Language guilt

Today at storytime Noah said he wished he was born in Japan, because if he had been born in Japan, he would know Japanese words. This led to some discussion about language and how he could know Chinese word if only Mommy and Baba were a little more Chinese. Then I had to admit it had more to do with me just not speaking to him in Chinese. But then I pulled out a book about spiders written by Eric Carle that I was going to translate into Chinese and realized I don't actually know how to say spider in Chinese. So I didn't translate it at all. Now I guess I could have just said "spider" and "web" and then said a bunch of other stuff in Chinese and basically teach him Chinglish and then when we figured out how to say Spider edit that in there. But it's annoying to have to think of words all the time, and if you don't have anything to feed off of, like another Chinese person talking back to you, well then you just feel foolish.


I started scrambling around for some of the more baby-ish Chinese books and of course all I could find was this book with great stories and no pictures that won't be any use for at least three years or maybe even more. I could do videos. I could would should. Anyway I was feeling guilty.

I had even tried the Chinese words of the day today, and had them paint them. Only they just painted there own thing. But at least they painted. I guess my problem is I gave up. And now I have to try again.

I know I will probably have to send them to Chinese school, but I shouldn't send them in blind. Or deaf and dumb really. (The way I started)  I started imagining  and dreaming of my son, fluent in Chinese, written and spoken, and then having an interview for some school and the person saying, "Oh that's cheating that you take Chinese though isn't it? I mean since you speak it at home." I have actually heard this personally. I think I used to look more Chinese than I do now.

Anyway, suddenly I lived vicariously through my sons imaginary future self and started railing on the interviewer about how I had to bust my ass to learn Chinese and how my father (me) made him learn it in all kinds of crazy ways. And that he was basically a white guy too. And that my brother (that is Jonah) looks like a white guy too.

Not sure why I had that tangent of a day dream but I did.

Well I guess I will just try to do more Chinese words of the day, and get more books from the library about it. because that's all that's going to work. Props. Becuase when I just try out of the blue... well that did work a couple of times didn't it? Well I'll try it again.