Right View

 I am going to start recording my thoughts everyday. To make an effort to really do it. I have tried this with just writing it down mannually, but I know these pages will be lost. And I am saddened by the fact that I have started to feel as if maybe my thoughts and experiences don't matter. So in a way, my lack of recording is almost like a form of suicide. And so I feel I need to climb back to a mental state that I was in before and make goals for myself that revolve around my life as it is now. 

We rented chickens and that has sort of been one of my main daily tasks, watching them, as if they were Shao and Dai at the playground. and following them around gave me something to do, but it also took away from my work out time. In any case, they will be going back to the farm where they came from soon. Which in some ways makes me sad. But I also think they have had enough of our home and would appreciate the change in scenery. 

I am going to have to make a strong effort to have the right view. In other words, to have the right perspective of my life as it is now. A positive one. And I have to have goals for myself that make sense

and to do exactly what I want to do instead of just going through the motions of life. There are certain things that are possible, but don't make sense for me to pursue. In any case, as this blog is called "Kung Fu Dad" and thinking back to my previous times in life and what my goals were then... it actually appears that much of what I wanted has come to me seemingly without effort and perhaps that is part of my problem in terms of my "View". But i wiull make a stronger goal to practice and work out everyday to become good and better and a Master at what I do in a way that it is unquestionable. and that is an effort that does not require me to depend on this or that. I just have to make the time to practice. Which, I do. But the way I do it... is like more sad and haphazard compared to the way I used to. And so I have to do things knowing that I am doing exactly what i want and that I am doing it for myself.  

Basically I need to schedule my time better and put forth more effort in my down time, and record my thoughts everyday. To take up space and care about myself.