A Proper Bostonian

A while ago, long in the past, back when the sidewalks were passable by a double stroller, I was on the Orange Line. I stuffed the stroller by the doors of the train, the ones that don't open until Tufts Medical Center and I sat down next to them, tired, thinking my own thoughts on a crowded train. A woman on the other side was making smiles at my kids. The man she was with, I would say close to Sixty years old, fit muscularly but rough voiced and faced said to me, me who was minding my own business, "Your Kids aren't born here right?" It is not so much the question, but the accusatory tone of it that woke me from my blissful daydreaming frame of mind and began to awaken, ever so slightly, my belligerent nature. But I kept my belligerent self in check.
You see, my older son, the one that sat closer to them, looks more Asian. I do not. Just like my youngest son, who still has blond hair, as I did as a child. So I thought he was implying that my child was either adopted, or not mine.
"They were." I said.
"Yeah but you weren't." he said.
"I was." Making a confused face.
"Yeah but you didn't grow up here. Not in Boston."
"Yeah I did." I smiled but I was beginning to get annoyed. My children sat in their stroller between us though.
"Where were you born."
"I didn't want to answer that. But I answered. "Beth Israel, same as them."
"What neighborhood."
Where the hell was this going? "Why do you ask?"
He made a face as if to say he couldn't hear, cupping his hand over his ear.
"Why do you ask?" I said louder, smiling and annoyed.
"Nope. nope." he said repeatedly shaking his head back and forth vigorously with a smirk. I have seen this type of facial and head gestures in kids, and young arrogant men. Perhaps I made the same movements as a teenager. The type of movements that made me want to put my fist into his face just as vigorously as his head shook and repeat 100 times. But my kids were in between us. But then again, had my kids not been there, I don't think this conversation would have happened at all.
"I've been living here fifty years," He said to the woman, who started to give me looks that said, 'sorry about this' but the man continued.. and any true Bostonian, when I ask them answer immediately, "'South Boston!' no problem, 'JP' no problem, 'Charlestown' no problem..." I was glaring at him now, these were fighting words to me, and frankly, when I was a kid, I considered all the neighborhoods he mentioned to be out a little ways from Boston. South End, Chinatown, and Roxbury (pre-giant police station) were the only places I went on a regular basis for school or other extracurricular activity.
Now let me interrupt me story for a bit. Where am I from? When I grew up in the South End near Chinatown. And as an adolescent when as where I was from I would indeed say where, and it would sound like, "south end NEAR CHINATOWN" emphasis on Chinatown. Why?
Well I will tell you this. I am not a homophobe and I don't think that I ever was. I had a lot of role models growing up who were gay. But, I will say that despite never having really been a bigot towards gays, that after watching Glee and growing up, and changing with the way the coasts popular opinions have changed I would say that I am still less of a homophobe, now than when I was a a child and adolescent. What do I mean? Well, when I was younger it would definitely bother me to be called gay. I am not. But Now I would just correct you if you genuinely thought I was. I wouldn't get upset. I will also say that I used to use homophobic slurs in my youth, (like using the word gay in a negative context) and after many a gay speaker at school explaining why "harmless" slurs were harmful, I eventually dropped those too. So maybe I was a little bigoted back then, but not as much as most of the people around me, and I never actually had a fundamental issue with people being gay.
But I wasn't, going to shout "South End!" in battle cry way the way this guy on the train claimed a true Bostonian would. And even though in my youth I might have cried "Chinatown!" in a moment of foolishness, I won't now. And I am also suspicious of people asking me what neighborhood I am from to prove that I am from Boston. I am not willing to get into some neighborhood confrontation without at least first knowing what it is about. Hence the question, "Why do you ask?"
I will also add that neither the South End nor Chinatown are places where you will cultivate the "Boston accent" which is one of the reasons I don't have one. The other reason is my mother was from Philadelphia and I spent many summers and Christmas's there. I know nothing about Philadelphia except the house of my late grandmother and grandfather. But I do say wueter for water instead of saying wahter. Back to the story.
"You see" he said now at me "A Proper Bostonian like myself.." honestly I can't really remember the rest of the speech. But it had something to do with how he could spot people like me from ten miles a way and knew that I wasn't a real Bostonian.
Now I am not a sports fan, and I don't have the accent.... but hey if I'm not from here then where the hell am I from? Granted I've spent most of my time hanging out with people who weren't even born in this country. You could say that I don't act like someone from Boston. But I resent my hometown being completely taken away from me.
"They," (people like me) the man continued, "also say soda where I say tonic" (I say soda and haven't heard anyone under the age of 50 say tonic in my life) and with that he got of at his stop. The woman gave me a look and said, "Have a nice day."
Obviously he kind of ruined my day. Mainly because as stupid as it sounds, I would have liked to go to blows over this. Just fists. Nothing further than that. And really I shouldn't let crazy people get to me, but sometimes they do. Maybe because I don't have a neighborhood I can just use in battle cry like that.
I could say Chinatown but the truth is, even if I am half-chinese, I look white, and unless you know me, even if you do know me, the assumption is that I moved there, that I am not really from the neighborhood even though I am.
That's why I like JP. Because I do know where I stand. Because I did move there. I'm not from here. I just live here. I like the neighborhood but yes I am the gentrified person moving in to your neighborhood. Now I can help out at the library and in the community (when it is fun and in my interest)
Not like in Chinatown, when my hand is shaken when they think I am some gentrified white guy (you know the kind with power and money. People in Chinatown (who are really from the suburbs or someplace not in Chinatown) try to explain to me, an assumed outsider, about "their neighborhood." To show me around, where to watch out for, where to eat. Oh how disappointing it all is when it turns out I am from the projects on the border of Chinatown and my Chinese was not learned from China, but from the street and TVB.
Well I guess all these aspects of my character are usually funny to me. Just not when some crazy person is saying I am not a proper Bostonian on a crowded train.