With determination

I saw a self help mean that said to start the day with determination. I realize that a lot of guys... people... who seem more successful wake up early and work out. Im not really concerned about how little I work out. I tend to start the day sipping tea and staring out the window at the deer in the woods.

Buy perhaps I would feel different if I woke up earlier and did some bad ass Kung fu. Should I?

Wasted potential

Have you ever worried about wasted potential? Wondered... what am I doing with my life? I have. I have thought about what I would do if I had a million dollars
Or this or that... and I have realized that money is actually holding back in anyway. I mean pretty much I must do what I am doing no matter what... which isnt much. I totally binge watched a ton of Netflix thia week. I realize that my father would binge watch TVB tapes as well despite having 12 hour restaurant shifts and then his other side job which was to watch (and play) at a gambling house.

Does it really matter too much what yoy house looks like or where it is located if you are watchinh in the dark?

I don't feel that this activity is waste of time either. Sure if it is my whole life that is kind of lame. So the question is not so much what should I be doing instead of what I am doing... but in addition too.

Vacation

I've been binge watching Marvel stuff on Netflix. Its weird how you can actually feel like you are accomplishing something.
I sort of tried to adapt the Rashneeshpuram meditation to Kung Fu. Yesterday I did two quick sessions. Its surprisingly tiring. I'll try to fit some in today. Eventually I want to try 3-5 sessions a day and also regular basics and practice as well.

Snow day tv watching

Jonah was sick and then we had a snow day... which meant that I watched a giod deal of TV. First I finally saw Abacus: small enough to jail.

It kind of made me want to open up an account at the bank just to show support lol. My first bank account was at Asian American Bank. I liked how the symbol was a Kei Lun and I knew a lot of the people who worked there.

I tried to date one of the tellers actually. And then later I would become a bank teller at another bank and get hit on by men and older women.

Asian American Bank got bought out and the owners were pretty freaking happy I think. It was before all the mortgahe trouble and all that. I wonder, if they had not been bought out, if they would have had a similar trial by fire as Abacus did.

Then I watched Wild wild country. Its a documentary about Rashneeshpuram in Oregon which existed between 1981-85.

I never heard of it. Pretty crazy stuff.

Then  I started playing guitar again and wondered why I haven't been.

St. Patrick's day

I sort of felt like we did St. Patrick's Day last weekend because that is when we went to a parade. The 17th was actually my first official day teaching Kung Fu Class at Murray Hill Chinese school. All the previous classes I taught were lion dance classes and I have a feeling I'm not really going to see the two students I trained for the CNY performance that much.

The class I ak teaching now is Kung Fu first, but I snuck in some lions and dragons and drums. Drummers are actually a hot commodity in the lion dance world because for some reason... not that many lion dancers can drum. To br honest... I heard the drum and I could do it. Of course I still had tips and improvements. Yes I've gotten better... but basically  I could just play. And that is actually true of a lot of drummers for lion dance.

But I also know that the skill can be trained. So I handed out 10 pairs of rolled up magazines and we did drumming meditation and stretching. The drumsticks were held for Chuen pow cup... and then used for light sabre dagger fencing...ie. the kids play fought with the them under the condition that they didnt actually hit or hurt each other. It was just for a few minutes but I figured it was important to introduce the concept of fighting in their minds and not through a static drill that might not even be that effective. Better to break up the class with some fun.

So my St. Patrick's day wasn't that Irish.

Then I realized that Grace's cousin had sent me a picture of tha parade the week before... of himself! Marching and playing the bag pipes... suddenly I totally aanted to do that. Truth is as a kid, I wanted to do lion dance... and bag pipes. Hell maybe both at the same time.

Maybe this is a sign that I should get on that.

Forced basics

Noah's Kung Fu looked really good yesterday. He could even do roundhouse kicks and sweeps I thought were beyond his ability. He looked as good that I taught when we did 100 basics for class...is ut because asnpunishment he had to do 90? Does doing more basics enable you, even within the same class to perfirm your forms better? He said it was because he was angry for being punished.

In any case we all worked hardbat Kung Fu yesterday because I was also pissed that he wasn't listening and out it into my Kung Fu. Instead if Chap sau I yelled Chap Shao! We were tired and cracking up from being tired. We did three round of everything except lion danve... because I forgot and by the time we stopped it was dinner time.

Basically I realize that there really is no getting around skipping aspects of the class. Basics are importantband so are meditation and stretches and calisthenics. And inside all of this I am trying to add in ground fighting and jiu jitsu mives just ti expose them to it. But they will not "roll" the kicks come out and also they cannot do the jiu jitsu moves... not really.

I think they woukd have to lose to children there age who are also weaker to understand.

BRITANNIA

I've been watching this on Amazon.. and so had Noah. Too violent for Jonah. I think they ttied for aspects of historical accuracy because I read the book entitked the Druids and aome of the events recorded by the Romans appear in this show, the response to the dead by burying the messenger with a note in his mouth in particular. Woukd live to know what Joe Callahan blogger on Arete has to say about it, given his expertise in history and his own genetic background.

Basically I ended uo having some deep conversations with Noah about racism that were easier for me since the cast, although it has black romans... basically the savages are white. And therr is disiote about how the Druids really were given that most of the history about them thay has survived is written by the Romans.

But see if we are watching Naruto or something American depicting Chinese or African Americans....well it gets complicated. I mean we watched Black Panther, and although black people seem to love the movie now....I wonder if it would be considered racist or blackploitation in 50 years.

Anyway befor e Black Panther, and I do believe that Levar Burton's assessment that the movie is probably a turning point especially since it made so much money.

Shows about White Savages were so popular. Because everyone would watch it. Black people will enjoy it despite a lack of representation, because it is depicting whites in a way that people of color were often depicted in movies pre 1960.

And white racists woukd love the same media because it is often about their pantheons. Think Vikings.

Anyway, if I talk to Noah about representation, even when talking about Asians I will have to dabce around a ton of political correctness because not only will Noah repeat what is said... he will get the terminology all mixed up and then all this bs will be pinned on me.

However if I talk about Romans and Druids people have nothing to say about the poltical correct terms of either group.

Even many Nordic people find the word Viking to be offensive because it means pirate and not all people in Iceland were robbers on the high seas. Many did not participate, choosing dairy farming instead.

I mean the only people who could possibly get offended woukd be a Latin teacher or a historian of the Druids. I think they would give Noah a pass.

It's also interesting how race is not yet quite in the structure that is in today. Again there are pale skinned barbarians. And there are Dark skinned Romans. And since being Roman or speaking Latin is that time periods equivalent of being "white" today... well you see its just an interesting concept. That there can be racism that isn't based on color, but more so on language.

Group leadership

My punishment for Noah when I get emails from school is thatbonstead of doing chuen pow cup... we have to do all the basics. So there us a consequence for the whole group for his behavior... that actually is something we shoukd be doing anyway. When I taught littke Kelly and August and Brandon, who are now in college and highschool, we always did All of the basics each class. Grabted those classes were once irbtwice a week, and these classes are every day. Plus we have other stuff to do. Lion Dance, fighting forms... I found it ironic that having done all the basics, we finished earlier yesterday. Its because I didnt try to teach them any ground fighti g or grappling moves for break.

The truth is, even though the i ternet us sull of BJJ instruction for a few moves... thise moves are actually pretty complicated and difficult to do. Thats why there are so many instruction videos.

Could I get as complicated about a punch? Yes probably, but I don't think it woukd help. And it is also true that my kids punches leave a lot ti be desired, especially Jonah... but then its not like they can't punch at all. The answer is of course... more basics.

Group punishment

I have been reading Noah a book called Sadaharu Oh. He was a Japanese baseball player... also Chinese because his father was Chinese and in Japan, you don't get to become a citizen for being born in ghe country like in the US.

Anyway, he talks about being pu ished as a group. Like the team woukd have to slap each other if one person made a stupid mistake abd how that built group dynamics.

I have seen this done badly in BPS mainly because all the boys received punishment but not the girls... but more on this another time

Nice cover

Once when I worked as a bank teller a Si Hing of mine visiting from Chicago daw me getting ready for work.

"Nice collared shirt..... nice tie...stable job.....Good cover!" He joked.

From now until I pick uo my kids I will play at the daily grind...which in all honesty for me is easier than a lot of people's jobs.

But I do want to get to the point where I am teaching Kung Fu or doing my mystical crazy dances and arttistic stuff and that is my main identity. I'VE GOT BUSINESD CARDS LOL!

Merlin

I found the perfect show to watch with Noah leading up to St. Patick's day. I live atuff about the Druids and magic. But in that nasty way where they show the flaws of those beliefs too.

I'm obsessed withe the Merlin story and all that kind of stuff, which seems u related, but most of the stuff I read tries to tie Merlin to the Druids, rightly or wrongly.

I guess I woukd love to go around in the world drumming and lion dancing and storytellibg but also meditating and doing the esoteric stuff as a way of life... and I realize writing this... what is stopping me. People actually make living teacjing Kung Fu, wushu even, after clearing rent and have asked if I would teach lion dance and work with them. Some people make a living teaching traditional Kung Fu which is out of fashion and people travel quite far to go to their school.

At first I feel I wouldnt want to open a school for various reasons, but a chain of schools that teach various artistic movements, yes Kung Fu, MMA, weapons fighting... but also playing with lightsabers or playing pirate, making lion heads out of cardboard and drums out of buckets....something more open andnout there.... that woukd be more up my alley. The money maker would be birthday parties and events.

I always think of a school as a place that I had to teach and protect, which sojnds like being chained. But if it is a chain that collects money, a business that I run. Like McDonalds....exceot healthy and creatuve and inspiring, the good stuff without the bad... that woukd be awesome.

The concepts and spirit of what I learned and love, even with some of the core movements retained, but not so much that it would hold a business or movement back.

This idea I was afraid of... or I saw as impossible... but the nore I think about it, it isn't.

What is even closer though is me going around doing what I have always done, lion dab e and Kung Fu.... but what not put on the mask of other seasons and holidays as well. Other creatures... yes I was doing thatbin Boston, my eagle and my Kei Lun were tossed in the move but I can make new ones.... just because people are hiring me for "real" lion dance ( which people take very seriously in NJ in terms of choreography and drumming... but nobody even bothets to buy gongs and cymbals... go figure)

Doesnt mean I can't make a deer and a wolf head and fashion a bodrhan out of tape and an old basketball hoop.

I yearn to teach a Kung Fu... that honestly needs to be called something else, as it might not be recognized as Chinese to someone whose eyes cannot see.

Something that touches deeper andbhits the more universal. A Dragon dance that is like the Dragon ranging from the pendragon to the Naga and the luong.

A Nian beast that is the questing beast and the southern lion, and buraks and kei luns and unicorns and even creatures from my own dreams.

I don't want to limit myself with tradition, but to unlock that feared place of the human psyche with it while still looking to science...

Snowy Chinatown

I'm not sure how Boston's Chinatiwn is fairing in this snowstorm... but if I were to net if dim sum is open or closed I would bet that it is open. When I lived in Castle Court and then later stayed at Tai Tung I never really understood the effevts of a snow storm per se, other than that the world bevame quieter and more of a playground. The bousing projects took care of shoveling, and so I only ever shovelled to help others. I had heard of kids making money to sho el, but at some point all the buildings in the area hired professionals to take care of it and so a tenant had nothing to do with snow removal.

The restaurants were always open and a giid number of the workers lived within walking distance. Heck, I would still go to work because yhe work place had heat... and internet... and more often than not it would be a quiet day.

But better way to ease cabin fever than to sit in a hot restauarabt and drink hot tea and have some dim sum, or if at night just whatever the regular menu offered. I remember back then I only ever ordered tien gai bo when eating iut because I rarely ate out, and I preferred to eat something difficult to make....actually thats what the restaurant guys I roomed with all said and I figured they knew what they were talking about.

To be honest, though NJ doesnt have a Chinatown, the rules are the same. When NJ got hit bad with snow we went to a Chinese Take out place (still good!) That was running on a generator. The customets were snow removal workers and us. The family's kids played quietly and nicley in the booths, (not like our kids)

So.... is Boston Chinatown open today in the snow?

If there is a law against it

I already knew this... but more and more I am realizing if there us a law against something, its because people do that all the time. Find something that people do everyday and there is probably a law against it.

Like when something happens in the news and people shake their heads and say its the way of the world and nothing can be done... I guarantee there is some kind of law already in place that just isn't being enforced.

And anything you could think of there is also a law somewhere against that and maybe even a law saying you can't make that law.

And in the end... people continue to do what they do. Kind of makes you wonder.

Troubles

We went to a St Patrick's day parade today, which was great. But increasingly we are ha ing trouble with my children's behavior or rather the effect that my children's behavior has on the family unit.

Right now I am ignoring the situation actually because I feel that if I stepped in it would only increase the problem.  I have said to friends that what pushes my buttons is stuff surrounding my kids. I will get very angry quickly. Right now, Noah is crying bloody murder over stuff like being ou sihed for not eating his food. At this point I don't know who is right or wrong.

Ir rather I feel that everyone is wrong and the household needs a regime change. I. Some ways the truth is that despite everything, I am actually more in charhe than other men who are breafwinners are of their households.

A week ago I felt that Xi Jinping was overstepping bounds.... but given todays events, I can see his logic.

The logic is " I watched and waited while yall tried to work stuff out... and now I realize things will only work if I am in complete and utter control."

Thats how I feel now. Of course that cannot happen even if I was the bread winner. The mere fact thatone has to earn instead of create shows lack of control.

Kung Fu classes

I have these Kung Fu classes that geel like they will never start...everytime they almost start it ends up there is an event or something. I am teachibg the class midsemester and I have decided sincebthe kids already learned some hand form and ninchucks from another teacher, that the best thing to do us show them a staff form. That way everyone will feel theu are learning somethi g new. Of course even if I taught a hand form it woukd be different, but they might geel they are being forced to start over. Plus there are aspects of the staff that are going to be really easy, and other aspects that are difficult.

I think there needs to be some form of playing that involves free play  not quite sparring two person exercise. Maybe even ground techniques. There are no mats so nothing really hard. Nothing where anyone can get hurt. But definitely they need to be able to see what all the stances, movements, and techniques are for.