakka form of Kung Fu that was all Ground fighting. In fact it started out on the ground. Though I believe they must have been fast moving too and not lying on their back they way you saw the Gracie's do in some of the fights where Sakuraba just wailed on them.  That is not a good strategy, especially if there are many people. However, that doesn't mean you can't fight multiple people fro the ground with other techniques.

All this went through my head. As well as the fact that the beach is a fun place to practice. And the environment can teach you about your form by being rocky or smooth or by the water providing resistance.

I only practiced a little, not a lot, because after all my purpose for being there was to be with my children.

Making a Qilin

When I first had kids I really had a separation anxiety from being deprived of my Moh Goon life. I made a lion head out of boxes. My friend laughed when he came over. "Adam do you miss the school?"

The funny thing is I just did the same thing tonight. Only it was a Qilin. I also have a Dragon?Qilin type thing I made before. It didn't turn ut great, but it is salvageable. The first could ones I made ended up being crap. Not a strong enough base because I tried to be cheap. BUt I have to remind myself that whole rolls of masking tape are still cheaper than buying the heads.

I realize that my goals, of making the Kung Fu training more engaging, are actually thing si have been doing for a long time. I had one student who ended up at one point being the only one showing up to class. He had trouble focusing so honestly, I created a lot of games and drills. Hitting pads that I made out of newspapare and duct tape. Hitting them with sticks like jousting. Kicking a soccer ball back and forth.. All sorts of drills.

I am having flash backs to all sorts of martial arts memories I had before I even started at Moh Goon. I would meditate and I would practice just from watching this movie or whatever. Tonight I practiced running in the dark and then doing Kung Fu when nobody was around, and then jogging again when people passed by. I think by to my college years when I did this in the woods. And I think to my friends father, an Uncle (though not by blood) who said that Kung Fu learned in a room is not the same as in nature. You have to do it with the wind and rain.


The first time I did Kung Fu sprinting in the woods I would fall down all the time, tripping on roots.

And even before I started doing that, even in High school, I would practice in the woods.

Had I never gone to Moh Goon, I probably still would have done these things. However, being fornally trained gives me a wide repertoire of things to practice.

You could argue I am past my prime and I should have been fighting in my 20's. My Sifu actually said that by the time he was 20... he had already "Da gaw sai" fought all of the Kung Fu out basically.

But I guess as a child I was never really the fighter type. But still I have (a perhaps unrealistic) dream of doing at least one MMA fight.

Also in the meantime, I think I should learn Jiu JItsu (because people seem to do this without getting hurt too badly regularly) I had gone the boxing route before, at Peter Welch Boxing Club. They said that they were goin gto do MMA too, and there were MMA fighters that went in their for striking. But even though I didn't get super hurt there. I did see black a couple of times. And all the studies are showing that's not good.


Basically, I have shown that I can practice anywhere and through my videos, this blog, and my various classes I can teach anywhere. I just need people who want to learn. Which means I have to recruit if necessary.

But in order for my art not to become stagnant. I mean tonight I ended up doing a lot of traditional drills that I realized would probably work against people shooting in and grappling. However A) it would not be a safe way to do it (unless you were doing it in the octagon) and B) I have nobody to try it on. I would rather lose many times and not hurt the other person (and not get hurt) than  use these techniques and hurt them badly (and get in trouble)

They aren't Eye gouges or anything. It's just I don't have control of those techniques. So that's why Jiu jistu is good. (in theory. Yeah in practice but really it depends. I'm realizing after adding some of that stuff into my practice that all those techniques are like any Kung Fu technique. It doesn't necessarily play out like that in a fight. Just look at the fights that "prove" BJJ is better. And also look at the ones where BJJ lost.)

You can make excuses about MMA's rules or whatever. But rules are good. They keep people alive. And it feels weird to not be participating in MMA as a martial artist. And the path to MMA is Jiu jitsu because that's who set it up.

But I should also be like Helio Gracie. Taking all comers. Not because I am so good. In all honesty my time has passed. But nobody every learned anything by winning all the time. Winning just proves what you parctice is right. When you lose you have an opportunity to adapt change and improve. And before I would always think about legalities when I might get into a fight. Like it was a life and death fight. And that's true, if someone just challenges you on the street to a fight that might involve things other than just martial arts. That is dangerous. And yes you may have to kill them. But in a friendly martial arts fight.. yeah it is dangerous, but mostly because of Ego, because you would rather risk the other person's life than just stop or work on some other drill or whatever.

Now when these sparring become so friendly.. they also become unrealistic. And that is a problem too. But right now, it is not a problem I have.   What I am looking for are people who are my past selves and really want to learn Kung Fu. I realize in a way, right now, I can reach back to kids like me and even far more athletic kids with my same mentality, that want to do Kung Fu and martial arts and lion dance so bad. And I can teach them for extremely cheap or even free. And also because of that, encourage them to do MMA or seek out other career opportunities. In other words. I can improve upon my training for the next generation.

And I'm realizing becoming fixated on a brick and mortar school may very well be a mistake.

I'm not saying I'm still not going to try. But the brick and mortar school is a base. And base can be abandoned. It's not a country. You can move it around. Close up and start new ones no big deal. They are tools, not things to be defended with your life, honor, and sanity or at the cost of all or any of these.

The same goes for equipment. That's why I really have to make my own. And make it from things that are relatively disposable. If someone destroys my head in some sort of gang fight (can't imagine this happening but whatever) I can't get bent out of shape about that. All that matters is human life. Not pretend make believe lion head life. That being said. I will still have pretend things be very much a part of my practice and even expand on them.. creating new creature dances and writing, making up, the legends to go with them to suit me.

My Qilin.. maybe I should call it something different. I made it look like the Qilin's in pictures, not the ones that people dance with. Perhaps I should call it a Burak, and I think for my purposes, because we are low on members, it will have a short tail. I.e., one person can do the dance. And I will use small drums and cymbals that we have and really easy up on what the beats sound like.. as long as whatever is played sounds cool If it is African style then let it be. Who cares? In fact, maybe that way is even better.  

The Problem with the BJJ and MMA argument

So I still think Jui-jitsu is cool and I would like to learn it. But really, Jiu jitsu, Japanese, Brazilian or otherwise, first of all it's all the same. The difference is more in training and culture of the school than anything else. But it's all Kung Fu in the end. And it's also all traditional martial arts in the end. Even Krav Maga or some street self defense or anything is ALL a martial art training method. It's all the same. Except the training is a little different and the scenarios are a little different. The Biggest difference is fighting experience.

It was really weird to me to see that everything the BJJ guys accuse all the other martial arts of doing... they do the same thing.

And the guy who was sort of the most heroic, Rickson, his training regiment included Yoga and stretching and going into water falls... basically real traditional spiritual stuff. In other words, what's the difference between him and the traditional warriors of old? Except that instead of fighting with weapons it's just hand to hand.

So then you get people who learned from him and then people who learned from those people and they aren't as good so they rely on the knowledge passed down instead of first hand experience.. and you get all the same problems of the so called stagnant martial art.

And don't think this is a new problem of course even back n the day there was stagnancy in people who trained. That's why some people were really good and others, either not that good... or simply dead.  

So nowadays you could argue, "Oh with modern weaponry it's all useless anyway." And then you can bull out a ton of stories from any martial art of a guy stopping someone with a gun etc. I can tell you this though, the martial art helped... but even with out it, they could have found a way to fight too.

And also, at the beginning of the Qin dynasty. Qin shi Huang used a 200 year olf technology the cross bow, and mass produced it and used it to conquer the whole country... because they weren't expecting his attack.. even though the technology was 200 years old.

I definitely want to learn and incorporate new things in my training. Whether it is jiu-hitsu, or Kendo, or Capoeira or Hip hop or Volleyball or even rap. What if you did the form and someone rapped what you were performing about?

And to tell the truth  even fi I do this I am not even close to being the first one. I've seen videos of performances from Hong Kong that have Lion Dance, African Drums and Taiko drums altogether.
But to say you shouldn't do it because it's been done, is like saying you shouldn't draw pictures because that's been done.

MMA is really nothing new. Kung Fu is MMA. You got a bunch of martial artists together in Shaolin Temple and they spend all day micing their martial art and developing crazy techniques. Because it is good for warfare? No. It's mainly to pass the time. The techniques work of course but there are so many other factors.

I would like to do Mongolian wrestling and archery too, and even falconing and hunting and shooting guns and horse riding.. why not? If you have the time (though first on the list of all of these things should be the most useful thing.. which is to learn to drive.... or learn to drive safely I should say. Of course nobody will die from my martial arts.... but people could die from my bad driving.

You think about the Mongolians... their wrestling, I mean you can get hurt, but it is so simple in terms of rules. Whoever hits the ground. And then they don't worry about after that because the real war was about archery.

BJJ focused on the ground because that's where Helio spent most of his time. And for better or worse, he sounds like a great founding master... but he also sounds like all the other founding masters. And it's weird that his students and family pretend almost like Sakuraba doesn't exist, or that he used Gracie Jiu-jitsu as opposed to, I don't know the same Jiu -Jitsu that was already in Japan and was around the whole time? They only talk about the last fight that he lost. It's weird. But I guess Martial Artists in general are weird.

I try to put my weirdness in check. Like when I bring the foam weapons to the playground. Suddenly I make it really un fun for the kids when I make them do it my way. Why can't they just swing at each other and play their way? They won't get THAT hurt right? Well actually they could get pretty hurt, and they will hurt people not playing, and the parents will them come to me. So to make it fun I had to basically play with them. One kids I had to keep telling to stop swinging so wild. In a real fight it's ineffective.. but mostly it's because he will hit his friends on the same team as him. So even with foam the game has to be "fake" or at least controlled.

I mean you could have a group where everyone just fights full force. But then the weakest just die and maybe the strongest starve to death because they probably aren't the type to plan ahead.

So a lot of the stuff that is stagnant in the martial arts, is actually about controlling a large population of people and getting them to follow orders or follow directions.

In the field

In my mind I'm putting two conversations where older men gave me some advice on the Martial Way.
Basically the gist of it was that a lot of Kung Fu looks good, but in the end, not sure if it works. Not because of fanciness or the moves themselves. But just look at this. In war fare (even ancient warfare, you have to ride on a horse. How can you just focus on doing stuff not on a horse? In fact maybe Hung Gar is all in the Horse stance because your supposed to be on a horse. But then those techniques and stuff got adapted to other aspects of life.

Some Hakka  techniques (especially those that became pirates) were done real low to the ground, being practiced under a table. Because of the environment that they were going to fight in.

But basically if you practice in one environment but then you are going to be fighting in another, that's nuts. That doesn't work. If you fight in the mountains you have to practice there.

So... if you fight in the street.... you have to practice there.

Now one of the conversations was talking about how Kung Fu might be the more true way and the other that Kung Fu might be the wrong way. Because in some traditions or stereotypes Kung Fu is getting back to nature, being out there in the mountains doing crazy stuff and living off the land.

Then, when you think of Shaolin Temple, especially today, these guys are sort of isolated from the real world and maybe their perspective is limited. I mean ultimately even back in the day you are a vegetarian meditator. Can you really be a better warrior or can your group be better warriors, than a Mongolian Tribe living on the plains? So what if the training that the Mongolians do for Hand to hand combat is just wrestling? Can you shoot while riding a horse? Because that's the real killer. A finger eye strike is not as deadly as an arrow to the back or chest from across the field.

But Kung fu is better than doing nothing for sure.

And then... if you look at where most people train now, even if you are MMA the "realest" you mostly practice in a gym. A gym is like a lab. It's got flat ground. It's a controlled environment. The fight against another person, that's the most filed- like aspect about it.


So how's this apply to me?

Well I'm thinking of opening my own school because I feel like I need a base or could use a base, that somehow that is better, even though for a while I've been thinking that you don't really need a school to practice Kung Fu. Actually I know this.

But what I also know is that people like to have a place to practice where people aren't watching and that sort of thing. And really you have to think too, like I said in my last post Kung Fu isn't close to everything. Science is really everything. Science and the scientific way of thinking. Kung Fu is sort of just something to do. So if Noah wants to do basketball, then what the hell, what's the difference. It's just that somehow I have identified myself with Kung Fu and rituals surrounding it. So I would like to keep aspects of it alive. But seriously now that I am separated... I even feel separated from the system itself. I don't feel like practicing those forms which I sacrificed so much to learn. Or I feel that I want to change them all drastically.

Shoot I'm really starting to sound like a Bak Mei, but that's what it is.

But thinking of this concept of practicing in a realistic environment. How does that translate into my world/ Well for one, a lot of street gangsters laugh at Martial Artists. Or even if they respect they understand that martial arts is just one aspect of a whole variety of variables.

Parkour, in this way is closer to being a field tested martial art, even though the object is sort of just running away. There are other arts that are traditionally practiced on the street as well. Mainly Breakdancing.. and when you look at it. Lion Dance and the other animal dances are really performed on the street... so why not practice them there too? And Kung Fu, even if you argue about all the ground fighting BJJ stuff, ultimately is an art that was practiced n the villages, outside, in conjunction with farming, trapping and hunting.

It is meant to be practiced outside. Like Break dancing, you could consider it a street art or even a street gang's art. Like rap. Like beat boxing. It's just that that's not how it has been practiced in recent history. That is not to say that you should be a thug.

I mean one of the arts that is still very much practiced outside and in the streets is Tai Chi and push hands.
But still people look for the special space and all that. But what if you still did a nod to forms but started practicing in the weirdest areas. In truth I have practiced in the weirdest places... but I haven't taught in those places. Ultimately I don't have students and I don't have followers and there is good reason for that. There has to be a reason for them to follow me. I mean even my own sons are only mildly interested in the forms. They would much rather free style.

In fact. Maybe, instead of trying to teach Noah all the time. I should be learning from him. In fact I was doing this... but how do I translate that perspective, into forming my own group? Or recruiting a crew?

And how do I make a living while doing this?

The Usefulness of Martial Arts.

I just had a lesson in the usefulness of martial arts today.. and not in the way you would think. At a birthday party a child threw a large plush like frisby into a tree and people were trying to get it down. I threw a stick. That didn't work. Then I moved to climb up the tree. Another mother through a stick. I am really bad at climbing trees and I was trying to figure out how to do this without injuring or embarrassing myself. (note: I had to save Jonah from a tree with the help of another Dad and just like him I was afraid/didn't feel like climbing back down back wards and so I jumped down in sandals... in fact I think my ankles hurting recently might be from that. Plus I skinned my fore-arm... stupid lazy and afraid.


Okay so we're going to pause at this frisbee here in the tree

Every Martial artist or teacher will have some story about how Martial arts saved their life or helped them win a fight or prevented them from getting into a fight, or how learning the martial way, the strategy, the discipline... helps them to succeed in life.

Okay back to the frisbee in the tree.

Another father, (the father of one of my students actually.. and a scientist) comes over with a basketball and knocks down the frisbee.

He later joked, "I was going to wait and see you climb the tree.. but I figured I'd make it easy on you."

Mean while his daughter climbed up with tree easily. (she does not do Kung Fu btw. Gymnastics... yes)

My point is.. Kung Fu helped me zero in this situation. Not only that. This is not the only time I have learned this lesson. Now yes... when I first started Kung Fu I had all sorts of stories of how I jumped higher and was lighter on my feet. (Come to think of it, most of that had to do with stance... which I do not practice as often anymore)

So of course a little bit of Kung Fu training can definitely help you with body mechanics. Lifting with the legs... that sort of thing.

But to specialize at it.. well after a while it becomes less than useful. In fact you may do things a very stupid way when there is an obvious solution right there. It's the classic Indiana Jones shooting the big guy with the sword in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Another time I learned this lesson was when a group of people at the house couldn't figure out how to use a cork opener to open a wine bottle. The guy who did it, easily said, "Hey I'm an engineer. I went to school for that stuff." and then later.."You know that's maybe the only time I have actually used my degree for something." Correct he is not an engineer by  trade. but still an engineer. So Kung Fu helped zero in that... and many many other situations as well. I'm not saying Kung Fu has never helped me. But if I analyzed the situation from another perspective, there was probably also another and maybe even better solution.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson said in some interview that a Scientist is like a superhero with a utility belt. Not just a hammer. Because if your special power is a magic hammer, you begin to see all of your problems like nails.

I've seen other videos comparing Navy Seals and Spetsnaz training and one Navy Seals argument for the difference in hand to hand combat training and physical toughness was that the Seals used to focus on that, but they found that many problems were being solved by soldiers being able to think outside the box.. and so that is an aspect that they have shifted focus towards instead.


I'm not saying Martial Arts, or Kung Fu is useless. However I do think it is funny when certain Martial Artists (and this includes Kung Fu practitioners) will point to other martial artists and criticize them for lack of usefulness.

At the same time, I have been moving toward "functionality" in some respects. But when I tried to introduce ground fighting for one of my classes in Chinatown, some of the students just didn't want to do it. I also asked some other students if they wanted to focus on more realistic self defense... and the answer isn't always yes. Some people want to learn "self defense" but in the traditional Kung Fu way. They are going into a Kung Fu class and really don't want to end up doing MMA in that class.

They might be doing it for cultural or aesthetic reasons. Who knows? I know Brazilians.. who will not to BJJ because they don't like it, even though they are from RIO and technically are at the center of the BJJ universe. They do Muay Thai instead. Not because of realistic application. And not because they want to compete in the ring. They do Muay Thai because they like it. And that's it.

In fact I have a story of a Martial Artist in Rio getting car jacked. A child walked up to him and told him to get out of the car, it was a car jacking. The Martial Artist told the child to get out of here. The child shot him in the face. He didn't even bother to take the car.

So does this mean I'm giving up Kung Fu?

I actually didn't really learn Kung Fu to fight. I was jumping around the house pretending to be Bruce Lee and my mother put me in classes. I gravitated most to the Lion Dance. But I liked everything. Basics, forms, drumming, Mein Lei Hum (Tai Chi), Push hands... and you know, had there been stunt work and MMA sparring and jiujitsu like garppling at the same school, I probably would have done that too. If there was Kendo like stuff and we were required to play chess ( not just for fun but required to do it) and look at Feng Shui and other stuff, I would have done that too. Does it all help and translate into the real world? Yeah sure. But none of it is the be all and end all.

One of the most important things is to have enough people, who think differently to get the problem (whatever that is) solved. When everyone thinks the same way.. life is smooth, but maybe there is a way it could be better.

If my friend the scientist hadn't been there today... maybe the frisbee would still be in the tree right now... or maybe someone would have gotten hurt getting it.

Salmon Fish in the Sky

Today at Jp Soccer during the water break Noah looks up at the sky and says, "Baba the clouds look like a Salmon Fish!"

I looked into the sky expecting a fish shaped cloud. Instead, I saw the wispy sandune like clouds that always reminded me of the beach. I would look up as a child from the 6th floor window in the Castle Square high rises looking upside, my head tilted back in a lying down position. I would imagine I could run across the clouds like they were the sand and the blue was the ocean and I could gallop along the sky waves.

But Noah saw the Salmon. Not a live salmon bu the fillet kind. I don't think I had actually eaten salmon like that when I was his age to tell the truth.

I laughed when he told me this because he was 100% Gong Gong's grandson. The Gong Gong that has oh so many fishing stories to tell. (In fact I hear that he almost got killed on a fishing journey in a stornm, but unlike the tourists, he knew to take refuge under the Mangroves. Grace assured me I would here this story 20 times or more the next time he has the opportunity.

Meditation and the Presence of God

So I was reading this Chi Gung Book and I was really surprised how religious te context could be for some of these Qi Gong exercises they were talking about. The exercises in the book were similar to what you see all the old Mainland Chinese types doing in the morning for health. I'm not talking about Tai Chi. I'm talking about flicking your ears massaging your neck... this type of stuff. To my Sifu this stuff was not even Chi Gung. It was just stuff for health. But then the book took a turn off health to divinity. Like at the end of life you could "Rainbow" and basically ascend into heaven. Woah. Like a Jedi or Jesus. I really never thought of Qi Gong in this religious context, especially  those exercises. I mean I guess I believed in enlightenment. But in the end, the Buddha died. In my mind your spirit lives on.. but not fading away, the body turning into energy.

I guess I always practiced Chi Gung more like an atheist.

But of course there was a spiritual side to my meditation.. but this was meditation by myself. In teh school as a martial practice, that was one way, and by myself almost like a prayer that was another way.

So when I say Chi I'm not talking about spirit. I'm essentially talking about blood flow or what feels like blood flow but may be different types of endorphin released.. etc.

However, recently I've been shaking much less. Part of this is I have less Chi and part of this is I have more control. But I have gotten to the point where very quickly, almost immediately I enter into this state where the top of my brain feels tickled like. It's just a cool sensation.

I only mention it because that is something that I stably have and it is normal to me and it is not what I am about to talk about.


Last night, while meditating because I could sleep, and maybe these was because of lack of sleep or whatever, I had an almost spiritual experience.

In fact I realized as I was having it that if I had been praying to God instead of just meditating I would totally have taken this sensation for being in God's presence or hearing his voice or something like that. However I was not praying. If I had been praying with words and that was my thing, maybe I would have heard words. But I wasn't.

It was fleeting. It was a moment and I couldn't get it back. It felt like a cloud passing over head, but it was inside my mind.

Because I was thinking in terms of religion, and because I had watched some debate about whether the Universe is actually some sort of Computer Program simulation being run by a four year old and if THAT is god.. well after the feeling a few images went through my mind. I felt God's love. Not God's love for me.. but my love and understanding for god. I'm not saying I believe in that simulation theory, but is it is something like that. If there is a being outside of our universe that looks on our reality as a painting and can therefore touch different points of it at the same time.. that being would be outside time and therefore easily be the Alpha and Omega.

The debaters mostly physicists and mathematicians as well one philosopher (this was hosted by Neil DeGrasse Tyson) mostly argued that if God exists in this way, as a four year old playing with blocks, destroying the city they made, he is not worthy of worship any more than your own four year old.

I'm just explaining that this idea was in my head.

So I had this sensation. This fleeting moment that felt like God was revealed to me and the image in my mind was Jonah smashing a city he had built and another one laughing and kissing me. I felt at one with several Religions at once. With Christianities idea of god the son. Except that Jesus is a metaphor for every human being. And that goes to Hinduisms idea that each human is a microcosm of Atman.

But with evil like ISIS and all that and destruction... people can hate God for that but instead I felt love for this God that was a four year old child. I didn't blame him for his playful destruction as painful as it was. It was a deep feeling. It is interesting how this is the opposite of what most people tend to feel in a religious experience.

But this sensation, while meditating had nothing to do with Chi really. Nor was I having a particularly strong meditation. I had kept stopping because I was tired. I did not used to stop like that. I thought of the early Christian Mystics that wrote of their frustration or peeking at a moment of being in the presence of God.

The thing is I will not chase that moment as they did, trying to meditate and fast for most hours of the day and only sleeping for two hours.

But I did want to acknowledge to myself that I did have it.. and also that it's not about a level or Chi or mastery or holiness. I have my own faith and belief and I do practice Chi Gung (though not as disciplined as I should) but that doesn't make me superhuman or anything. Maybe I was just imagining that feeling. But I will tell you that I do believe what I felt had some significance. But I also know that this is separate from doing these moves or those moves.

The Chi that I use has totally to do with the physical. I use it for strikes. I'm just pointing out that the spiritual, though you can blend the two, is another aspect and it doesn't mean I believe I can throw Hadokan's or whatever. But it doesn't mean that even if I had this sensation because of some release of chemical in my brain, that it doesn't exist.

Most people who I have heard who have had a much stronger  and longer lasting experience where they thought they touched God, also laughed while they said it because they were Agnostic. The experience came from Marijuana actually. But it only happened once. They laughed but I didn't laugh at them as I know that others would... but I feel like you can acknowledge the experience without laughing at it or without starting to preach that you have the one true answer either.

"The Americans" Munchkins

So just finished this episode. Pastor Tim was missing so everyone wanted to blame the Russian Spies.. which duh, makes sense right? And then Agent Gad dies because he tried to run for it when the KGB wanted to talk to him. I'm thinking... did Gad do the right thing? I mean what's worse, to die because you fell through some glass? or to work with the KGB? I mean I think for a guy like Gad.... it was probably just better to die. Because he didn't betray his country and if you are an FBI guy that is probably what matter most to you. He was oldish anyway.

But it's surprising he didn't even want to talk to them at all.

Plus I can't believe he wasn't more.. I don't know, prepared? I mean your in Thailand dude...and your an FBI agent, retired yeah but still.

Phillip was talking to the girl he's using who is daughter of a CIA agent, and he is sort of talking to her like she is his own daughter Paige. He doesn't  want her to tell him the secret, that her father told her. It's so weird, all the incestuousness of the relationships. It ends up that you are closer emotionally to your enemies than you are to your country... the people giving you orders who really know nothing about being in the field.

I wonder how much of this is even remotely based on anything though. I mean from what I've read, most spy work is actually really mundane.. unless you get caught of course... that is by the Russians. We seem to treat the spies we catch pretty well. I mean that couple in Cambridge and the kids were just sent back to Russia. It wasn't like they were tortured to death. Hell they didn't even go to prison. Come to think of it, we treat our own citizen's ... our own children much worse. They can get very heavy sentences just for selling some drugs that are legal for companies to sell. And sometimes we even shoot them dead for virtually nothing. But spies... they just go home. Well I guess we got something for that though. Interesting when you think about it that way.

Inspiration for "The Americans"

So Grace showed me this article about these spies Russian spies that were in Cambridge in 2012. The article just came out now though. The spies and the kids who were born in Canada are back in Russia. This made me think that despite people freaking out over Trump threatening to kick out people who were born here and therefore citizens (these kids were Canadians but whatever) the point is that if we really want to, even now, we send you back to where your parents came from.... and for those who think it's about race... no even if you are white you go back to Russia if we think it's necessary, no matter what the law says.

Anyway, so I was thinking, is this the inspiration for starting the FX series the Americans? AN dthis happened in Cambridge under Putin's Russia? I.e., not Soviet Russia. Different flag but basically same stuff yeah?

Then, being who I am, a martial artists and a fan of "the Americans" I was like, "Wouldn't it be freaking cool, I mean if they didn't have to be sent back, if they opened up a martial arts school? Like how to be a modern Ninja basically. I mean I don't know if these guys were doing what they do in the show the Americans. They were mainly convicted of dropping stuff of and picking stuff up, not like killing people to 80's music and banging everyone to get them to tell their secrets or betray their country..... or breaking bones to fit women in suitcases. But anyway. Maybe a class on that stuff wouldn't be cool. But wouldn't like hand to hand combat classes from an actual spy, even if they were Russian, be kind of cool? I mean wouldn't that be great for marketing too? I guess that's sort of what Systema is.. which people claim is actually Tai Chi or something but who cares? ANyway. Psyched for the new episode in 30 minutes.

Magic, The Force, Chi and Religion

When I first heard of Chi and Kung Fu as a child, it was almost explained to me that I would never understand Chi or the true meaning of Kung Fu because I was an American. Yes I am half Chinese, but basically that's what a lot of older Chinese people explained to me when I was a child... even though they didn't even practice Kung Fu. There Kung Fu was from the movies, from TVB series.

Not even from documentaries but really from the Wuxia culture. 

I started to think, "Yeah I don't understand it" like it's magic that really can make you fly.

Now before you think I am going to be one of these BJJ or Krav Maga or whatever type of MMA modern martial artists that go off on the traditional as being ridiculous... I am not.

Conversely, if you think I am one of these super cultural appropriating white guys that is all about following the TRUE way and dressing up as in Kuomintang era clothes (they were really only in style for about two decades) I am also not that. 

But doing the Chinatown Blog and also reading more about Chi and Kung Fu and talking to more people, I am coming across all sorts of opinions and beliefs. Basically I used t think people that believed in the magical aspect as crazy, but I am starting to understand that there is actually a strong Orthodox belief in Chi as the Force and even going farther than Jedi powers.. out there. It isn't a misunderstanding. A lot of Taoism does belief in this as a non-metaphorical theory. 

And btw, that isn't crazier than monotheism. It's just that I never really thought of chi that way... so openly. I mean when I first started I guess I believed in stuff but my Sifu was very grounded in the way he approached Chi.. there were some beliefs which he held, but did not talk about (belief in Fu and that Qi Gong could bring cleanse your soul) because he didn't believe in them as say... Science. He didn't have the answers for that.

There was some kind of Chi War that happened in my school that started before I got there and later on I was part of it too because and it had to do with shaking. Basically the argument was about whether this shaking was real or fake and what was causing it. 

I think the main issue came from some people feeling this shaking much faster than others, and a misinterpretation of what the hell it was. Basically, I shake, and I can control this shake. Can I use it? Yes, I can use it to strike. Some people can use it to protect themselves. I can use it in that capacity as well but I am not very impressive at it. However when talking with people, telling a story about some street experiences I had and how you could apply this shaking for self defense, some lay people mentioned that they found may close quarter striking impressive. Actually I didn't mention chi at all. And yes you can develop close quarter striking simply by practicing that move, but I feel that when you use the shaking aspect of the chi to do a technique, it's just easier. Now it's not like this means I can throw Hadokans. But I do think there is some relation to people who have "crazy" strength... like when they are insane. Or even the extremely elderly. One friend once told me that her great grandmother dropped her with a quick and short motion to the gut. She collapsed Her great grandmother did not do Chi Gung or Kung Fu and was infirm. Me friend was feeding her with a spoon. My friend doesn't believe in any of the Kung Fu stuff at all I don't think, I was learning something from HER listening to the story. She was just talking about old people strength matter of factly. 

In any case, there are people who are crazy you really can kill you just by grabbing you or striking you. The "death blow" is a real thing even taking away any sort of training. Someone starving to death or on drugs can deal a death blow. It exists, scientifically it is not a myth. 

Martial Arts is training the techniques. That's real everyone agrees with it. 

But the Chi Gung, that people tend to think of as fake (or if they believe in it they believe in all aspects of it in terms of ability to become immortal etc), is a Yogic practice that I think taps into this ability. At least for me. Even though I can control the shaking.. it is semi-unconscious and not as controlled as a regular movement. In other words I can use it and switch it on, but I can't apply pressure with it slowly (Something that Tai Chi focuses on) So my Chi experience is different from a lot of practices I see out there... and somewhat dangerous when applied in say, sparring. That's why I don't use it in sparring. Not that I become superhuman when applied. But I just don't have the control necessary to absolutely prevent injury. 

Maybe someone, without that Chi, like Mike Tyson can even still strike harder then I can without it. I'm not saying I'm superior. But I do think that A) Mike Tyson uses some sort of Chi that he naturally developed through his methods of training anyway and B) Maybe if he did my method or other internal methods out there he would benefit and strike even harder 

And most important for someone like Mike Tyson C) those internal methods would be helpful to him mentally. 

Well I will talk more about this tomorrow. The main reason I am mentioning it all is I am reading some Taoist Chi Gung book and have been reading more Chi Theory stuff in general and I notice a huge difference in my perspective and the Force perspective. 

I'm meeting more people who both embrace and reject this theory on varying levels.

I used to only follow my way and really only believed in what I saw my Sifu able to do. I mean he mentioned that there were people much better than him but given that I could do what he did, I decided to leave it at that and also, a lot of the people who were supposedly good with Chi seemed not to have strength... or, something that got me into arguments with people who were shaking a lot of learning from me... they had bad form and because of that I thought they were faking.

Quickly before I end, I realized after really focusing on form and really trying to put that shaking chi into each technique I knew that you shake more when you are somewhat out of alignment because the shaking doesn't flow with the technique... and thus you look crazier.

If you can put it neatly into your technique, people can't necessarily even tell you are using that same shaking technique, it just looks like you are hitting hard in a practiced or different way.

But just like a hose being squeezed and going all over the place... if you have more water pressure, it is harder to control, less, and it is easier to control.

So actually my abilities to control "the shaking" waxes and wanes from day to day.

At one point I taught the shaking to children because it really cracked them up and they would just fake the shaking. Some people would say this is irresponsible that children can somehow Jau Fau yup mau.

But I realized in other kids classes they "shake" on purpose to "get your wiggles out"

Jau fau yup mau is real... but sometimes people take it too serious. If you go with the your natural abilities and your body, it won't happen. It's only when you try to force something that that will happen.

Next time I will talk about the difference between My Sifu's approach to the Chi Gung taught in class versus Yoga and the Chi Gung exercises I am reading about... which are pretty cool and fun to do and it seems like EVERY old Chinese person knows some version of this. So it's not like it is really secret. 

Personalities of Martial Arts

So I've been looking at a bunch of Martial arts stuff online, which yes I used to do that in the past, but I had lost interest in it before. In a way I had closed myself off to my martial arts practice and limited myself. But somehow and for some reason having re opened my learning process (I hadn't stopped practicing or teaching) I have learned a few things... especially looking at Brazilian Jiu Hitsu and the Japanese arts.

A) Martial Arts started getting really modernized more in Japan yeah? I mean unless you want to count the European Martial arts.. but I think I will leave those separate for other posts. But basically the martial arts became more sports for a civilized society that has a modern military there. So you get Judo and Karate becomes like Kickboxing and the hands move up higher and that is the more modern stance.

B) Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in terms of techniques is exactly the same as Japanese Jiu jitsu, but it brings it back to the street because Japanese really looked down on street fighting by that time.  But with people holding their hands up in a more modern way, interestingly, this makes it easier to take someone down to the ground. Once on the ground, in sport, to prevent eye gouging and all that they would just stop.

But if you stop practicing on the ground and sparring on the ground, even if you want to eye gouge, you may not be able to get into that position.

Basically When I see all the Jiu Jitsu sparring and even the techniques, positions for dirty moves often come up. Bruce Lee had on screen answers to these techniques. Biting and punching of balls. But here is the thing, these things are always open. But you need a way to practice where you aren't going to maim each other. So basically, I'm all for the Jiu jitsu way..

But then those techniques tat they do use.... they can still kill someone, your friend and brother, if you use it on them unsupervised. So I would actually rather introduce more "obviously" dangerous techniques into sparring and don't go full force (like Dragon and tiger claw) even if you don't get the satisfaction of tapping someone. In the end, you always have to take it easy on your sparring partner, and even in an MMA fight there is the ref and rules in place and honestly, they go full force but it isn't like they bite each other... which Mike Tyson did and when I heard his side, in a way he was right to do I do not blame him.

In fact once when sparring I was so keyed up that when my friend fell and he tried to wrap his legs around me when I fell next to him I saw his balls and with Adrenalin... well I'm not saying I bit his balls, but I was in that mindset... perhaps this is because I was sparring to exhaustion and I was sparring the way I did my forms at that time... not as a playful work out way. I still have not found that middle ground that honestly, most children find naturally. Noah sort of is better, Jonah is like me... and I have a student now who really only knows how to go full force... but at the same time is very beginner so does not protect himself.. he reminds me of one of my Si Hing's that I often clashed with over push hands and I feel like it is Karma that me student now has the same Kung Fu personality of someone who I had crashed with when I began to surpass them in the martial aspect of the art...in fact, it is because of this student and his father's questions about grappling that I have really become so obsessed with jiu-jitsu.
In the end I find that really all the martial arts are more or less the same,, and at the same time vastly different.


Even the ones that are the same are different.

I watched Helio and Rickson Gracie talking about the difference between Japanese and Brazilian Jiu-Jistu.

The techniques are the same.

But the way they are done, it is true, their personalities are different. Even from school to school it is different. But the same goes for say, Hung Gar.

The same goes for White Crane! Person to Person it is different and group to group even more so.

And I realize that yes I will start using a lot of stuff I see but also trying to distinguish my style from my past and from my present in many ways. The most notable way is actually more in the way I have been approaching Lion Dance. And also I have decided to be the student as much as possible. I want to be 95 and still learning new things. That doesn't mean I am not a Sifu. Of cousre I am Sifu. But a Sifu can be a student 99% of the time. That way that 1% of the time he or she wears the Sifu hat he has learned 99 out of 100 things to teach, draw parallels and reference from.

Butterfly knives

I was playing in the playground with other dads talking about "what if" scenarious involving butcher knives etc. I mostly demonstrated techniques I saw on TV or online. They seemed impressed but I totally said before hand that these are techniques I just saw on TV. Playing around we actually further developed what we thought might work best. In the end we decided more or less that if the person with said knife actually knows what they are doing.. you are effed. The whole principal is that they sort of don't know what they are doing. I mean think about it, if they did, then they would A) just shoot you or B) attack you when you weren't looking.

You still have a chance of course.

In fact I sort of realized how good certain sword techniques I know are and why they are pretty important to practice in case you... wanted to be a knife assassin? Okay so not so useful... just fun to play with in term sof Martial Arts.

At night I suddenly realized how useful the Butterfly knives would have been in these scenarios, especially if they were tucked up the sleeves in the first place and the assailant didn't know you even had them.

So I just looked on line because I realized suddenly that I totally want a pair of butterfly knives... real ones. Like sharp ones... to put on my altar to Nike along with some other weapons my students have gifted me as well as a Buddha Bowl and a Stone which I will attribute magical powers too because I can, and that's what an altar is about for me.

The first thing that came up was a pair of plastic training knives for freaking 50 dollars or so, and the other butterfly knives are like 100 or something. That is ridiculous. I guess this is the real problem with having a want, a desire for a specific type of weapon instead of just any old weapon. I guess I wanted the Butterfly knives because of their "Kung Fu"- ness... instead of a butcher knife... which would be much cheaper I believe. But I already have one in the kitchen and I think I will just leave there and I am unlikely to train with it. In fact, I guess even if I got butterfly knives, ones that were not sharp would be better.


Hell in that case why don't I just make the things out cardboard? I had talked about making weapons out of cardboard, but the size of Butterfly Knives means that the cardboard knives could actually be well, for durable than a bigger sword made of cardboard.

Taking something Common and using it uncommonly

I'm beginning to look at myself and really notice that some racism has been holding me back in terms of my success.. but the racism of others and my own racism.
The racism is others is benign. It is when they see what I do and they call it Karate.
But the racism of myself is something easy to fix. It is that when people call what I do Karate... and I can't fully embrace that. I mean what if I actually started just teaching Karate and Jiu -jitsu? In terms of my goals would it mak a difference? I mean, okay, there are some cases in Chinatown, where I should continue to teach Kung Fu. Why? Because the people are hiring me to teach Kung Fu.

I mean I can also just call it Martial Arts. In fact when I went to perform for that game show... America's got talent... showing up by myself when I had intended for the whole team to show up... They called me "Martial Arts Adam!" after thinking through what sounded best.. basically because Kung Fu, Karate, Jiu-Jitsu.. that's old. It's Martial Arts now. Mixed Martial Arts. And the truth is all of it has always been mixed Martial Arts. Tell me a Martial Art that isn't mixed? The only one that really tries to claim that is racist forms of Samurai Sword that focus on ritual and purity of race Spirit. You might as well be doing Nazi Bayonet form if you are so focused on Purity. But where did those sword techniques come from? They never mixed or encountered another style or way of doing it? It's true, these are maybe the purest. But all the stuff that has been out there in villages and among the people... it's all mixed. Just like the people themselves.

Anyway, A lot of Kung Fu forms are forms that take something Common and turn it into a weapon. A hoe, or other farm tool. A bench.

What if I were to look at some of the techniques that way. I mean I've been looking through a lot of Jiu Jitsu and Tai Chi and other stuff online. Before I would look at things very critically, looking at the counter. And guess what, A lot of people have been doing my work for me where they adapt Tai Chi and stuff to the ground. I am influenced by them, but would I do it exactly like them? no. I see some differences both from my training, and my experience.

In a lot of ways I hate the step by step.. he does this and then you do that type of technique. All the criticisms, for instance, that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has against other martial arts... you can take those same criticisms and turn them on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Those interviews with Helio Gracie... you subistitute the word Kung Fu with Jiu-Jitsu and what is the difference? You look at his tutorials of the techniques and what is the difference with the 1950's American Judo stuff... the stuff that Bruce Lee was Criticizing? And then UFC and MMA criticized Jeet Kune Do in the same way. But everything is going in circles.

You look up Jiu-jitsu.. it came from China, so it was Kung Fu, but a lot of those techniques were lost, and one could even say deemed unrealistic. The reason why I say that is because even though they were used by the Gracies... the way they used them was different. The focus was not on the technique. I think that is what Helio Gracie was talking about and he even said that everyone else's Jiu Jitsu was not his if he didn't put his stamp on it. But what made his different was actually not the technique.

Basically you could take any technique, any form of martial art out there, and use it like a how or a farm tool or a bench. You could use it like a weapon. But if under developed and trained improperly it is useless.

For me, I rely more on my Kung Fu moves and the Gung and some of the meditative concepts, of course because that is what is inside me, through forms and practice. So whatever I do... will ultimately Kung Fu.

But if one day, it makes sense to teach Kata and put on Gi's and send kids to Karate Tournaments because that is just easier or Jiu Jitsu tournaments, or Judo tournaments, that could work too. And I would be taking car eof the problem of, "Why are you teaching our secret techniques to everyone?" Instead I can keep those Kung Fu forms and techniques for insiders. People I trust.

As for doing forms... Wushu has it right. Focus on a few moves and forms and concepts and some very acrobatic moves and put the athletic break dancer types out there to perform and attract attention. See even in that way, what is becoming commonplace and is already put there, what everyone knows.. use that!

Even sports, Soccer, volleyball basketball even.... There is great benefit to these sports. First of all on the playground, if children are sparring with sticks... People get nervous. People are worried about someone going blind. But with a ball you can pretty much ignore these kids ( which is sometimes what they want) and let them go. Save the Kung Fu for when they really ask you. But drilling constantly? Maybe it's not the best thing for them.

For Chi Gung and Yoga... You can even use the moves already out there...
But behind everything there is that secret, that essence which I want to teach. It isn't really in the moves though is it? Or it is, but it is both hidden and right there staring you in the face.

I haven't even uncovered all of it. I think what I have uncovered.. people will not think is all that great. But it has good use in a street fight. That's because when I uncovered it, that's what I was interested in.

I'll tell you the truth, my style of fighting is actually completely different from my Sifu's. The reason is because I came to him and asked him about some things and he said that my way was not as good, what I was bringing up. There were several things that I brought up to him that he said no too. But then later he said, "Well I guess you could do that to."

But the reason why I went in that direction was because I realized that we were very different in terms of personality and upbringing. He is a fighter. I am not.

My way of fighting combines the idea of the Bezerker, with the idea of the of the meditative Elightened one, animal Kung Fu, and even some concepts of Sun Da (which I did not formally study) But Why do I credit it?

Basically my way of fighting is for someone who finds dealing with violence stressful. A switch is flipped. There is another you that you create (but still have control over) and you strike with movements that is controlled by chi and of course controlled by you... but in some ways is not directly controlled fully consciously. Part of it is submitting to your training and the technique you have practiced in a trance like Shamanic state. When I trained like this, people would watch me and say, "If Ah Gwai later creates his own system I would not be surprised."

Or in English, "Adam if you did those techniques on the street you would go to jail for a long time. They have special laws to add time to what you would cause. They call it Mayhem. It adds time to a sentence."

But I would say, "How are my techniques more violent than the gun or the knife?"

It is adding the strength of the mad, to the calm of the internal arts so that unlike those true Bezerkers, after ward you feel energized instead of exhausted. The focus is not too technical. So in a way, the techniques do not completely matter. The concept behind the techniques do. Maybe you get the concepts from some of the basic movements. Maybe it is important that you turn your waist (at least I once thought it was) But watching stuff online, I have seen masters of different systems and lineages that have achieved similar things. Or at least an inkling of it on certain techniques. Except they do not fully give over control (Maybe I do not either) I have had students that achieved this too... but because of lack of technique or gung...or control or flow... well they have it, but it misses something too. Control is the wrong word. In any case.. couldn't I teach this through other martial arts as well? And in that way, not sell out the Kung Fu my Sifu taught me? But then I wouldn't be spreading it either.

I think there is a balance. Perhaps the focus could be in the concepts. And the movements, they could be anything. Lion Dance, Chinese Folk Dance, Boxing, Wrestling, Jiu Jitsu... whatever is lying around. The techniques are just tools, not Vedic scripture.

Gracie Academy

I've been watching a lot of Gracie Academy videos.. and though I'm not yet ready to commit through money.. I'm totally hooked. This guys are so fun to watch. I watch them talk about nothing and enjoy it. Plus they seem like nice guys and they are definitely successful guys.
Since a lot of these techniques have actually been around a while and are the same kind of thing Bruce Lee countered in his movies, you make think I am crazy to start gravitating towards this stuff. Have I lost my mind? I thought you did Kung Fu.

Look, I have been teaching kids with a while and there is an issue with the whole Kung Fu secrecy thing. As in, I am always worried about that. Am I showing secret techniques that my Sifu wouldn't have wanted me to share? Dude that is why I have created my own classes. On top of that, my Sifu's stuff takes a long time to learn. More time than any other martial art? no.
But Why start showing them a form if they can't finish it?

And people keep asking me about grappling grappling. And this stuff is just out there and they are promoting it. They want everyone to know it.

I'm not saying I will throw away what I have learned. But I could watch these videos with my kids (so again it's not like I am the mean teacher, we are learning together) And then we can talk about some of the supplemental stuff that is in the forms. In fact, it is helping me to see some variations in Mein Lei Jum and Luk like, etc.

I'm telling you if I had my own school already set up, I would totally sign on to this thing and pay the money. Why? Because so many people want to learn BJJ now. And it doesn't mean you have to stop doing Lion Dance and Forms and weapons. It would be a separate entity within your Moh Goon. Is it kind of Scammy? I'm not sure. I know an online course sounds like it is, but if you already know Kung Fu, I fell like these techniques aren't that hard to show.. plus you can just pull out a screen of some sort and do it that way.


If you and your friends were just doing the moves on each other then I guess you don't have to pay, all this stuff is online. But if you pay the money you could totally advertise that you are teaching BJJ, which has it's advantages and disadvantages. For me, it seems like there are a lot of things that kids would have fun doing, and even if you say "Oh a real fight wouldn't be like that." Even when I show a kid an eye strike.. I'm telling you they can't always do it. And the ones that can do it did NOT need to learn that. They are so athletic that they are actually a danger and possibly a bully themselves. And this two brothers have a whole course online that handles all that stuff. Bull stuff. Stuff A lot of Kung Fu guys do not really want to handle. Just turn on the screen and show the video. Then after an hour of that or whatever. Drumming, lion dance, forms, weapons.

Basically it is another Martial Skill that is nice to have. A more humane way to take someone down, and another way to make money in addition to the Forms classes, Basics classes, which I think only adults who are into working out will like. I think the basics classes are either done as Yoga/Chi Gung or as some kind of p-96 thing because very few people like to do the basics. I guess I was the weird one. Drumming classes. And Lion Dance. Plus some of the drills seem good as light warm ups anyway.

I'm there. (I'm not spending money yet) But I'm there. And if I had already committed to having a space which costs rent, I think I would spend the money because it would sort of be like advertising for my space. And they give you all this stuff you can sell. Uniforms or whatever. It's a franchise, but whatever I think it's good.

They have that story of the guy who started his little Garage Dojo and that was kind of cool. I would love to do something like that. And he did that while running a real Estate business.

Of course I want to promote my Sifu's System and My own system as well. But some of that stuff you do feel uncomfortable selling. It's better to sell other peoples stuff and reserve the forms for insiders, like a secret handshake of sorts. Because a lot of times you sell a form, and they don't even appreciate it. But everyone wants BJJ or a simple work out... so give it to them.

Do I seem to commercialized? I don't know I don't see a problem with it. Just not ready to throw down the cash.. because I am risk averse.

Practicing Outside

It's a beautiful day out and I spent a good deal of time practicing outside. I used to watch people practice Kung Fu nonchalantly and wonder, "Why the hell won't this guy just get it done already. Taking so many breaks here and there. What a waste of time."

Today I was totally that guy though. Part of it was I didn't eat breakfast. But if Ihad eaten... I would have been too full to practice at all. I don't know I guess I'm just out of shape. Plus in years past when I fatigued myself in the midst of the Spring pollen... well I ended up getting so sick.... it was really bad. So I don't want to do that. Plus at least I was enjoying the out doors and yes I got SOME practice in.

I did some of my forms.. reversed. IE, I did them left handed. I think this will be increasingly important as Jonah begins learning forms... And as much as I do question my time being used on practicing stuff that may not be useful in a "real fight" and is definitely not so useful in a real situation.. combat or otherwise (for instance... computer programming would be far more useful.) You know what? I am who I am. And I am going to enjoy myself. At the same time I will continue to try and realize my dream of a school and at least a group to practice with... and not get injured. I was thinking about Uncle Four's (Sifu's brother) stories about his old work outs. No forms. He just did Chuen Pow cup and swimming (the goal was to swim down to Hong Kong) and pull ups and the human flag.. stuff like that.

His work out could be the next new thing. In fact, it's not that different from the MMA craze.....

I've been thinking it would be cool to have like a pretend Pirate Crew. Have a flag with the Cheung name (I was doing this when the kids were first born with the flags and the Pirate crew idea) and since my dad's nickname was Cheung Bo Jai, the name of a pirate... I mean just go with it. And then absorb all sorts of martial arts because who cares.. your pirates. Steal the Kung Fu..

In fact Cheung Po Jai supposedly did White Crane. But they definitely did Kung fu according to legend. I mean I even had my fight with an oar and drunken Pirate forms I made up. I feel like I should revisit this idea.

Trump on Meet the Press

Okay, a lot of people might hate me for this... but honestly whenever you have Trump in an interview, instead of clips and sound bytes, does he sound like Hitler or a crazy racist? No he doesn't. If he is racist, it is not more racist than the average rich white American male. In other words, not conscious racism, but just the subconscious norm. The difference is of course that he is vocal and doesn't care about what people think about what he says. He says what people think.

In fact most of his policies is a version of what we already do. Most of his criticisms about the wars we have been in, are pretty much what I have thought since College. Even when he says really crazy insensitive stuff, or seems out there or seems to contradict himself... he says, "It's called life"

As a political Science minor the scholarly term for it is incremental decision making.

He basically says, "Of course I'm not going to do exactly what I say I'm going to do. I have a plan but obviously you have to negotiate and change things and try to see what works best.

I'm not saying Trump is my idol... but yes I am going to vote for him and then cautiously watch because I am suspicious of ALL of our leaders. I voted for Obama twice. I liked him and I still liked him. It is difficult to tell how Trump would be in person as someone hanging out with you. There is no question that he would not consider himself to be your equal. And Obama really seems to make you feel that he does think so. But is that a trick of Charisma and leadership? Not sure.

In any case, Hillary Clinton certainly does NOT make you feel that way. She makes you feel lowly, even more so than Trump. It's because she had been in power or at least close to power for so long. Bernie Samders is better, but he will not negotiate. He believes in ONE truth and that's it and will push for that, This is consistent however it is not necessarily the best way to make decisions. A lot of Communists in China and probably Russia had very good intentions. They believed in what they were doing. Maybe they didn't want to kill people and a lot of them could not believe what just happened when what seemed like a fighting for the people suddenly became the death of all their friends, mass paranoia and stuff that people are currently trying to say Trump will cause.

Am I racist for voting for Trump? No I don't think so. Or at least I am not more racist than I would be if I were picking Hillary or Sanders or any other candidate. My main issue with Trump is that he seems to be a Climate Change denier and probably surrounded by Yes men right now. That's bad.
He doesn't like to hear criticism. But right now that might be because a lot of the criticism isn't genuine;y constructive.

Am I nervous?

Yeah sure. But let's look back in history and look at who actually started the Japanese internment camps.. who actually de facto banned groups of people (like Fujianese for instance) from immigrating here even when all the paperwork was proper and right.  A lot of times this happened under Democratic Presidents like FDR and Bill Clinton. Heroes of the Democratic party. I'm not a Republican or a Conservative or a Liberal. I don't love Ronald Reagan. There are a lot of problems with how he ran things too. Nobody ever points to Jimmy Carter as a hero. Everyone seems to hate him. But when you really look at what he did AFTER his Presidency when it no longer matters... hey he was the real deal. A genuinely good person trying to change the world.

People hate Nixon. And man he said some stuff that was really bad behind closed doors. But he was also very vocal for racial equality on his college campus when it wasn't popular to have that opinion. And he opened up China. And in the end he did a lot of good. He got caught doing bad and it was time for him to go... but to make him out to be some sort of villain in the grand scheme of things... I mean maybe he would have been horrible if he remained in power but he wasn't as bad as our culture makes him out to be. He is exactly what he was. A President who over stepped his bounds and had to go, but overall, did a pretty good job.

Some people hate Obama. He did all right. Not as good as the people who love him say. Not as badly as the people who hate him say.

What will Trump's America look like? Not all that different. You will see the President on all the Talk shows (Obama seemed to be the first standing President to be on Jay Leno or something like that right? Or even Youtube shows.) Trump will be on TV even more often probably. To be honest... Trump's America will not really be that different for the average American. Won't be much better, won't be much worse. I think it will be slightly better. Will he get re-elected or even elected in the first place? Not sure. Not sure about anything.

But America as a business will probably be run much better. We will only go to war if it is profitable.. which probably means we won't. I suspect we will just team up with Russia and China (something unheard of before) to take care of ISIS and get that high speed train built going right through all that territory. If that actually works, the Middle East could have a  slightly majority Chinese population much like Xin Jiang...and a lot of locals from that area may end up working in Europe or Asia. The U.S. will somehow profit from this monetarily but may swallow pride by taking a back seat in terms of power in the region. But business will boom at home. Lots of people will die.... but it won't be at U.S. hands, it will be Russia and China doing the killing. Trump will not call them out on human rights violations.. instead we will do business. The sounds so dirty but right now we are losing money and soldiers lives and people are blaming us for human rights violations. Trump said he would kill terrorists families. This sounds so bad. But de-facto we have killed groups and people on U.S. soil who were citizens and were just competition, able to start their own political party and work within the system.. not terrorist groups. So basically we have done worse already, and I don't think Trump would have say, had MLK killed or Huey Newton. You may point to protesters beating Black Lives Matter protesters. But look at that. Black Lives Matter (I support their cause) but it is a little less organized than the Civil Rights movement of the past. And the Black Panthers.. honestly I think Trump would have just made a deal. Because he doesn't care about "how does this look politically?" He cares about, "Can I make money off of this." Which ultimately produces a better result. Not the perfect result but a better one.

Maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe he will be more of an asshole. I don't know. But for sure he will be an honest asshole. Not honest in terms of virtue. But I have a feeling that even people opposing him will end up feeling that they can work with him to hammer out a deal to benefit both sides.

Has he been greatly successful as businessman? He's "used the law" to cover his losses and he has said that. He is honest about the fact that the law benefits him and he has taken advantage of that.

If I met him and it ended up that despite me voting for him maybe he said some really denigrating thing to me.. .I would not be surprised. Maybe, like all the clips out there from his supporters, he would actually help me out and I would be like, "wow he isn't bad after all."

I don't know could go either way.

But I do think that out of the choices now. He is the best choice.

With Hillary we are going to war for idealistic reasons.

With Bernie Sanders we are also going to war for idealistic reasons. I'm talking about the Middle East, not class war fare.

With Trump, we will try to get the most money out of a situation and use are military as leverage for making that money. That sounds better to me.

Playing Dead

So I've been watching a ton of bjj videos including the old footage of Helio Gracie fighting in the 1930's and some of the later footage of no hold barred fights with a Karate school. People had mentioned it to me before and let's put it this way, where I wasn't convinced before, I am now convinced even though the world seems to have moved beyond the whole jujitsu is the Ultimate because so many strikers now win in the MMA.

I'm not convinced I would necessarily lose against  someone just because they do BJJ for 10 years or 6 months in a street fight (though I might) their answer would be of course "you will definitely lose and what you have learned is bs and is on of no use."

There are some aspects of positioning that I noticed and not BJJ practictioners have tried to shoot in and because of certain stances basically I even paused there and told them not to do that because their head was right there and my cup was right there. But again, this was someone who did not practice the art and know how to hide those vital areas etc.

But what I am convinced of now is the genius of Helio Gracie. He independently mastered, not only a way to fight, but a way to train. For instance, all of his or his children's students train in rolling, a way to train where the participants can practice every day without getting hurt... and when they fight they can pretty much fight the same way. Now there is something to be said for the fact that their strikes were a bit under developed. But they still won the fight. And developing strikes (as in boxing) has nothing to do with sparring and more to do with drills, which can be boring and children hate doing. Adults hate doing those basics too. Probably from a bjj perspective, that is not even a good use of time because they can win with an underdeveloped strike. And although developing a "death strike" with the hand takes so much practice... you can stab someone with a tool (let's not even say a knife yet) and that can easily be a death strike without training.

If you can achieve a dominant position to deliver this blow (or even better deliver it from a non dominant position) or just choke the person out... after this if you need to cut their head off (so this would go back to the original purpose of Japanese Samurai jiu-jitsu) it's really easy now. In fact you will probably hold the choke until they are dead. Or if you can ransom them you can make a bit of money.


Now we get to the fact that going to the ground is not always a good idea because in a real situation you want to be able to run. Let me get this straight... that is 100% where I was coming from before. But now I see things a little different. There are some situations when going to the ground is a GREAT idea. A one on one fight in a rice paddy?

No.


A mass shooting?

Okay so running is one option. But for some of those Mass shootings, I think the one I am thinking of was in Nairobi, one of the survivors said he put his friends blood on himself... and played dead.

Isn't that going to the ground?

In fact this is a classic move for survival both in human history and the animal kingdom.

If you read the Novel "Musashi" that is what (though a fictional account of the historical man) Musashi basically did on his first real battle. And real war is different than a one on one fight. If he had tried to run with a leg injury he would probably be dead.

So going to the ground... without training... is a real thing.

Now...you played dead... awww crap! Their standing over you. Is this a gun situation? or is it just one shooter or soldier by himself and he would like to prod you with a bayonet or perhaps rape you for fun? Maybe he wants to see what it's like to make a human head go squish under his boot. I don't know, I've never been in this situation. Maybe you really are just done for.

But there are actually some moves you can do.. and you are on the ground.

Now Kung Fu does have these moves yes. But if you only ever did them in a form and not with another body you will not be as good at them.

But if you did both, you have a better chance.

So I feel like Helio's genius was bringing back the ground game in a way that was not only practical fro a fight, but practical for training. Many kids have said to me that they learned better from sparring.

I put the gloves on them and had them strike me and honestly I DID go in and tackle them with no real technique. Because I am stronger, faster, more experienced, have better horse stance, I mean I am their Sifu.. I am older before that becomes a drawback....I taught them everything I know... and in the end it's like they are my own kids. How can I strike them with chuen pow cup even lightly?

I dare not to. Maybe a tap. Plus I wanted to show that their striking and stance was underdeveloped.

Helio Gracie developed a way to fight even if you are weaker and you are on your back. Are their drawbacks? Of course. I've really been wondering about that whole guard. I mean I had dismissed that position because you can punch the guy in the balls (in fact that was in Way of the Dragon because Bruce Lee wanted to say something about that position)

But again is someone is trying to get you with a Katana and they are wearing Armour.. I'm just saying that position is not just for cage matches.

And I thought about it as I ran through some moves.. This is a lot like "sleeping man" Kung Fu. In fact you can fight multiple attackers from the ground. Many systems from Silat to Impact Self defense have this theory. It is not crazy. It is also of course not a 100% type of thing. Nothing is.

But I'm really liking the whole, you practice this way (and don't hurt each other) and then you fight this way too. You should still develop strikes... but do you need to strike each other? In practice?

I mean the military is right. Because striking with a weapon, especially pulling a trigger, is a better way to spend time to kill than developing a hand strike. So you just have to work on position and accuracy.
Then in the field things do come up where you have to apprehend someone. So that's body positioning again.

Then there is just the whole, "I need something to do with my down time" and a lot of people really like the social aspect of rolling. It's fun because it is a game. I see in this in my son. He would rather lose at wrestling to his friend over and over, than be forced to do forms.

So for my Kung Fu to survive I have to adapt to this mind set.

Of course I will still do forms and I will still teach my kids forms (even if they don't want to learn them.) And I can see the danger here of the modern martial arts school where since the forms aren't practiced.. they look like crap and eventually fall away. But I can see many of the positions wheere certain striked or animal positioning for the forms.. would have worked better in those Jiu-Jitsu fights... for the Jiu Jitsu guy. Maybe they didn't want to kill the opponent or something, but maybe they also hadn't train that type of strike. After all a lot of the strikes in Kung Fu are strangely positioned, and then there is the Chi Shaking (for another post) In the end they will say (I don't need that I won anyway) But a lot of those strikes are.. for a human without training, Actually kind of common sense. Or rather, common nature, and it has been trained out of us. More on that another time.  

Learning new things

I read somewhere that no matter what age you stop learning, you start getting old. I realize that I did close my world off a bit when I went into the Kung Fu world. Not just with other martial arts, but also in terms of what I read and what I focused on. Even now, as I write books, it's all Kung Fu and this or Kung Fu and that. It's good to have a focus, but after I had kids and had to learn new things I realized it's important to always keep learning. First I started learning new things outside of Martial Arts, like Ballet and Music or what not. But recently I played some Jujitsu with a friend of mine... and liked it.

I'm old enough to not really want to be fighting other people to better myself. In fact the brief period of time I even considered this, I did not have good experiences. But learning new things, taking new classes, that sort of thing. Why not? I mean I haven't learned a new form in a long time. I have created a few, I have followed some Yoga out of a book and that was fun. But as I continue to meet new people with passions about what they do.. but in the martial arts and outside of the martial arts... I'm beginning to think.. why not pick up whatever I can? I mean when I was first learning Kung Fu I would meet a lot of older students who had studied for years (some martial art or another) but I was turned off by the fact that they had done so many systems mainly because they also forgot all of those things they learned. It depressed me that you would learn all these forms.... and then not remember them. I really wanted to make sure that didn't happen to me.

However, say, if I were to pick up a Hung Gar form now... the act of learning a new form would challenge my brain in a way that practicing Tiger Crane comes out of mountain... would not, because I already know that form.

If I learned a Wing Chun or Pak Mei form.... that would challenge my brain and my body in a different way. I would be new at these movements. I would basically suck at it.

And then going out of Kung Fu, if I started Jujitsu, or Kendo, or fencing, or Thai Boxing or whatever, I would not be good because I would be new. And honestly really trying to master this stuff would actually mess up my White Crane for a while (I know that from boxing) But if I just started picking it up, for fun.. I think it would be good for my brain and might inspire me. Also, inevitably students have requests to learn other stuff. So it's nice to have picked up a little bit just to give them.. like candy.

Sick?

Something was going around. But I don't usually interact with people so where could I have caught it? And then I remembered that after my little preschool class all those cute little children always want hugs and hi fives. In the past I had somehow avoided this. I mean it had never come up. But suddenly everyone want that attention from the teacher, like I am some sort of Rock Star and they are fans. So I figured why shouldn't I do this hi five thing? Which became hugs too.
Well I hope my aches are some sort of imaginary thing happening.

Well, despite low immune system.. I'm going to watch the Americans now.

Trump vs Hillary

If Trump wants to win, well he might win anyway, but the BEST choice for a Vice Presidential Running mate that he could ask for is Condoleeza Rice. I wonder if he's already talked to her. Would she say yes? When it really comes down to it, as much as everyone wants to say Trump is crazy, if you look at his policies versus our actual policies of the past.... he's not that crazy. He just says stuff people won't say. Compared to the other candidates he was actually dovish when it came to foreign policy. That includes the Democratic Candidates.

As for the whole border thing. The laws are what they are. I'm not crazy about what he says and getting people all frothed up and fired up. But if you are to judge candidates by how they campaign, he is the best campaigner we have seen in a long time. People call it evil... but it's just blunt and honest. I don't love it. I'm just saying is it actually different than what we already do?

I know a lot of my friends will say they will hate me if I say that I am voting for Trump. And I will go into why I actually am in another post.

But don't think "Oh Adam must hate immigrants now" or that "Adam must hate poor people."

I do not, And you may wonder why I continue to push for certain things locally while seemingly voting for someone who is against all that nationally.

The thing is, I have never tied myself down to one way of doing things. I am a "whatever works" type of guy.

There is one issue which I really am against Trump on, and that is his stance on the environment.

But again, I think that maybe he is just saying that to get his base all frothed up, and if not, the truth is that what we actually do and what politicians tend to say we will do are two different things.

Do I trust Trump? No.

Do I trust Bernie Sanders? Actually I do. But I think that the situation that will come out of Bernie Sanders being President will be more negative over all.

Do I trust Hillary Clinton.

Let me put it this way, it really doesn't matter. We have had a lot of her and I think that's enough. I never hated her. But she isn't campaigning well.

Condoleeza Rice, though I would never say that I loved her exactly, has never been accused of doing a bad job as Secretary of State. She is the obvious choice for Trump. She will guarantee him a win really, or at least neutralize the whole "Trump is racist" argument. If Trump is racist, it is simply the white privilege type of racism along with bluntness of speech and insensitivity. He is your typical Ugly American and in truth that really is who we are. But as Ugly as that Ugly American can be, all the good parts of America are still in there too.

I voted for Obama twice and I was not sad to do so. I do not think that Obama was a bad President so basically I am not your typical Trump supporter.  I am not anti-Muslim. I am not anti-Mexican. Most of the stuff Trump says he can do.. I actually don't believe he can do it. What I do believe is that in all the crappy situations we are in he will make the decisions that make the most sense from a business perspective, compromising and getting us the best bargain possible, even in a nasty situation.

Trump is basically that nasty Pau Pau that you send out to by stuff because she will Gong gai and gong gai when any decent person would have just stopped hours ago. Maybe you don't want to hang out with her, and you definitely don't want to go shopping with her. But did she bring home the good stuff for less money? Yes. See? Will Hillary or Bernie do that? No. Because they are an opportunist and an idealist.

 Trump is a realist. (Except on the environment.. but maybe he is just faking that)

The Star Wars Holiday

May the Fourth be with you.

It's funny to have almost an official Star Wars Holiday. In fact Star Wars is so big now that when Larry Wilmore had to explain a joke he was making about Donald Trump saying "Two Corinthians" he explained it in terms of someone talking to Star Wars fans about the Farce, when they should be saying the Force.

In other words, Star Wars is now what you use to explain religion... not the other way around. That's insane.

The same is true of Chi. A lot of times when talking about Chi you might say, it IS like the Force or... it's not like the Force, depending on what context you are talking about Chi. And that goes from Jedi Mind  Tricks and the whole concept of Young Jedi. It is more accessible than "Toh Dai" or disciple.

But when Star Wars first came out.. according to Mandy Chan now, a lot of people in Hong Kong were like, "They stole our idea about the Kung Fu Sifu disciple relationship!"

Many times I have actually explained chi saying, "It's not like the force. It's not like the force."

Because for me. Chi Gung was always something very real, physical and proven. Not something overly mysterious... well I mean it was like that after I started practicing it. When I first started of course I thought about it in terms of movies. Basically after I was able to feel some of this and do some martial techniques with it, I took the mystery out of it myself.

Not to say there wasn't a spiritual side to my Sifu's practice. But even he, having come from Communist China, was not as willing to show or even tell all that he believed openly.

But as I am going around Chinatown collecting more and more stories, I am starting to see that Chi really IS like the force. I mean there are stories from reliable people in recent time in Boston's Chinatown that talk about Chi in a way that goes beyond just circulating it within your body, and even goes beyond just circulating it out to another person. There is something bordering on spiritual. More like what you see in Kung Fu Panda 3. It's there.

But still I'm not going to pull out those stories ina a beginners class. Obviously I will write about it and discuss it on my blog, but I feel like that is different. It has gotten me to start wanting to look back into the Chi Gung aspect of my training. To focus more on it. I mean I haven't been completely neglecting it... but I haven't been striving to be able to achieve anything in a rigorous and disciplined practice either.

When I meditate by myself I believe in a lot of stuff. In a lot of strange things and phenomenon, that might cross right over into religion let alone vague spirituality. Of course there is that sense of mystery and the unknown. Maybe I should start applying that to some of my classes. The reason why I don't is... you know, I'm not sure. Why not start paying with these concepts from a scientific method type perspective? Let's try it.
I have been warned about some problems that could occur.. but I think those problems are no worse than what could happen on a soccer field or playing tag on the playground when you really think about it.

 May the Force be with me.

Annie Dookhan was a vigilante

I just saw a Tweet about some other chemist taking the drugs she was supposed to test and feeding her  drug habit and the tweet compared this new story with Annie Dookhan.


People love to hate on Annie Dookhan.

You know what though?

 Annie Dookhan was a Vigilante. In other words, she was more like Batman than the criminal they tried to make her out to be.

 She isn't a villain. She broke the law, yes. But was it for her own profit? No it was to put drug dealers in jail. Now everyone has to jump all over her, like, "But she put innocent people in jail."

Look. the state didn't want to spend money on chemists so the lab was understaffed and frankly, Annie Dookhan seemed to be the only one working. It turns out she was cheating. She was just returning the drugs and saying they were drugs without actually testing them because it was easier and it helped get the conviction quicker. Because here is how it would work.

I mean just think about it.

A person would be arrested carrying a substance that looked like drugs. She would return a a piece of paper that said, "Yep it's drugs" I guess without testing it.

Not testing the drugs was her crime.

People have done a lot worse than that. Would everyone have jumped all over her if she were a man? What if she were actually an officer on the street with a uniform and a gun instead of just a female chemist in the lab. She held a very important role in the wheels of the justice system... and she cut corners. But you she didn't shoot anyone. Not on purpose and not by accident. She just said, Yeah this white powder is drugs. If anything, she was lazy. But since she was the only one actually working... she was cutting corners the way Batman does. We don't jump all over Batman.

So anyway.. the cert comes back and the drug dealer pleads out. Because even if Annie didn't test the drugs... shoot THAT guy knew it was drugs. He was SELLING them. The only reason why it fell apart because I guess someone must have been carrying fake drugs and they were like, "Hold on... I know that wasn't really drugs." and the man behind the curtain is revealed.

So yes all those drug dealers can now go free. The papers said "Murderers will go free on the street! There will be Chaos!"

First of all there are ALWAYS murderers or potential murderers on the street. In fact you talk like murderers are a particular kind of person and not just a normal part of humanity. Serial killers yes.. And a lot of the murderers that get caught murdering, I guess. But a lot of murderers are people who happened to have committed murder. And these murderers that go free, were obviously not even convicted of murder... otherwise they would not go free. They were convicted of selling drugs.

Basically a bunch of drug dealers get a second chance. I mean they still had to serve two years or whatever. But now they go free. People got up in arms. "This will cost millions to re-try these cases.

Why are we re-trying these cases like we don't ALWAYS have new cases to try because there are ALWAYS people selling drugs, and there HAS always been people selling drugs since the creation of currency. These people caught a bad break when they got caught. And they caught a good break when they happen to fall into this category where they got off a years or decades early. Now, if they sell drugs again, they will be watched more carefully and they will go to jail again.

If they decide not to sell more drugs and adjust to become normal citizens after having only spent a few years in jail... oh wait isn't that sort of what the system is supposed to do? Woe to society if they readjust without serving their full term. Is it fair? Arguable. But it is what it is. It's not the most unfair thing that ever happened. It's not even necessarily a bad thing.

But it happened. Okay. Why is it that whenever a woman commits a crime like this. A cutting corners crime they are like, "She is the most horrible person ever." Again, she was sticking her neck out and taking a risk for the benefit of society to try and make the system flow more smoothly. Most of these cases plea out, and the only reason you wouldn't plea out is because you knew the substance you were carrying wasn't drugs... which means.. you were selling fake drugs. Which means in addition to being a drug dealer, you are a cheat. You're not innocent. You are just a criminal among criminals breaking unspoken laws among the dealer and buyer, scamming the buyer. So what that makes you better than a drug dealer? I don't think so.

I'm not saying she shouldn't be punished. But jail time seems harsh for what it was... I mean basically drug dealers went to jail (and then were released early) because of her. And I guess a few people caught with a drug like substance that they were trying to pawn off as drugs also went to jail for selling drugs... when their crime was selling fake drugs. So isn't just losing her job and maybe getting fined enough? I mean when people cut corners with evidence.... what is usually the punishment.

So when I see a tweet about a Chemist that was actually consuming drugs.. ie. stealing drugs from the STATE and using. Stealing from the State essentially, and that is compared to Annie Dookhan... that kind of pisses me off. Annie Dookhan broke the law. She served her time. That is justice in a way. But even if what she did was illegal and had to be punished, in my eyes she was a hero and then a scapegoat and now people like to drag her name through the mud even after she already served her time. How many people do you know that went to jail just to try and make Justice swift without any monetary compensation?

I mean you can't equate what she did with stuff I've heard from the 70's. Like they the chemist to say, "Nope it's flour" So hard core drug dealers who were well connected with the police wouldn't go to jail.

You know what else I heard went on in the 70's? They would kill people and give the guns to the police to handle it, to make it disappear. That was corruption. Was Annie Corrupt? No. She wasn't getting paid and she was doing the opposite. The final outcome when she got caught was that people were released early and some people went to jail who shouldn't have. (Again why do you have cash and a drug like substance that is not a drug? You are playing some sort of game on Halloween? I think not.)

Essentially she went to jail for trying to make the world better. Perhaps she was misguided. But she is no villain.