Folk vs. Organized Religion

I was so excited to be Catholic. I really was. I was going to do the Communion thing (or as Grace called it, "getting our cookie") I was going to do the confession thing. But somehow I forgot that believing in Jesus (i.e. being able to except the myth of Jesus Christ as a divine being through a leap of faith, or suspension of disbelief) and being Catholic are two very different things. I figured I'm already Catholic right? And my ancestors were, on my white side, and before that they were Pagans. (Polytheists) and on My Chinese side we were whatever we were.
I used to think we were Buddhist but the academic term is cyniticism. There is Buddhism but you go to the temple and then you leave it. Then there is Taosim, and you go to that Temple, and then you leave it. Then you bow to your ancestors at home, and various gods (or if you are going to look at it from a Catholic point of view they are Saints) and there are rituals and such for holidays... but how do you know what to do for those holidays?You can do what you want but at some point, there are people who know and then there are people who ask those people who know. For instance, to name my children, we hired and Feng Shui guy. For Noah's one month party we asked my Sifu's wife to perform the ritual, (which is far more elaborate than a baptism even though according to her, she was doing the very simplified version.) The Lion Dance is another example of this folk religion. We go around blessing businesses but other than the fact that we do Kung Fu and are using lion heads and are supposed to know the rules (though not every lion dancer necessarily knows the rules) But it's not like we are ordained priests, we just play that role. A Sifu isn't exactly the same thing as a priest, but sometimes people look at them in that way. And of Course a Sifu CAN be a Monk or Nun (either Taoist, Buddhist or other... in fact in a lot of the Wuxia novels the Kung Fu guys are part of Mau Gau short for Mau Ni gau or Mani religion or Manicheaism which was an eastern and heretical sect of Christianity similar to Gnosticism.)
Anyway I have seen people g to Sifu for problems like that, especially if they were raised in a Catholic faith. They may even get on their knees and do a confession. But Sifu sort of just said they should try not to do what it was they did... as a friend because he was unfamiliar with that sort of culture and didn't really understand why this man was going to HIM with this problem necessarily. But of course that's just how I saw it from a distance. In Highschool, when we went to Episcopalian Sunday Chapel by requirement there was an awful lot of talking by guest preachers about disciples how difficult it was to believe in Jesus and all that. I always found these disciples to be kind of soft. After all, the Chinese requirement to follow a Kung Fu Sifu, who was a man and not divine at all and unable to walk on water or perform miracles other than some feats of strength and healing through medicine (not magic) seemed much more strict. So why couldn't these disciples get their stuff together for someone who they believed to be God? But I'm digressing a lot now.

As for my own experience, I have noticed people (usually people much older than me) starting to come to me for these sorts of spiritual issues as well.

So Why did I suddenly want to be Catholic, or more specifically to Baptize my children?

Despite a ton of differences in what I believe and what the Catholic Church believes, because of having gone to Nativity Prep the Catholic morality and the Catholic way of thinking of a lot of things from how to act, to what Heaven is ("A state of being" are the words I recall coming from Fr. Cullen's mouth in class.) Are ingrained into me far more than Buddhist ideals or Taoist ideals which I only learned from books and movies. Not only that but the Buddhist Holidays, like Buddha's birthday, are completely foreign to me.

But most important is the fact that I am Half Chinese and Half White and I used to have a balance of both styles of spiritual thinking and rituals in my life. It used to be weighted more toward my Irish/German/Polish Catholic side as a child, even though we did not go to Church as a family but had an altar to my father, Guan Yin and a Fat Happy Buddha in the house, maintained by my mother.

Then when I was living in a Kung Fu school the Chinese way of thinking sort of filled most of my mind. Except that I was still living in America, (practically in a concrete cave bit still) And when I still held that "What would Jesus do in this situation" sort of moral compass in my mind. And of course, I forgot that Jesus ended up imprisoned and executed.

But recently the Kung Fu School is less a part of my life and is also just less ritualistic than it used to be. And so I guess I was really feeling lost. That's the problem with a Folk religion. There aren't any real professionals set aside by society to enforce, or retain the old ways, documented in writing. Of course there are issues with organized religion, but I am saying there are definite benefits.

When I came to terms with Christianity  and started seeing these signs from my mother and all that, I don't know I got so excited, that I now knew I could go back and be Christian perhaps Catholic. But I forgot that being Buddhist-ish from a Chinese way of thinking is different than being Catholic- ish. You can't really do that. ( I don't think.) Or maybe you can, but you can't get Baptized your kids in that way of thinking.

Nevertheless I still feel that I need to talk to the Priest I am scheduled to meet with. Just sit down and ask for Spiritual Guidance or just have a conversation or something. I am looking for something, but I don't know what it is.
No I know what it is, it's the Holy Grail of some sort, but what does it look like? To use a  Buddhist saying, if you see the Buddha kill the Buddha. Which means I am looking for that thing. Buddha, the Holy Grail, Enlightenment, but if it looks like I see it right there in front of me, that might not be the right cup/path/person.