Curley Lion Dance team

Alright today I'm going to start teaching Curley students Kung Fu and Lion Dance in the school yard. The goal is to get ready for the Wake up the Earth parade. We'll see who shows up, but I'm starting to think, why did I make it only one day a week? If there is interest I might expand to Mon Wednesday Friday. I might try to carry it over into the summer too and make it a daily thing and go right through the fall. I'm getting ahead of myself because maybe nobody will show up. I sure don't want to bring the lion head there every day. But maybe during the summer I will. If some older kids practice every day, they could actually get pretty good in a month or a week. Maybe good enough to run class. (I did that and there was more information to remember too. I will be simplifying it.) We'll see how it goes, but it would be cool to put a real team together. Maybe teach them forms and stuff too. Why not?

Teaching the Tiger Crane form

Today I taught two students, who are married, the Tiger Crane form. I kind of wished I got it on video. Even though they are beginners they looked pretty good. But I think most importantly, they were having so much fun learning something knew. I remember learning fighting forms for performances that were coming up, and there was always an element of extreme stress, especially since there was a lot of, "No no no like this" Blind striking out by fatigued partners, frustration, and injuries. It's different when you are doing it just for fun. I mean there was banter back and forth, but it was funny.
And it didn't matter at all if they forgot it all the second they left. Who cares?

Maybe it was because it was so laid back. Maybe it was because they were married. I don't know. It was just a fun experience.

The Clothespin in 11.22.63

I am not the only one who had to Google what the hell was being talked about when this came up. James Franco, Jake is back in the 1960's trying to prevent JFK's assassination, and he falls in love with this woman, Sadie, who is married. She talks about her first night with her husband, and that he had her touch his penis, and that she felt a clothespin. He had a clothespin on his penis.

"What?" said Jake, and me and Grace because the conversation continues as if this is something that people did back then. As if I am supposed to go, "Oh yeah that's horrible but that's the 60's" Like footbinding in the Qing dynasty or something. So apparently this wasn't in the book but is a reference to another Stephen King novel. But everyone is wondering what the hell is going on on the internet.

Later Jake talks to the husband and he says, "Did Daddy put the clothespin on? Oh no that was Mommy."

Again this makes it seem again, like even though it is crazy... that it is something that happened in child abuse cases or whatever. That it isn't unheard of. What???

The first thing I thought, which wasn't in any of the answers I saw, was that maybe it was a way to stop him from Masturbation as a child. I only say this because I saw some weird thing on the History Channel about bizarre things that were put on young men in the Wild West times to prevent masturbation.

But the main point is not the clothespin. Mainly it is that he is abusive. But you say abusive and you're like, yeah that's bad.. but normal. I mean look at the guy Jake killed. Now that was abusive right? But the clothes pin line really makes you go, What the hell is going on?
 And makes everything that much more creepy just because a normal household item is placed somewhere where it shouldn't be. Interesting how something out of place can be terrifying.

"Spotlight" gave me nightmares

I watched Spotlight and it was weird to hear Fr. Callahan's name come up. Basically there are three Jesuit priests who heavily influenced me and who I respected immensely even though I did not consider myself a Catholic when I knew them. I was baptized, but I never got into it, and when i went to Nativity, I just thought that Buddhism was more reasonable.. but actually all I really considered Buddhism, was just meditation. I wouldn't say I am atheist now, I could still consider myself Catholic, or ai Do Catholicism, like a walk, or I swim, or I do Kung Fu , or White Crane or Hung Bak Choi, I don;t see such rigid lines.

But in any case. The first Priest I talked and philosophized most with was Fr. Cullen. In highschool I got a letter from Nativity that there had been an accusation against him that he had asked a boy to touch his penis and that it had been settled out of court. Some of the Nativity Alumn I talked to were pissed because they said, "That never happened." But I said, "Why would someone lie about that? For money?" It's possible. But I do remember him taking a well developed boy aside when we were changing, which was strange and, in full view of everyone, admiring his muscles etc. But at the time I didn't think anything of it.

Anyway, a lot of what I heard about the studies about why priests may molest boys was from  him too. He taught in class that if you cut off the possibility of marriage, that in a certain number of priests they will have these thoughts and perversions.

Okay. So I still have fond memories of Fr. Cullen, despite the accusation, but if he did that, obviously that is wrong. And based on what I saw myself, and the code words of being put out to retirement homes. It's possible. In fact, it's likely isn't it? But I just don't want to admit it to myself.

Fr. Callahan... I wrote a whole speech about how much I respected him at a B.C. High Fr. Callahan dinner which got a standing ovation, which was initiated by Mike Barnacle. Fr. Callahan once said to me, "There will always be room in Jesuit order for you if you decide to take that route." He said that even though at the time I was not Catholic. My Mother was proud, because she was.. though lapsed.. and also more Buddhist by then. But still that was how she was raised.

His name popped up in the movie, and it wasn't that he had done anything, but it was implied that maybe he knew something about it and was part of the system that protects priests that are abusers... I don't know.


So the last priest that is the hero of my childhood is Fr. Hick's, who spoke at my mother's funeral. Some people would say we didn't have a funeral. I say we had simple one at the grave site.

He taught Algebra in the Middle East and was very open minded. He always seemed to be a priest that, yes was part of the church, but was simultaneously outside of it. I can't imagine that we would have anything to do with any of this.

Now of course there are a lot of younger priests who wouldn't have anything to do with this either but honestly, I have never found any of them to be very inspiring.

In any case I had a nightmare about Fr. Cullen after watching Spotlight. It wasn't my first nightmare about him. The first one he had a heart attack in the dream and I tried to start his heart again by pushing on it, a cross between CPR and magic. It turned out, he had actually had a heart attack right around the same time I had the dream.

But in this dream, (he has passed away now for almost 5 years or so) he appeared as a shadow... a demon version of himself. I had my fists up to defend my self, to jab into the demon face to protect myself from getting close. But at the same time i appealed to his other side crying out, "Help!" but I was cursed his demon side so I said, "Help me motherfucker!" it was a strange thing to cry out but I cried it out as loud as I could over and over... which came out as barely a whisper. or something.. in any case it was loud enough that Grace heard me and said, "Honey!" and woke me up from my nightmare. We started cracking up because that was some craziness.

Palm Sunday Kung Fu and Lion Dance class March 20th

Looking for something to do on Palm Sunday but you aren't particularly religious?
I will be having a Kung Fu and Lion Dance class by Jamaica Pond behind the JP soccer field at 10:00am. where the Pinebank mansion use to be located.

The class is open to everyone and will be very kid friendly.

But it will also be connected to a broader Kung Fu culture

This video, put together by Mandy Chan shows a Kung Fu event that I took part in. I am the bald guy wit the Tiger Fork.

We will have Meditation and Tai Chi warm ups, Lion Dance, story time, a power animal and element craft, Basic Kung Fu and self defense, performance of Kung Fu with drumming, Weapons (they will be kid appropriate) and we will end with some songs and the unofficial singing and explanation of the Kung Fu anthem, Nam Yi Dong Ji Kerng

It will be a lot of fun, and though we will cover a lot of material, there will be basic things you will be able to take away from the class and practice at home. 

This class is free and open to the public but I do ask that you make a donation to support me. After all my equipment, my time and my Kung Fu skills are valuable and hard to come buy.

Suggested Donation:$20

Superstitions

It's strange. I have been acting strangely recently and I have been running into more and more people who knew my parents. Some meetings were arranged but some were random. It's as if their presence around me was stronger. I got a call from my aunt  and she said she was having a hard time with surgery etc. and then a call from another aunt and I hear she the first aunt is in a coma.

I talked with her a while and she mentioned that she was inspired by how my mother lived her life. This struck me. Because I feel like recently I have been suddenly behaving more like my mom, in that I was breaking certain rules the way she would do when she was younger. When she was older she became more vulnerable I guess.

Why would I think that these things are connected?
I don't know I just feel like their spirits are close and close to my aunt that is having a hard time right now.

What does this mean for me? Well it means I will have to do my best to help the family that is alive I think. The next generation. The young ones and the youngest little ones. That's what I think.

And more meditation I suppose.

And do my classes and continue doing my work, without fear and remember the spirit of my father and mother.

Some people would say they didn't want to shatter my image of my parents.. like if I thought they were saints and I saw their faults. But the truth is, the saints were just regular people, some of them extremely flawed, but with good connections.

You cannot shatter your image... or rather you should shatter that image and breathe in their spirit close to you and live them out for them.

Something is happening. I feel it. There is sadness and sorrow for my cousins, but that is not all I feel. Something good is coming, something is being pushed toward.. a truth, a wholeness, I don't know what it is. But I am striking around blindly to find it. People will look at my recent behavior and think that I am crazy. I am perhaps going through the world feeling it in a different way than a normal person... differently than a normal modern person anyway. But I am ... I don't know, it's as if something in the spirit world has already happened, and in order to breakthrough to make that manifest in the physical world I have to feel around for a hand hold.

Knowing your family history

Doctors tell you it's pretty important to know your family history, in terms of what runs in the family regarding heart disease etc. As far as I can tell it looked like I was screwed on both sides in that regard (though there are some Polish Super genes on my mom's side... but did those come out in me? not sure.)

But I also feel like it is important to know the personalities of your family. Granted I have two boys, and they have very different personalities. I learn just from seeing them about myself.
But I think other traits and tendencies run in the family too. Like Personality.

For instance, I knew from a young age that my Dad was addicted to gambling, so I don't gamble.

I don't drink either, but it's mainly because I have low tolerance to begin with.

On my mother's side it was surprising to find out that I had someone from my grandmother's generation or even before that who was a drug addict. So when that manifests itself in the family later on... well  it just seems less surprising.

Today I learned something surprising though. I learned that my dad did Cocaine. The reason why I found this surprising is because in school you have the drug education class and they tell you that if you try cocaine once, it gets into your fat so that you will always have an urge to have it. I.e. you will never not be an addict.

But the thing is, my dad had a job took care of me.

I mean the two professions that I know of that are famous for cocaine are restaurant worker, and Finance guy, like wall street type. Cocaine is a stimulant so maybe in these instances it actually enables you to do your job better.

So it's different than Heroin in that respect.

But really what I am getting at is this. If all these people can do drugs and still be functional in society, have all sorts of business going on etc. ...What excuse now does the person have you cannot get a job, or cannot take responsibility? You know what I am saying?

Obviously different substances affect people differently. Like some people are addicted to food. That trait runs in my family as well.

I guess what I am saying is if my Dad could do all those things. whatever maybe all these ventures and working sort of failed. But if he could do all that, some good stuff some bad stuff and he didn't speak English.... then I can do even more than what I am doing right now. Sleep is important. Health is important. But I have sort of under extended myself recently. So it's okay to try and do more Kung Fu classes around the city...and I suppose for  me, Lion Dance and Kung Fu is like my version of cocaine and gambling.