Bullying and Enlightenment

Fear and self doubt is the main source of unhappiness I think. Well no I guess anger is pretty bad, and then when you are starving, that's the main terrible thing. Can't be happy if you don't have the main things. Food shelter, air, water, some sunlight.
It's really hard to go through if you are afraid of risk though. I don't want to go toe to toe with this guy because this and this might happen. Then people end up pushing you around. But then if you go toe to toe with everyone it's pretty hard to be happy too, and maybe the person that goes toe to toe with everyone is also afraid inside. Afraid of being pushed around. So they lash out instead.

What's the middle path then?

People talk about this balance a tight rope walk. Jesus talked about the path to heaven as narrow and difficult (right?) Buddha made it seem like it wasn't that hard. Just choose somewhere in the middle. Not so extreme in either direction. You shouldn't be afraid of losing "everything." And usually our ideas of "everything" are mostly financial and material. We rarely worry too much (at least I don't right now) about losing our lives our children, our loved ones. And yet that happens all the time. Okay we have moments of time when we worry like this. When a child goes to close to the street, or if they are sick.

But that type of worry seems real and perhaps makes us stronger in a way that getting chewed out and bullied by people at school or at the work place kind of breaks us down.

I remember reading some Japanese Zen Buddhist thing about a certain type of enlightenment. It was the enlightenment that comes in exactly the moment before death. This guy was a warrior type of Buddhist. And he was talking about walking around and maintaining that enlightenment all the time. He wasn't talking about a peaceful energy. He spoke of some woman with wild hair and crazy eyes that had it and that she was right.

He talked about imagining you are holding up your sword in battle, teeth clenched preparing to strike, and at the same time preparing for the other persons sword to cut your own throat... and meditating like THAT for long periods of time and keeping that sort of energy up throughout your life.

In general I hate the idea and I feel like I would be stressed out. Actually I know I walked around like that for ten years or so, at least during certain times of day and year, with breaks where I did other things. I don't like it. I'm more for peace and love and playing imaginary fantasy....or so I say.

But when I read that sentence, even though I put the book back on the shelf at the library, it stayed with me for a reason... Because I knew exactly what he was talking about. Only I tend to go toward anger and call that the enlightenment.

But imagine blending your peace and love and beautiful fantasy with that sort of death enlightenment. After all Yin and Yang right? You need balance. Blend that sunny pardes and eden and calm oceans with the ability to function in battle and face your work and school bullies like that. You might feel different. Don't be afraid. Don't flip out and kill someone. But never take that off the table either... and calmly answer their question or respond to their threat speaking softly and carrying the big stick in your Mind.