Aravel.

I've been writing a novel that I was about to ask for help with, to have someone edit, because I had reached my limit. But recently I realized a few things that I will put into it. The most pressing thing that has changed is that my Uncle Francis passed away, and so I saw that I will put him into one of the characters that was kind of flat. In fact, maybe that character was flat for a reason, because he was meant to be my Uncle. 

I am surprised that I am having similar feelings to when my mom died, in that I will wake up and forget that my Uncle is no longer among the living. I mean, it would have been pretty easy not to know. I rarely talked to him let alone saw him. Our phone conversations were years in between. If I had not called him when I did, if I had waited a day or two I wouldn't have had a chance to talk to him. That makes me feel like my mother made me call him somehow. 

One could say that now maybe my mother and her brother are in heaven together. But I have a feeling that that they will see each other, but they will mostly do their own thing too. 

Anyway I realized that my novel, which takes place in a magical fairy land type of place, sort of always was, a version of the otherworld, or heaven if you must. So was Neverland. Yeah some kids travel there and come back, but really it's a place where the author decided to put the kids that were abandoned in London. That they didn't really die, they went to Never land. And of course my world is just a fiction. And that was the weakness of my novel. That this land wasn't real enough, or it was too real. In other words, it wasn't that dream world where I have gone in sleep. It didn't resemble that world where sometimes I would see people who have passed along with people who are still here. And that should be a part of they story. And it wasn't.