A haunting misunderstanding.

The other day I was working on something or other, when Jonah ran to me crying. I tried to fifure out what it was that was scaring him. Occasionally he will suddenly become scared of this toy or that toy after staring at it's face for too long.
"The girl."
"What girl. Show me the girl."
"Right there." he said as I followed him over to the other room. He was pointing at black space

After asking him to point several times he said, next to the door. The girl with the sad face. What color is her hair? Brown. Is she a little girl or a big girl? She's a big girl like mommy.

Of course Jonah is two so his answers weren't that clear and I wanted to make sure I wasn't putting words in his mouth by asking yes or no questions. But I was becoming mildly disturbed. I do happen to believe in spirits and ghosts. But since different cultures have different opinions of them, I no longer believe that they necessarily have to be destroyed, or that they necessarily exist outside of our minds. Or rather they exist in our Mind but does the mind exist outside of the brain? Well the main point is, could I just ignore this? Was I being effected negatively in anyway? I suppose I was making some poor decisions recently and those books that were missing and would suddenly appear was weird. Grace was all for these items being moved by spirits.
But my beliefs are that spirits can only act through human action. So either way it was Jonah moving the objects around. Noah didn't see what Jonah saw and neither did Grace...


Then the next day he started talking about that girl again. Except it was now a boy and a girl. And I found  some duplo faces of a boy on one side and a girl on the other. We had put them in the closet of scaring things along with Hulk, a dinosaur, and some snacks. Snacks on scary, but the scary things protect the snacks. Anyway, I guess these duplos which are no more than a cubic inch or so in size fell out and onto the floor. Ahhhh. I guess that makes more sense than ghosts. But it was funny that we believed it was a ghost to the point where we were at least mildly freaked out by Jonah seeing something. But again, it wasn't completely his imagination either. He saw a physical plastic thing. But I was looking for a picture on the wall or something. Not a duplo lying on the ground. Actually at first I thought he was talking about the Rapunzel doll on the mantle until he told me that was not it.

An interesting Baptism

We had the boys Baptized yesterday after Church. It was much more difficult than I imagined. They wouldn't stop moving or asking questions, not just about the ritual itself, but like everything. Noah didn't want to listen to a thing the priest was saying, he just wanted to jump around and ask me why the Earth went around the sun. But every time he asked that I kept thinking ,"Gallileo."
Not sure why.
There was another child also being baptized, and I can totally see now, why they baptize the kids at that age, when they can move, or talk.

When Noah realized they were going to put water on his head he started freaking out and part of me though the water was going to go up in steam and burn his skin, like that girl from the exorcist. Or at least I thought I should explain that my kid is not a devil, but just doesn't like water on his face. Did we get pictures of that?

But I skipped the introductions and some of the questioning. Fr. Shen talked to Grace about her getting baptized later, and mentioned to me that she was quite beautiful. I felt like he was being polite. Grace felt she was being hit on. I think it's just a cultural thing.

Then we started talking about the meaning of the names Noah and Jonah, and I realized I didn't really know much about Jonah's story. So Fr Shen explained.

Then we got to Noah's and I knew that one, so I started telling the story to Grace at the request of Fr. Shen. (Grace preferred to read the New Testament.) But in a weird way, I felt like the story was almost inappropriate for Church. Does that even make sense? Well the story is the angels were getting it on with all the human women and creating giants and the world was corrupt so God decides he's going to kill everyone and start over.
Then I thought I'd talk about Noah's brother. So I did. Then I realized that version of the story with Noah's brother is from the Koran, so I started back pedaling big time.

Then Noah jumped off of something onto some other thing so I had to go stop that.

There were also a lot of questions at the Baptism and Grace was like, "I think your were supposed to study for those." I was only at two baptisms before and one of them was my own, so I don't remember much about that.

Some of them were pretty straight forward.

"Do you renounce Satan?"

"Ummm yeah sure." I thought. Why would I be for evil? I mean I guess my view of Satan is closer to the Jewish view, where he is sort of just an argument against God but is actually work for Gos. More like Severus Snape and less like Voldemort. And Dumbledore would be God. But in the Catholic view, if he's just Voldemort. Yeah I renounce that.

"I do." I said.

And then as the questions went on I sort of started getting solemn and holy feeling. Like there was light emanating and I was taking on a serious quest and had found my calling.
Then Noah would whisper extremely loudly in my ear, "Why's that guy talking?"

Well we did that. They are baptized. And depsite Noah wanting to play with the candles, we managed to keep the Church in harmed too.
On to the next step.

Aquarium pass blunder

I scheduled a pass to go to the aquarium on Monday, but what with the children's Baptism today and several other things I forgot to pick it up. The Library is not open today so I won't be able to pick up this pass until the day I have to use it, Monday, at 12pm. Originally I had planned to take Jonah to the aquarium from like 10am until around noon. Maybe get lunch at Haymarket. I know it's silly to worry about such a small thing. But I did. Basically I woke up at 3am today and suddenly remembered this and realized there was nothing I could really do about it. Maybe the library opens at 9am on Monday I hoped. But it doesn't open until 12. So my plans will have to change. If I take Jonah in the afternoon, he may very well fall asleep. Which makes me think, maybe I should just take both kids in the evening. Would that work? I would have to pick Noah up early I think. Otherwise I could end up being late to pick up Noah.

Then I started feeling guilty that I've been taking to Jonah to all of these things by himself. I know that if Noah knew that, he would be upset. Hmmm.

Well actually it looks like the Aquarium always closes at 6pm too.  I guess me and Jonah will go there for lunch. So 12pm until he falls asleep. I don't see what else I can do. Maybe I'll push his nap back. Why didn't I just pick these things up yesterday? Because it had slipped my mind that the Library wouldn't be open on Sunday.

Sifu Noah

I ended up cancelling class today because of the weather, but I had promised to let Noah teach and to go over the class schedule with him. So we did and tried to have class inside the house.
 We came up with the following schedule.

1. Freestyle

2. sword

3. Song

4. Drawing

5. Exercise

6. Push hands

7. 100 Hits

8. Slow Spar

9. Meditation

10. Play

We got to number four and frankly, Noah really dragged our "class" down because he only wanted to watch at first while Dai Dai did everything. At some point I threatened to just stop the class and then he said he would do it. We ended up really just doing the regular class we usually do inside with drums etc. Which is fine. But here is what I have in mind for  using this schedule outside. After all , it gets me to see what activities Noah wants to do.

For Free style inside I had the kids do their Free style forms one at a time to the drum. I guess outside everyone can do their own Kung Fu. to warm up. Eventually, when my kids can carry their own stuff they can all go through the fist stick knife spear sword by themselves with their own equipment.

For Sword we will do drills with the pool noodles. Sparring each other in partners or relay style or both.

Song. This is the wheels on the bus and other games we do.

Drawing. This is doing journals with crayons When they are older I suppose they could actually write in their journals. It's a good way to take a break physically

Exercise. This is stuff like squats, push-ups, sit ups etc. Maybe even laps or running in place. Basic punches and kicks too. It can change week to week. Road work. 

Push hands. I'm going to make push hands a bigger part of our training. It will be done in pairs, and the main thing to focus on is actually just not to hurt each other. Even if the kids sacrifice the martial aspect of the drill that's better than having to stop people from doing it in a way that might hurt each other. And also it's just to difficult to make people do it a certain way. There is so many different kinds of push hands and sticky hands, and I noticed that most kids just want to do it without actually "learning" it and they actually won't hurt each other at all, as long as they go about it in that way. So it's not "real" push hands. But I realize that there is a lot to be gained from working in partners, trying to relax, and trying to stick to the other person. It's fun too.

100 hits. That's pretty self explanatory. But as they get older it can go up to 300 or something.

Slow Spar, This is slow motion play sparring. I guess you do real moves but you have to be slow and definitely make sure first and foremost not to hurt each other, probably even not touch each other. I noticed when children play like this, they can get a lot out of this without getting hurt. Besides full force and full speed are used with the pool noodles. 

Meditation. Probably not sitting mediation. Maybe this would also be done on your own and in your own way, either through poses movements, etc. The easiest thing is to just say, "Find your own space and meditate in your own way.

Play. This is just going and playing as the kids always do eventually anyway. But it's listed because it's also important part of group dynamics etc.

Originally I only wanted 5 things listed. But I guess as the kids get older we will be able to do more things. How long would this class of 10 things take? I think at least 2 hours unless everything was really rushed.

Glug Glug jug

Jonah likes going into the bathroom filling up an aluminum water bottle with water and pouring it all down the drain. It's a waste of water of course.
Recently Grace bought a Glug Glug jug. It is a pitcher made to look like a fish. Not only this, when you tip it to pour out water it air is let into the handle. When the pitcher is set up right again an air pocket is created and the bubbles are temporarily trapped. As they bubble out, they make a glug glug sound.

This is pretty entertaining for the kids, they could do it all day, and I knew that so I had them take turns pouring water into a bucket and then we refill the pitcher. Noah eventually figured out how to do it , sort of. Jonah somehow always manages to pour the water from the side so that it doesn't always make the sound. They could do this all day, but I'm afraid that at some point, the ceramic pitcher will be dropped and someone will be cut. Or at the very least there will be water everywhere. I guess that's not so bad though.

By the time they have the motor skills to play with such a jug with out dropping it, will they still find it interesting?

Easter Egg Hunt

I didn't get a chance to recap this event earlier.

Noah really enjoyed making Easter Eggs together. But Jonah didn't really get the concept of decorating eggs, He just wanted to break them open, and then eat them. Only before finishing one egg and eating it, he kept on moving on to the next egg. The result was I made a lot more eggs than we were finally able to eat. But first to the hunt.

We did Church and then went home and I quickly real eggs as well as chocolate stuff in the back yard (which we borrowed from our neighbor.)

I was expecting more screaming and yelling but ultimately the hunt involved two kids and there were more eggs than could fit in their baskets. After their baskets were filled they didn't really feel the need to get more.
"I won!" Noah said. Yes yes you won Easter.
To get them to "find" the rest of the eggs I had to get them to dump their loot with me and then go find the rest. Jonah didn't really seem to get was going on exactly, and I was worried that the eggs would be uneven so I said we had to divide our loot evenly like good pirates. (We've been doing a lot of Pirate stiff thanks to Peppa Pig.)
But they weren't that worried about it. They was so much chocolate. In fact there was no way I was going to allow them to eat all that anyway. It kind of made me wonder if there was a better way of going about this.


Anyway. I ate gite a few eggs and Grace made egg salad over the next coupe of days. Oh yeah, this year our eggs actually looked like Easter eggs because instead of a mixture of water and vinegar, it was straight Vinegar. But this whole week Noah has been asking to decorate more eggs. I don't have a problem with that, except that we hadn't finished the eggs we made yet. And then at some point, I ate an egg salad sandwhich that Jonah had left out, and I had stomach pain all that night. I was afraid to try the stuff that had stayed in the fridge, and nobody else in the family seemed to understand the importance of finishing the Easter eggs first before buying or eating scrambled eggs or other forms of protein.

I recall wooden and even a special polished stone egg from my childhood. Maybe we should do stuff like that. Or I could do what they do for another Holiday (the name of which I forgot) where the egg yolk and white is taken out of the shell by means of a pin and then the shell is decorated. Then I could just save the shells a few weeks earlier. I think they stuff them with confetti and throw them at people. I could have done something like that at the Kung Fu park. Well next year maybe.

Raise your banners

Ever since I saw Seven Samurai I always wanted a flag like the one they made out of two sticks and a cloth with six circles and a triangle. Not those particular symbols. I just liked how simple the flag was, how small it was (our Kung Fu flags are usually quite large and somewhat ungainly) I think at some point in the movie somebody straps the flag onto themselves, which means in theory that you could have a flag and say, play drum or something like that, and no matter whether the wind is blowing or not you can see the flag because of the stick at the top.

It's not as good looking as the huge Kung Fu flags, but a small flag has it's uses. Especially for a small group.

In fact a lot of the banners advertising things now seem to be a modernization of that flag. Instead of two sticks it is one curved metal pipe and the nylon banner reads T-Mobile or whatever.

Yesterday, I decided to make a family banner for the Wake Up the Earth Parade on May 3rd. I spent all this time cutting out a T-shirt and ended up writing the kids names in Chinese, one on each side of the flag, in ink. It took a long time and looked pretty crappy. And then when Noah got home he was pissed because he wanted to make his own flag. I was going to have them just paint on the flag after I wrote the names.

For someone who doesn't read Chinese, they just see pretty (well crude in my case) Chinese Characters no matter what it says. And for my boys reading it, they might as well get familiar with the characters for their name. But the more I looked at how crappy and tattered the flag looked I thought somebody with the Cheung family name might get offended to see their name on such a tattered cloth. And if I wrote White Crane, same thing. I scrapped that, made another flag staff with Noah and went with paper flags, and had them paint them. And the more I thought about it, nothing could possibly symbolize what our Kung Fu playgroup is about more than a flag in an Ancient Chinese or (Medieval Japanese) style put for symbols having multi-colored finger painting.

Apparently when I went to take out the trash the kid sgot all excited and started marching around with their banners and everything. Wel now they are bugging me to do a class so I will.

One Last Ride

Walking to school today I came across a tricycle someone was throwing away to be recycled. It was identical to a tricycle we already own.  Rather than have it be crushed immediately by the compacter I took it down and tried to get Noah to ride it. He didn't want to take it. He said he wanted them to throw it away instead. So I put Jonah on it. After a while Noah was jumping up and down in protest.
Eventually Noah was on the tricycle and Jonah was on my shoulders. At first I was just going to take it to Stony Brook and leave it at the playground there. And if someone else took it, that was still better than having it be thrown away, and at least this would be garbage would get on last ride. But the more I thought about it, why not take it all the way in to Chinatown. And after all, the whole fear of not bringing it in to school was that there was no place to put it right? But again, if someone took it, that's better than the trash heap right?

Well Noah has a grand old time and a tricycle seat on the subway. It actually took up less space than a stroller because I could stand over it and all three of us only took up the space of one person.

I left the tricycle in the playground area at Acorn and dropped Noah off. Then Jonah rode back on it all the way to Green street and we rode it to the tot lot. I considered leaving it at the tot lot briefly. But there are a ton of tricycles there already and the more I thought about it, it's good to have two identical tricycles one for each kid. And it's also good to have a spare that could become a throw away at any time if necessary. That way we actually get to ride it out into the world and have tricycle adventures. And so the tricycle was ridden most of the way back from the tot lot as well. Though pushing Jonah I quickly remembered why I had stopped bringing out our tricycle which is locked up in a shed. (I will have to take a hack saw to that soon because the key is lost and frankly the lock is rusted anyway.)

Jonah can't steer and it is just frustrating and difficult. But Noah can steer much better now, and after a time, Jonah actually did get better. And again, if necessary, this Tricycle can become a cast aside item at any time and I am sure that someone else will pick it up if it is still good. And if not, I gave it more life than it would have had if the garbage truck of toy death had taken it away today.

Churching on Easter

Well we did the Church thing as a family on Easter. Noah has had it with Church I think. And Jonah, who really wanted to come and dress up, I guess didn't realize what it was. There was a speaker in Cantonese. I think he was from Hong Kong because he looked Indian. And why else would you speak such fluent Cantonese unless you were from Hong Kong. But people sometimes assume the same thing about me, but anyway that is my immediate stereotypical guess.
"That guys talking! Why's he talking?" said Jonah really loud. Come to think about it we've never been in a place where one person is talking and a bunch of people are just sitting there listening.

Grace eventually took Jonah downstairs. Noah hid and drew in his journal, which is okay by me. Then he started running along the bench. Which is not okay by me. I know I said I was going to drop him with the group of children, but there are a few differences between them and him. First of all they are older. Secondly, we came in a little late and I can't just drop him off without handing him to a teacher. I suppose when he is older I can. But when I can do that, he can probably also sit with me, and sitting with the kids would be more of a social thing.


Well we made it through Church, and on the way out Fr. Shen made to bless us. The problem is the first part of the Catholic blessing looks a lot like the bow in Woo Ching White Crane (whose bow is a Buddhist posture) So subconsciously my hand also came up to mirror his and there was a brief awkward moment before I tried to play it off and pretend my hand had simply been going to shake is hand. Oops.

"Next week!" I said excitedly, because next week my children will be baptized.

"Next week he nodded" smiling but probably also wondering what it was I had just done and why.


After that we came back and did our Easter Egg hunt. But that story will have to wait because Noah is bugging me to play PBS kids.

1,000 hits

Yesterday, at teh Kung Fu park, before our Qing Ming Easter, our little Kung Fu playgroup was somewhat of a disaster. Before other children arrived me and Noah hung out, played digging and did some playfighting with our hands. I tried to see if I could bring just one pool noodle because I wanted to introduce more material that didn't require me to bring so much stuff, or make me stay on top of the kids. So I was going to have them do push hands in their own way, and maybe even do slow motion sparring in their own way. Basically to learn more through play, with the emphasis on these drills being much more about not hurting each other at all, than being "realistic" Then I figured they could just use a pool noodle against me and i could just use my hands for the high speed stuff. After all, I always lose in the end and I'm not going to hurt them with my hands.


Well we started with the hello song. That was good. We did some stances, that was good, we did the wheels on the Kung Fu bus, then Noah wanted to skip to horse. Then he only wanted to do horse. Then he threw a tantrum. I tried to make it end by ignoring, moving on, or just doing horse over and over or whatever he wanted. The rest of the class moved on to relays and he was still tantrumming and now there was really no reaon to it. It made no sense, and it wasn't ending. He said he wanted to take all the turns. Basically he no longer wanted these other kids here. But even if the class is just him and Dai dai, he still has to take turns right? If I wasn't his father, he wouldn't be acting like this. And if I was just a parent in the playgroup and not the teacher, I would just remove him. What happened instead was I had to stop the playgroup. We were only 24 minutes in. Our group had started to last 45 minutes long. But then, that was with more props like heads, instruments, and other stuff. I was embarrassed and frankly angry with Noah.


Later when we left for Qing Ming he got mad because we didn't do the Goodbye song. How are we going to do the goodbye song? You were successful in your tantrumming, you destroyed the class. It's gone now. It's reputation as being a functional class is gone. You won.

Later on I talked to him about it. It made no sense. Jonah is 2 years younger and did fine. Would he do this at the little Panda class? If he did, Baba would be screwed.

I asked him what did he want. Did he want me not to teach the class anymore? This wasn't a rhetorical parenting question. The class was made for him, so he could have Kung Fu friends. Originally I had held classes at home, and he cried then because of the pressure of having all the Kung Fu teacher's attention and pressure focused on him.

"No no no."

Did he want to teach the class. That way we would follow along with him and do whatever he wanted because he would be the Sifu. At first he said yes, and I made up my mind that next week I would just help him teach class. But then he backed out of it and said maybe he would do it when he was an adult.

"Next week you're not going to be an adult."

Anyway, in my mind, next week we are going to teach the class together, and even create an itinerary together. We are going to write out what happens first then what drill comes next, etc. so that we will stick to the Plan. Actually as I write this I realize he might have tantrummed because we added new material he wasn't familiar with. He has that type of personality where things have to be done in a certain way (his way). I have observed this of his Gong gong too and frankly, it is very much the dominant Asian stereotypical personality. I'm not saying all Asians are like that. I'm just saying the ones that tend to control the society tend to be like that. So that if you are not like that in Asian society, people tend to think of you are deviant and even you yourself think of yourself as deviant. America is complicated because there is simultaneously the same ideas of confirm, but also thinking outside the box is valued in culture if not in the school.

Actually I guess the West is just as Conformist as the East. It's just that whenever anyone wins by thinking oustide the box we call it American. But our society is all about conform too.


Well, having decided that Noah would teach I let the subject drop for a while. But then washing bowls, I just couldn't Let it go. I went to where Noah was relaxing watching Peg + Cat and said, "Because of what you did at Kung Fu Park you are going to do 1,000 punches."

"Okay" he said.

And guess what, after Peg +Cat he even started without me, because I was still doing some chores.

I made him start over. Jonah joined him for the first 300 hits on the pad. And as Noah continued, different types of strikes from different forms came out. I asked him if he wanted to kick and he didn't. But the hand techniques were very dynamic in style and form. With the upper numbers he became more drunken and Tai Chi-ish with his strikes and many more double handed strikes came out.

In fact he probbaly did more like 1,400 strikes because the beginning punches I was counting for every four hits because he was punching faster than I was counting.




This type of individual training is actually quite advanced. So I guess I should just encourage him in this way. Maybe eventually do 1,000 hits every day. What else do you want? Just getting down in stance I guess.

But the class is still important for social reasons. But since he is the type of student that is willing to do 1,000 hits as long as I stand there with the pad and count. Then yeah, I suppose he is ready to teach the class right?

Qing Ming Easter

Today we did our Qing Ming Easter picnic. Noah and Jonah loved it. It was a great day, we came prepared with cheurng funs and knife and cutting board to chop up the chicken and Fau yuk. We burnt the money for My Mom, Father, and told them to deliver some money to Aunt Anne and Uncle Tommy. It was nice going later then the Qing Ming rush, when it's all crazy with parking and whole clans of people coming in and out with whole pigs. I'm not saying they judge our small family of four with our one chicken and small bone of fau yuk (which we still didn't really finish by the way. I'm just saying it feels that way.
But today there was hardly anyone there, and we had our little picnic blanket which dai dai almost fell asleep on from food coma afterward. The sun was warm. It was nice. I saw at the end that though Noah had been playing with the fire, the offering was not completely burned. This worried me a little bit. Did I have to do it over? But then I figure eventually it will disintegrate and really if anything is important, it's not necessarily the burning but the act of bowing. On fact I think that it is possible that if you did the ritual in your mind alone, or perhaps wrote it out, or did it on line or in some sort of virtual world, it would amount to the same thing. Not because it is only in your head, but because it is literally the Thought that counts. In other words, the magical transfer of money to the spirits is through thought. But by actually doing the ritual, the thought is stronger because you actually do a physical action with physical consequence involving heat, smell, sight, touching of the paper. Well I guess it would have been better if I hadn't seen that the paper wasn't burned through. But I decided to just continue to pour water over it and leave it as is. We packed up and headed home.

This was the most enjoyable Qing Ming yet, and the leftovers were our little Easter Feast. In the afternoon we made our Easter Eggs and I guess tomorrow is Church and an Easter Egg Hunt in the back yard.

What's in a name?

Jonah recently wrote his name much to the excitement of his mother. He did it all by himself. He ran out of space so the n, a, and h were all on top of each other. But still pretty cool. Usually when he is with me he makes me draw this or that or write this or that. But when he was with Grace he just wanted to show off how good he was I guess.

On the way to school he kept asking me what different combinations of letters were and if they possibly meant anything. Like "What does t-o-n-a-h mean?" Or "what does o-a-h mean?" That last one is really they end of Noah. But I think Jonah knows who to write Noah too, after all that is the second name that he pretty much sees all the time.

I guess your name is the first thing you really learn how to write and then you branch off from that into other words, using that as a sort of key or Rosetta stone to decipher the rest of the language. That is, if your language is one with an alphabet.

Jonah had actually written yun person (the Chinese character) and san mountain a long time ago. Because they are pictographs, in some ways Chinese is easier to pick up in the beginning. Because you are just naming things and drawing them like a cave man. But then of course it becomes incredibly hard. You could say i am biased because I am American born, but let's look at it this way. Ask someone from China to write a word for you in Chinese that is obscure. I think even a professor might have to pause at the word "fist" or I don't know some other random noun that isn't even that academic or difficult. That person could read or type that word right away I bet. But to write it, they will have to think. Is it this way or that way?

But in English it is fun to just put random letters together. "What does p-o-n mean?" Well nothing in English as far as I know, but it's still a word.

Can you do this in Chinese? I guess you can. It would be like doodling. In fact you can make up your own words I guess. But culturally this is looked down on. For instance, you ever hear that myth that Cantonese and Mandarin writing are the same written language? This idea is hammered into everyone so hard that people are probably laughing at my ignorance. Well then one day this guy wrote the word "tai" to see for me, instead of "hon" or "Kan" to see. It is an eye (mu) next to a little brother (dai) And even an illiterate like me can see that the sound dai and the meaning eye means to see and sounds like dai so it must mean tai. The guy was educated and was commenting on how my copy of the Three Kingdoms with English on one side and Chinese on the other was in "real" Chinese instead of a book written in "Cantonese" which is no good and isn't worth learning because it is only a dialect or a slang language.

But this was the first time I had ever heard that an entire book could be written in a "Slang" language. What Americans would call vernacular.  Anyway, Jonah can't come close to writing his name in Chinese but he wrote the Chinese Language first but in English, even though he knows the whole alphabet, it is his name that seems to be his gateway to the language in written form.

Bruce Lee-ification

I've been doing a lot more Bruce Lee moves recently. Actually I used to start a lot more Bruce Lee moves before I started training seriously at Kung Fu. And of course during breaks i would inevitably sometimes do these thing for fun in my first few years of training. So why am I doing this stuff now?

The first time recently I started doing Bruce Lee moves was for teaching kids. I got a really charged reaction whenever I pulled out Bruce Lee in the inner city, and among Chinese kids. Not ABC's but kids that were born in China. The inner city kids into it were mostly Black and Hispanic. I pulled out Bruce Lee once in JP among a whiter crowd and got blank stares. Since my classes have been younger and in JP recently I had put him to the side for a while. Also because I hadn't practiced the moves by myself, I accidentally used more of a boxer's stance and hurt myself mildly throwing the kicks.

Recently my knee had been hurting me, and for some reason the Bruce Lee horse stance, which is similar to a Japanese Swordsman's horse stance where both toes are pointing out, was just easier to get low in stretch out in, and to try and get a little cardio in the small space inside the door of our house. So I started doing it, and working on the high side kicks again.

Then I decided, that I should re-introduce him to my classes. It's fun, easy for me, and simple for the kids to pick up (or so I thought.) What I ended up doing at Little Panda was really breaking of the techniques into move forward (pause) move back (pause)  But it was new and it passed the time. You can't keep doing the same thing every week. I did the side kicks extremely slow (because it's easy for the kids to kick each other in the head) and so the focus was more on the foot work and the hand punches which are usually only used as feints to set up for the side kicks in the movies.

Also the poses and the hand movements are crane's wings and can be categorized as internal. And yet they are still fun and exciting and simple. So kids won't fall over trying to do them, or get bored. Plus I feel like I'm taking a break

Since I brought him back out and went over some more Bruce Lee combinations I could do, by myself and I realized the strategy and the combinations are unmistakably simplified combinations that are used in Sup Ji.

There is an oral history among the Tibetan White Crane branch that Bruce Lee went into Chan Hak Fu's studio and ended up getting some lessons in Singapore and joined the White Crane system to the point where Ip Man had to be considered his friend instead of his Master, and when Ip Man died Bruce Lee apparently sent flowers as a friend, instead of attending as a disciple.


However I've never read or seen anything on video to back this up. And also if Bruce Lee learned White Crane basics how come Chuen Pow cup are not part of his repertoire? And high kicks were not a big thing at our school.

Of course after teaching for a while, I realized that not every school is going to line up and do basics in necessarily the same way, even if they are the same system. And the more I really went through some Bruce Lee moves, and took out some combinations I used to do particularly Bruce Lee-ish when I performed Sup Ji as a second year student. It was unmistakable. Those were the basis of Bruce Lee's techniques, but he dramatized them and used them in his own way. Of course Sup Ji the way it exists in our school is different from the other White Crane's forms also.

But anyway,  the two combinations were combinations I had turned into short little kiddie forms previouslu. Now I realized if I broke the moves down, editing certain aspects out, dramatized them, and slowed them down, I could present the same combinations as Bruce Lee combinations. This makes me happy because I can use these same two combinations in multiple ways for the same group of kids. By presenting them differently they won't get bored, But by them being similar, they will find them easier to pick up.

Anyway, I guess I have nor proof other than that oral history rumor about Bruce Lee studying White Crane, which it seems nobody from his schools has ever acknowledged, so maybe it isn't true. But in any case. I can do Bruce Lee moves and White Crane moves simultaneously for classes and have them be based on sections on the Sup Ji form so that if anyone ever took real interest, it would be a side tracked training, but will be an example of an application of Sup Ji, if they were ever to be interested enough to actually study that form.

Winter's Back

When I looked out my window and saw snow this morning I thought it would be more fitting if it was April 1st. Haha. April fools! But it's much later. In any event it's not really that cold. In fact it already went above freezing. So does that mean I still get to teach my little Panda Class outside? It really is better when we teach the thing outside than when we are all cooped up inside. Plus the cold air might mean my sinuses will be less swollen today. Plus now I don't feel so crazy for reserving a pass to the Science Museum on Friday. Because it will be cold, at least. And that's an excuse for an indoor adventure.
Maybe a little bit of cold in spring is not a bad thing then. As long as it's only temporary and the snow doesn't pile up.

Let's Speak Mandarin!

This is the name that Grace said I should give to the group I am trying to form. I'm mainly trying to form it in JP I will settle on Chinatown if JP becomes too difficult. The plan is to have a bunch of people get together, speak Mandarin for a while, speak English for a while and also make it accessible to young children as well have a writing element to it. I figure the easiest way to do that is to have paper and crayons there.

At the tot lot two parents who are probably ABC and Mandarin speakers and not married to each other happened to be having a conversation over the fence and me and Grace were sitting on the bench. So I may have been eavesdropping but I was also literally between them as they were talking about ways to try and get there kids to continue to speak Mandarin or get their spouses to learn Mandarin etc etc.

Well I gave them my card and said we should get together.

Then this morning while walking to school I walked by three old people speaking Mandarin. I was sort of in a rush, but I stopped and made my pitch and handed out cards anyway. The older man happened to speak English and one of the old ladies happened to have lived in Canton (of wait I guess I should spell it Guangdong) for a bit and was able to understand some of my Mandarin (lol!)

Anyway. the cards were handed out. They were not as enthused because the two women spoke no English at all. The old man said it was a good idea, just like English Corner, which they have in China. And so I am starting a Mandarin corner in the U.S. (I hadn't heard of English Corner.)

Anyway I went on saying, "my Mandarin is crap so I"

"I know that." he said

"uhh so I want to improve it and mostly get my kids to learn it."

He also said it might be hard to get enough people who are both interested and who have the time.
But the truth is we don't need that many people. A small group will serve it's purpose I think. What we need more than anything, is Native Mandarin speakers who need a place to practice English. There's plenty of Americans who value learning Mandarin, or at least value their kids learning Mandarin. At least value it enough to go to a free group where you can also just socialize.

Side effects of Peppa Pig

"I'm going on Holiday!" the children say happily.

"No I'm going on Holiday!" as the tone startes to become more belligerent and the suitcase on wheels begins to be fought over.

No I'm going on Holiday!" as tears start to flow and voices become harsh and unsreasonable. Until finally somehow... "Yayy! We're going on Holiday."

But why are my children fighting using British Expressions? I think Noah's old (as in previous and before, not age) speech therapist Clionaugh would be proud. It is of course on of the side effects of being addicted to Peppa Pig.

Above is just one episode but we usually watch compilations of them. It has come to the point where I am always singing the various theme songs. The tongue in cheek quick humor is just hilarious. But they never stop and pause at a joke the way American comedy would, and in fact the jokes are like a separate thing for adults that the kids won't get and it is ultimately a kids show. Not that any of the jokes are "adult" in nature. It's just that to children, a lot of the way the world works is taken for granted, but to an adult that representation of it is hilarious.

Off to Church

Noah is excited about going to Church todday even though last week was somewhat of a disaster. I finally figured out the whole Childcare thing (I originally thought all those kids were just a tight knit group that came to Church together or were perhaps part of the same family. You know, no contraception and what not.) So we'll see how it goes today. Mainly I'll be praying fro Aunt Anne and Uncle Tommy through my mom and the Virgin Mary in my own Christianized version of non Christian beliefs. But that's what everyone else is doin too so it's cool. Plus I'm starting to realize that the Catholic Church (if you only look at it in a positive light and ignore the negative part) is a lot like the Facebook of the Medieval world, where we are just pretending to send messages through the air instead of actually doing it. And since we are pretending, we might as well send messages to people who are dead (or alive in the past) through Space-time. And a Church is a center for such message sending wher you can actually walk into a physical "Page" and through the force power and faith of everyone else sending messages, your message is carried through, and since your loved ones are sort of of the same faith, they know which station to go to to receive and send signs on their end. Anyway, Off to Church.

"Let It Go"

I love this song so much. My kids love it too of course and indeed they will not let me say it is our song. It can only be their song, and only they are allowed to sing it.
Of course their are incredible things about this song  that really only an adult can understand, but most of the adults who I know have to hear this song all the time because of their kids seem to not notice the other meanings. For me these womanhood coming of age and into one's sexual power is what makes me love this song probably even more than my kids do.

Grace told me some guy wrote an article about how the movie promotes Lesbianism and Beastiality, the lesbianism being in Elsa because Elsa doesn't have a man. That makes no sense though because the womanly love is between biological sisters. It might be saying that sort of love, Sibling love, is really true love. (The same concept as the Chinese saying "wives are like clothing but brothers are like limbs" But that doesn't mean Guan Gung, Zhang Fei, and Liu Bei were gay) The beastiality thing I can see but it's just the trolls teasing Cristoph implying that he might be partners with Svens. It's a joke.

But Let it Go is about Elsa coming into her sexual power. But because she is not a normal person, but has the powers of a Snow Godess (she is the Snow Queen) her sexuality is manifested through her power. So if it is promoting an alternate sexuality, it is the tradition of mysticism where one kind find God through a marriage with God or the elements or the "Wind and Sky"

But Elsa is not finding God so much as her freedom and power.

Let's go through the whole sequence.

Anna, in an argument pulls off Elsa's glove, an item of clothing that conceals her power, or her alternate version of womanhood. Young girls have to control and conceal their womanhood once they begin to show signs of it (their menstrual cycle). Elsa is not a normal girl and was with born with special powers from a young age. When they became dangerous they decided she had to conceal them.

But her naked hand as an adult unleashes her power uncontrollably when she becomes emotional.

So she runs away to the mountain unknowingly causing disaster.

Here she sings and casts off her other glove and begins to experiment with her power, her special type of woman hood. She splashes snow flakes and creates a snowman with a twirl of her finger, just starting to toy with the idea of creating things. (Olaf is not alive in the song. But obviously later he does come to life. So at this point she is just toying with the idea of creating life (sex) but has not necessarily consummated this process yet.

She first casts of her inner moral structure because it has failed her. No right no wrong no rules for me.

Then she creates a stair case and sprints up, flying up the mountain over a deep chasm (a yonic symbol perhaps?)  binding in ecstasy with her power's potential and what she can be part of in nature ("I'm one with the wind and sky.")

She then creates her Castle, and the screen cuts back to see a very Phallic ice palace rising as an alternative to and out of the natural phallic symbol she is on (a mountain peak). Now comes the first few parts that I ever noticed about the song to be sexual and are the most obvious.
She casts of her crown and

Let's down her hair. These seems like nothing but it is significant in Western Culture, movies, and expressions for a woman becoming less uptight, prude, and perhaps losing her Virginity. Though still not yet so obvious.

She then changes her clothes right before our eyes and gains an obvious twitch to her hips as she struts across the floor in a power pose proclaiming "that perfect girl is gone."

I actually witnessed this in real life once (I was not the selected partner of this girl becoming a woman) and I am sure that countless people have seen particularly uptight and beautiful young women undergo this transformation. Probably most likely on Prom Night or something of that sort. Probably the reason why men have chased virginity for thousands of years was because they thought that somehow being present and part of this seemingly magical transformation, that some of the power would be transformed to them. There is some Taoist thing about having 999 virgins without releasing semen will gain you immortality... but I digress.


Elsa proclaims her power, "Here I stand in the Light of Day!" She is no longer a girl with special powers but a Goddess living on a mountain top whose heart isn't bothered by the cold (and though not addressed so much in the version of the movie that stayed.. with questionable morals.)


So this is all Sex though with her power, And there is disaster when it is uncontrollable because of fear.
And of course the way the living God finally comes back to us humans and fixes all of the problems is? Through Love. Through Anna's act of love.

"Anna what power do you have to stop me?" asks Elsa. Anna is completely normal. Except that she has a very powerful capacity to Love and in that way she is also special and has special powers. Her power is powerful enough to control Elsa's power. (So is Han's evil powers of trickery greed and power lust.) But Anna's love saves us all from Hans. Anna's True Love.

Anyway, Elsa is different and so her sexual power is different and her love is between her and her sister. But Love is different than Sex, powers and all that. These messages are all great and deal with complicated issues and the story and the song puts all of these things you need to tell your young daughters into a nice little movie. It's amazing. Anyway, I love the song, love the movie obviously I wrote about that in a past post.

Addition:


I saw this video on You tube of Marines (young men) watching this song and I was glad to see that they saw the significance of her letting her hair down too. Just watch their enthusiasm during that part of the song.

Real life applications of Monkey King's Style

I was thinking about the Monkey King this morning, and how you would take the story to a real life situation. Basically through repetition of story after story, you see something like a beautiful young woman walking down the road, or an old man begging or some other sort of innocent bystander. The human reaction of the Monk is to feel compassion towards that person. If the girls are hot, the pig might lust after them. The old Sand Monk will take some note of them. And Monkey King will smash their heads in with a club.


Basically I was thinking how, if someone asks you for money, you will think, "Look they are my brother, they are my friend, they are my son. I love them I care for them. I don't really have money for myself, but here you are." This is the monks reaction. The guy trying to be a better person.

But the Monkey King is also trying to be a better person. And he is an immortal with countless years of experience that knows a lot of the Gods are full of shit, but the Buddha who stuck him under a mountain for 500 years was no joke and so his reaction may have a valid point.

If Noah asked me for money in his twenties, bail money, or some sort of problem like that. Part of me wants to say I would always be there to help. Even after he has his own kids.

But perhaps the best thing I could do for him at that point, after such a question, would be to clobber him in the face brutally with my face and then in the solar plexus and then after he has dropped to the floor to kick him a few times. Why? He is still me son, but he is in his twenties. There must be some reason why he got into a situation like that. And simply saying "No." is sort of the lame reaction you give to a stranger. He came to me for Fatherly love and I just gave it to him in his adult format, because timeouts, when you are twenty, well.. I suppose there are still timeouts, their called jail time. But that is for the State to handle and not family.


The scenario going through my head this morning of course was not about my son. But I was thinking that in the past I have been like that idiot Tripitaka, and perhaps the Pig. I have a feeling that the Sand Monk is a lot more like the Monkey King in his thoughts and I was thinking that my Grandfather on my mother's side had the experience of the Sand Monk but often probably had similar thoughts to the monkey King but had to abide (usually) by Human social norms. I wasn't thinking of Noah asking more for money. But actually the more I think about it it would be really weird for messed up for him to ask me for money. He would have had to mess up big time for him to have less money then me and the above reaction mentioned would be the appropriate parental action for dealing with an adult child. That reaction, and to them deal with the problem through support of course. That prodigal son story has know guts. Sometimes you have to show power, before you show kindness. (not that you leave the kindness out necessarily.)

Songkran

So this Sunday is Palm Sunday, and also Songkran. I only know about this Holiday from movies and television. According to Wikipedia it is the New Year for Laos, Cambodia, and Thaliand. And according to what I've seen a big part of the festival is about soaking each other with water and smearing chalk on each other. It is considered a Buddhist Holiday but I guess the modern emphasis is on the party, and there is traditionalist reactions about this.... just like Christmas in the United States I guess.

This seems like a great holiday for Americans, provided that it is hot outside. It is Spring, but this is New England and I haven't put away the scarves and hats just yet. Yesterday Afternoon was actually quite chilly.

I only know this holiday is coming up because an old Professor of mine posted something that Bridgewater State University is doing for the holiday.

I have started a Jamaica Plain Asian Society on Facebook, but it's like me and some of my friends who have like the page. (I'm still working the whole idea out.) And I don't think I can organize and event by Sunday. But I could just do something with my kids.

"Why don't we go to the tot lot, spray water on each other and then get Wonder Spice Cafe take out?" I said to Grace. (Wonder Spice Cafe is a Thai/Cambodian restaurant right near the tot lot.)

"Whay don't we just get Wonder Spice take out and not spray each other with water?" Suggested Grace more firmly.

As for the Buddhist aspect.... I guess I could make the kids meditate. Or maybe there is some sort of prayer we could recite. (I know I am Catholic now but that doesn't mean I'm not also Buddhist inside) Of course it is Palm Sunday too. Not that I ever really did much for that in my life. Besides that's all leading up to Easter anyway and it doesn't sound like as much fun. Though it is possible to do Church and then Tot Lot, but it would be a stretch.

Of course maybe Wonder Spice will be closed. I guess I'll stop by today and ask if their doing anything, and see if perhaps next year, we could work together to make a real event.

Noah will be in a local Public School by then, and perhaps I will have more traction for this Jamaica Plain Asian Society thing.

The event I did at the library was a success by the way.

Tempers, anger and cleaning

On Tuesday I got five teeth pulled. Most of them were easy but one was a horizontally impacted wisdom tooth. Thank God the resident who pulled or drilled out my other one was not there that day and the Professor, a true master of his craft decided to just do it himself because the resident who was going to do it was just finishing up on someone else and anyway, I was lucky. The students did a good job with the easy ones, but I definitely noticed as difference between skill levels. Anyway I  am in nowhere near as much pain as my one tooth last time has caused me.

However, I was annoyed that my kids wouldn't give me a break because my gums are still stitched up. I had to take Noah to a doctor;s appointment on Wednesday, an I guess it was a rough time for him too, but I just didn't feel like having to drag him everywhere. Just walk, Just listen.
Actually I had dropped my wallet and he picked it up so I guess he did good on that. We would have been screwed. So Good job Noah.

Then I asked if Grace could pick up Noah, so that I could rest. It turns out that ended up being an ordeal for her so I guess that was a mistake. I had cooked dinner, but Grace cooked again, and then I started commenting about the house, how I couldn't find one of the library books I needed to return, how I would prefer if we didn't pay people to clean our house because I feel that  though it looks cleaner, I have to undo what they did to clean because I have to sort everything, and in the end we are slowly losing everything, talking more to myself really...... and anyway, Grace didn't want to hear my crap and says it's all because I can't clean the damn house and then at some point she lost it claiming I had been yelling at her all night. Perhaps I was complaining and bitching. Anyway, her losing it made me lose it. By now I was just trying to go to sleep to rest, which was my intention for a while but now we were in a real argument. She was yelling. and then at some point I was yelling too despite the pull on my gums. Indeed all day I had been pretty cautious about raising my voice. Not out of politeness or niceness, but because I felt the pain in my stitches when I did have to raise my voice to tell my kids to "Stop!" As Noah tried to make a break for it several times at the Doctor's office while I was trying to control Jonah, who may have been less in control, but it is understandable because he is two. Anyway, I said she was messy before she even knew me. She said I fill the house with garbage while ripping one of my paintings off the wall. I ripped it up even further because fine, if throwing away all my stuff will help the situation fine. But I had lost it now, and going upstairs I bumped my knee on the child safety gate. The kind that is not supposed to be placed at the top of stairs that is at the top of our stairs. The one I had removed earlier, calmly, months ago, only to be yelled and and screamed back into submission and into putting it back because she wanted it there. It kept Hulk from coming upstairs in the children's minds.


It came off without any screwing, but small pieces flew out in the process. I should have felt the stitches pulling on my gums but actually for the first time since the novocaine wore off, my mouth didn't hurt at all. Noah was worried though and told me to stop doing that and to start reading him a story. So I did, while Grace continued to yell downstairs about how the house wasn't mine so why don't I just learn to shut my damn mouth. I read Noah's story and he fell asleep. And surprisingly I felt better. Though of course this fight is far from over. I got yelled at some more in the morning. But what I potted while I lay there at night, was to put my energy into something productive. I Will Clean the House. And I'll damn well clean it in my system.

The problem wand difficulty I have with cleaning is the sorting. Because I will do something or move something and then, because it is not my house, because they are not my clothes, because of the dishes are not mine, I will be yelled at because they are not in their "usual" place, as if there actually is a usual place. And so bit by bit, non essential items are going to leave, things are going to be sorted, and my goal is to clean the house so damned much that will become my house. That will have some power over where things are and where I put them even if the power is only an illusion. But it will be a orderly illusion.

Chinese conversation group

When setting up for my Chinese Chinese Cultural Fair at the Connolly Branch Library, I joined a Spanish -English conversation group. One thing that was so different about this group than say a class, or speaking in a different language with other people informally is that the group had a specific amount of time for Spanish and for English. It was fascinating to see that dynamic switch, because in the beginning the Spanish speakers were taking on the natural role of teacher, So that when we switched to English, it hadn't occurred to me that they didn't speak English that well,. and suddenly the dynamic switched and the English speakers were taking on the role of teacher.

I remember thinking this when I was in the Parenting groups at BCNC too. What I mean is that you don't really know someone unless you know them in their own language. Just the way when I have long conversations with people at Moh Goon or whatever, I know them in a different way than someone who doesn't speak Chinese will know them. But to have a scheduled point in the conversation where you switch is really interesting to see. And of course it makes it easier for both parties to learn the other language.

I was thinking how something like this would be great for learning Mandarin. Maybe I should set a Mandarin version of ths group up in JP. Then upon thinking about it, I realized that I didn't know of a group like that in Chinatown even. Yeah there are all these classes which may or may not be free where one teacher, (often a white guy) teaches conversation with a whole class of Chinese Speakers looking to learn conversational English. But that's different than a group of people half and half of Chinese and English Speakers who talk in a group and then divide up to speak one on one.

I think this conversation group would be a better fit for a lot of older restaurant workers who are male who don't want to necessarily join a "class"  like that. Women seem to enjoy joining classes, but this would be mroe like a social activity, where you also get to learn English (and Chinese.) Of course maybe the groupd would have to be in Chinese in General since a lot of older guys don't necessarily speak Mandarin.


But this class would also be good for non-chinese and Americanized Chinese looking to either learn or practice speaking in Chinese. A lot of Chinese assume that non Chinese American people don't want to learn Taishanese, or Cantonese because it is not as useful. But they are thinking like someone who is trying to learn a language to survive. (That is why they are trying to learn English.) But a lot of non Chinese Americans want to learn Cantonese or Taishanese, for kicks. They have no intention of going to China, or if they do, yeah sure learn Mandarin too, but mainly they are doing it to learn how to order at dim sum, or just for fun.

When you think about it, it's such a simple idea. All you need is a few people.

And frankly it could do a lot for the community. Not just in terms of getting a lot of people who need practice with English a place to do it. But also, there is sometimes a perception of a strained relationship on "gentrifyers" and Chinese people who live in Chinatown. A conversation group like this can build ties in the community because people who might not usually socialize and talk to one another, will. For the sake of practice and conversation they will get to know each other and about each other's way of thinking. It's really really good for the community.

Chinese Cultural Fair

Today I'm presenting a Chinese Cultural Fair at the Connolly Branch Library. I brought everything over there on Saturday. Now today (Monday) I just have to set it up before 6:30. There will be a table with Chinese Calligraphy. I bought all these little brushes and there is ink and also a Children's paint that is black. I'll quickly write some Chinese words that non-chinese people like to write. Love, Power, Peace, Spirit that sport of thing. I'll also write water, mountain, person, the numbers and a few quick sketches too. They will just be the examples. Then the kids will just scribble or have at it and the adults can copy the characters. Hopefully some Chinese people will show up and do some writing.

I will also have a musical instruments station. My Chinese dulcimer and yuen will be out and available for people to touch and play. I hope adults will keep their children from doing something like stomping on it. I will demonstrate a couple of songs on the dulcimer and a few songs on the gao hu. I might let adults try the gao hu. No kids on that though.


I will also have a kids toy drum, gong and cymbals (which I need to remember to bring over) and a real lion head, a baby head, and some cardboard heads the kids can color or take home or whatever.

I'll do a little bit of what I usually do in the Kung Fu park. Maybe I'll even do that twice if people come and go.

As I was setting the stuff on the stage on Saturday, there was a Spanish-English conversation group there.
My kids were with Grace at the store... so I joined the group. I haven't really spoken Spanish in ten years. I actually talked about what I would be doing today. It helped for if I ever have to do a Chinese Lion Dance workshop in Spanish. I think I will start going to that conversation group every week, and when Noah and Jonah are old enough, I will start to bring them too. In fact I was thinking I should start a Chinese-English conversation and writing group in JP. Heck we should have one in Chinatown. I see a lot of classes in Chinatown but not a lot of informal groups. They would rally be good for both the restaurant workers are older and wouldn't necessarily want to be in a "class" and also the "Gentrified" people who are moving into Chinatown and want to learn the language, and frankly, for Chinese Americans who want to practice speaking Chinese or learn another dialect.

Noah's first hide and seek.

Noah played Hide and seek at the playground with a new friend today. I think it was the first time he actually played this game for real. The other boy said, "Okay I'll count and you hide." and he began counting. But obviously Noah didn't quite understand the rules because he ran to another pole and started counting as well. "15! Okay here I come!" said the other boy.
"15! Hahahahhahehhehee!"
"I found you!" the both said. The other boy was confused but Noah seemed to think that actually this was how the game was played.
"No you were supposed to hide." There was a second attempt. Noah hid behind... well Noah was caught because he was sort of still deciding where to hide. Then it was Noah's turn to be it.

"Okay here I come!"
The other boy had hid behind a bench. But Noah seemed to think that he would only hide on the play structure. I was cracking up from the first attempt.
"Where you are!" Noah yelled worried.
"He might be in another part of the playground Noah." I offered after much too long of a time.
The boy hiding was getting confused and indeed impatient. I guess I should point out that Noah is four and the other boy might have been older.

He eventually stood up and Noah eventually found him and ran over to him giggling.
"I found you!"
"Okay I'm it now what should I count to?"
I didn't hear what Noah said but I heard the boy respond, "I'm not going to count to 99."

Anyway they played again. The game eventually ended and eventually me and Noah played. I guess the closest we have ever came to this game was in the house and it was more informal. The kids will just hide under the covers when they are looking for them and I will pretend not to see them even though they are yelling, "Say where's Shao Bao!" or "Say where's Dai Dai!"

I guess hide and seek is a lot more fun when you are young and not as good as it. I mean playing within the limits of a playground of course. I actually cheated every time by peaking (which surprisingly Noah did not do. I guess because I cheated against myself when trying to find him too.) Anyway it was good that I peaked because at first Noah tried to hide outside of the playground and for all I know he was headed to hide under a car. Come to think of it, I can recall playing hide and seek and cops and robbers by hiding under cars and in alley ways. But we were older. Anyway I suspected Noah might do that. Which is why I had to cheat. You know, to be a responsible parent. Honest.

"The Power of Meditation" and "safe" places.

So I am doing the parenting Journey thing every week. And one of the activities we did this week was "the power of meditation." It was a new age version that I had actually done with Grace before in preparation for her giving birth. There was the whole, "return to a place where you feel safe thing," and there was reading about going imagining a lemon and cutting it and tasting it and all that. Of course when I did this with Grace it was in English, and there was me Grace and the Doula at the doula's house.

This time it was in Chinese and there was a bunch of us. I sat on the floor in my usual meditation pose even though people probably thought that was weird, because they all stayed in their seats. I'm not really supposed to talk about other people's stuff, but everyone gave typical answers for their safe place. Mine was home. Other people had nature.

But when we started the meditation I was in two places.

The most prominent place was a mountain in Hong Kong going up to Mahn Faht Jee. For those who know about Hong Kong, you will find this odd. Because it is kind of Jungly. Even Mahn Faht Jee )10,000 Buddha temple) is kind of gaudy. The idols, I guess there are 10,000 of them look cheaply made. It's not like a movie. When I was physically in that place it was overbearingly hot and in my mind I was right at a spot where I saw the ruins of a home. Not ancient ruins, but it belonged to someone poor because it was about the size of a bathroom and had a porcelain toilet (or what remained of it.) I know it wasn't a public toilet because there was also a propane gas kitchen. But the walls were completely knocked down. Like I said it was ruins, but from the modern world.

At this spot I remember looking down and seeing a fat I mean snake slide out of a hole in the mountain and across the concrete path I had walked below and flop into the jungle. At the actual time I had recalled how if it had done that when I was there I would have jumped and probably rolled down the side of the mountain in jungle. I call it jungle because it was sold to me as a tourist spot, and it is. But it's not like a well groomed tourist location in other parts of Hong Kong or in Boston. At the top you can by Tofu deserts and all that sort of thing. But I was expecting at least guard rails and even steps for the path going up. I mean old people do up there all the time right? Just saying it didn't look like no Jade Palace on top of a mountain like in Kung Fu Panda.

But for some reason, that was my safe place, or at least my meditation place. And in my mind it was peaceful. The other place I was, simultaneously, because it would open up from inside the mountain, was this fictional place I had been the last time I did this New Age meditation. It was a world with a sun (unmoving and like a flat earth, as in it wasn't really a place in space-time) and a river, and on either river there were statues of Buddhas. Huge and small. But they were plain stone. Not living. And I had been flying through it. As I write this I realize this idea is perhaps what Mahn Faht Jee was trying to achieve. But they had been two separate places in my consciousness until I just wrote this.

But I could not go into that place, like I did when I heard the stuff about the "lemon" and the "thermometer" in English. Not that I was listening to the words that time. But I knew what the Doula was saying and when she would end. That was about 10 minutes.
This time the Chinese version was only a few minutes and I had to sort of pay attention to know when she was actually finished because my Chinese is not as fluent.

I also "came back" early, as soon as she said to open your eyes, because I was sitting on the floor and nobody else was, so I got up and sat in my seat.

After the time with the Doula I was glowing.

I glowed this time too but not as much. It was a more muted experience. Shorter and I couldn't go as deep. I didn't want to be that guy who was still meditating when everyone else had started talking already.


I didn't share my experience because it had nothing really to do with parenting, and was weird to me. Basically, my safe place, is semi-dangerous. Which sort of makes sense when I think about the times I have really been calm. I couldn't really choose my childhood home as my safe place, or the parks where I work out. Or outdoors or even the Kung Fu School locations. Especially the old one. But  a lot of times when I have Moh Goon dreams I am in that old school. which was only "safe" because I was like a guard dog.

In fact last night I had a sort of Chinatown dream that involved past tense fights (they didn't occur in my dream) and it all happened n a street that no longer exists. And the fights were like 1950's brawls in books like The Outsiders or something like that. But the dream wasn't really a nightmare. I was never in any fight, and Chinese people weren't involved either, there were ABC teens in my dream who had seen the fight and said stuff like, "yeah he used the figure four on him" and laughing. I was upset that the fight had happened, but others were just amused and entertained. But there was no serious danger to me.

I guess this isn't weird though because Narnia for instance is an example of a "safe fantasy place" even though medieval fighting with arrows and swords is extremely dangerous and horrible and bloody. But for some reason such a place in your imagination and in your mind can be "safe" because it tales on another function when it is not real.

Epic poo blowout

Yesterday I took Jonah to playgroup and then he had the most epic poo blow out ever. I think it was because he decided to continue to play and go down slides and what not. I had wipes, but not that many. After all he has pretty much been pooing in the toilet in the house. I had to strip him down and use his clothes and a water bottle and my bare hands in the playground. It was gross. I put the clothes in the only bag I had, which was one of those packaging bags from Amazon. A mother who came to the playground helped me by giving me some home made wipe rags. That's a good idea actually. Environmentally friendly and all that.

As I was cleaning of my son who continued to squirm and dance and giggle despite my telling him not to, I heard police sirens. In the past I had police  stop me because I was carrying a baby Noah somewhere and I had taken off his diaper because of the summer heat. Well the sirens were not for me.

But the poo smell was. I washed and wiped but I new there was still poo germs on me. I had to get home, only I had a dentist appointment soon. I went there by subway, and then went all Lady Macbeth with the hand sanitizer, and then the soap in the bathroom, and then the hand sanitizer several more times. Jonah had fallen asleep. He hadn't even eaten lunch. I was going to feed him in the playground, but once we started with the poo thing that was out.

I washed his hands in his sleep, and he slept through that and me getting fillings and then when we woke up and were done I took another trip to the bathroom to rinse him down again with soap. He looked clean already, but still.

Then we git a chicken leg for lunch at Chinatown cafe and I bought some water because the old water bottle had to go.

Well, that was my day yesterday. I guess I should carry more wipes and more water bottles and plastic bags.

Fire Hazards

I have been listening to a little bit about the Fire fighters who lost their lives in a fire in Back Bay. I didn't know them or anything like that. But when I first heard about it the first thing that popped into my head was Ching Ming. I wonder what a fire fighter would think about that holiday. But then we do take precautions. You can only light your papers in a bin and because everyone is so careful around this activity which is so obviously a fire hazard... well I've never heard of a fire starting in Boston from this activity. I'm not sure what started the Back Bay fire but whenever you here of people dying from fire (the last time I heard something on the news had to do with a fireplace and some others were Christmas trees) it makes you freak out about certain Holiday traditions and their risks.  Cooking is one of the more dangerous things. Doing your laundry in the dryer. 

It just makes you remember how dangerous everyday things can be and how much more dangerous they would be if we didn't have trained firefighters like the two that lost their lives recently.

In Hong Kong in the 50's a lot of people used to live in wooden shanty towns. Then a fire wiped out the whole area. I don't know what started it but it was probably something simple and every day, but because of the buildings being shacks of wood and I'm not sure what they had for firefighters... anyway a tragedy can be a disaster. Back Bay is a historic type of neighborhood and a lot of the houses are old, and brick, and very close together. It would be easy for a fire to wipe out such a place without trained firefighters. Chinatown, which is close by, is the same way in terms of architecture and crowded back alleys. You never give it much thought until someone dies. Or maybe if you are a firefighter you think about it all the time.

Sochi on the Commons

Chinese New Year Pics

Maple Syrup Expedition @ Natick Organic farm

Uncle Tommy and the "Good Old Days" and funerals

I found out that my Uncle Tommy died yesterday morning. He was my godfather, we played basketball when I was a kid, and he had down syndrome. I wasn't surprised to hear this. In fact the last time I saw him at Christmas I knew immediately when I saw him that it would be the last time I would ever see him. I was glad he got to see my sons and I think he knew who I was and I think he knew who they were too.
After we left at Christmas time I heard that he sort of melted down and got very angry. He had Alzheimer's and other health problems. Apparently people with down syndrome have a shorter life expectancy. I didn't understand all that as a child. Actually probably I guess I still don't understand all of that it's just that if someone tells me it is so I take it at face value instead of wondering why why why the way my kids would.
Anyway to hear that was pretty sad. I could see why he would be upset. When his parents were alive he lived with them, and his brothers and sisters would visit often, with their children (me being one of them) and also his mother's sisters would visit often (like Aunt Anne and Aunt Dotsy) and basically from what I could see as a child life was good, surrounded  by a large family. I looked at that house as a Castle from a Golden Age as well and I remember having to come home to Boston where family just meant me and my mom and crying and crying violently.

Uncle Tommy lived in a home with other guys with Down Syndrome and they did a lot of activities and stuff but I guess that's kind of like being in a perpetual dorm at boarding school. Some people like that, but others (like me) well... didn't. But then that's part of growing up. At some point you have to move out of your home and out of childhood. Not everyone's childhood is "the good old days." Some people have horrible childhoods. But the idea of childhood is a magical time where fantasy can be reality and you are protected. Again not everyone is but that is the idea.

Well for Aunt Anne's funeral (which I did not go to) I guess there was a moment of that old family feeling. I only know vaguely what happened because my Aunt Kath told me what happened. That Uncle Francis came up from Florida, and that when he was leaving my Uncle Tommy didn't want to let go of his hand. Finally he did, and it was really hard and a few days later I guess he had a heart episode and he died.

It's pretty sad and depressing, but I wasn't surprised by any of the news at all, because well it's like Uncle Tommy and that era have been slowly dying for a long time.

When my mom was alive and healthy and we would visit Uncle the House, Uncle Tommy would often talk to himself for long periods of time, and not a lot of people understood what he was saying or who he was talking too.

"Are you talking to Mom and Dad?" my mother would ask. And he would say that yes he was. I remember that sort of depressing me back then.
"I talk to them too sometimes." My mother said. I guess I didn't believe her. I'm not a big talker (well before I wasn't) even to people who are alive, let alone people who have past. Now that most of my conversations are with my kids I can talk my friend's ears off and I have to stop myself. And I guess I can talk a lot about certain subjects. But social talking... just was not my forte.

When my mom died my Uncle Francis asked if I spoke to her. And he admitted he did, and that he also talked to his Dad. Not much to his mom.

It seems like for a long time we have all been looking back to the good old days. When family was more together. I guess it's the law of entropy except for with family. I guess the first deaths I remember from my mother;s side were my Grandfather's and then my Great grandmother's right after that. And since then even my grandmother would look back on good old days when she was young and I would loving hearing stories about them.

And of course within my own family I guess me and my mother looked back to the time when my Father was still alive. I can't actually remember who died first my father, or my maternal grandfather.


I guess what was so sad about Uncle Tommy's death was that he depended more on his brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, and uncles because he didn't have the opportunity to get married and have children of his own. I think having children of my own helped a lot with these nostalgic feelings because there was a chance to create my own family. Uncle Tommy did have a girlfriend, he had a job, but I guess it would not be realistic for him to get married and have children. I see people on various tv shows like Glee who have down syndrome and seem to be able to function more and live much longer.

I guess a lot of people don't have kids though and don't want kids. And after all, at some point my children will grow up and probably won't want to live near me. Uncle Tommy's death just seems to hammer that point harder home though and just seems even sadder for some reason, because it's the natural way. It's not sudden or unexpected. But at the same time it's not quite the same as Aunt Anne's or any great Matriarch or Patriarch where you can see and be surrounded by the family that you raised, and their families.


Even though we have modern medicine, it seems like it would almost be less depressing to die in a cave surrounded by your clan and tribe, earlier even, and being warmed by your cave fire, but again surrounded by your clan, your people. But even back then of course plenty of people died alone, and maybe with everyone close together in a cave disease would spread and the whole clan would be wiped out.

And then maybe it is better to say goodbye while you still can. And since dying is like leaving anyway, you might as well do it alone.

It's hard to say.

Natural death is sad even though it is life and it is  how it is supposed to be and there is no escaping it.