A Dangerous word: part one

Forgiveness. It is probably a dangerous word to use now, or so I thought before I saw the news this morning. It seems like others are using it too. Anybody that used it after 9/11 was immediately booed or railed against. Though 9/11 was much larger scale so that is understandable.
I think a lot of people, not just me, have been looking at these perpetrators, at the family and finding it difficult to put what they did, with who they were. I wrote before that it would be difficult to look at the act and think that a human could do this. And yet looking at the perpetrators they were human, and very human looking, with other human activities. They didn't look like Ted Kaczynzki or Eric Rudolph, or Hannibal Lecter.
I was talking with someone else, an older woman from Brazil and she mentioned how sad it all was, even how sad it was that the older brother died. I kind of paused because I did not feel sad about that at all. I only felt disappointed because obviously it would be better if they were both brought in alive. The Uncle was just saying on the news that probably they were radicalized by someone local, and that he did not believe that they were working alone. That they were just executors in a plan thought up by another person, or group.
Being a stranger watching it on TV, I would think the same thing. And if it it's not true, you still need to investigate the possibility right?
Then there was the aunt that said they were framed. I don't think so. But I can see why she does. I had complete faith in my government and all the police officers the entire time, but that scene from Fahrenheit 451  kept popping into my mind, where they are chasing down Montague and eventually kill some other guy just to have an ending for everyone watching on TV. I do believe these guys are the guys, and the reason why we don't have real footage of everything that happened makes sense, but I can totally see how the aunt  and the father is skeptical.
I'm 90% sure what I'm seeing on TV is honestly the closest thing to the truth they have.
That being said, it is still unbelievable even if it is true. Does anyone else see themselves in these perpetrators. I kept thinking about the Uncles words. About them being losers. I laughed out loud the first time I heard him say it so angrily. But last night I kept thinking. Wasn't I quiet in highschool? Didn't I have trouble settling into Groton, the prep school I attended? I didn't hate people that succeeded.. I don't think. I tried not to hate anyone, which was difficult and I definitely disliked some people. But nonetheless, I could see myself being classified as a loser. I know others threw me into this category, in highschool, in college, and afterwards. Someone not useful, Someone who wasn't going to make it or be successful. Now for some reason, people would probably classify me as more of a winner, because I live in a house and have two kids. But to myself, I have no job and none of my success has anything to do with any effort put forth on my part. I didn't have my kids. Grace did. I didn't buy this house, Grace did. Now I don't think of myself as a loser. But I do want to accomplish something fr myself. I never had the hatred for citizens in a crowd the way these two brothers seemed to have. But had I been influenced by certain people could I have been radicalized like that? I guess I was a radical Kung Fu practitioner. Which meant that I did a lot of meditation and Kung Fu-ing and Lion Dance. If I had been influenced by a group that was less about that sort of mystical practice and more about hate and terror... but would I have been influenced by those people? I don't think so. But I can't say 100% that it is impossible. Or can't I? I cannot conceive blowing up children. People watching a marathon. Innocent civilians. But then it's not like these two guys invented killing civilians.
It took me a long time to think of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs as completely wrong. Even when I went to Hiroshima I didn't feel the same sorts of sadness and shame that other Americans seem to be writing down in the visitor books. Why? Maybe because even though I am American, I am also half Chinese and was glad to have blood that wasn't just a victim in that war. It wasn't until reading so many Barefoot Gen comics and hearing the story of people, victims, who had nothing to do with the Japanese government, but were the victims of the nuclear bombs that I saw that it wasn't about this country and that country. It was about victims and perpetrators. Killing Children is wrong, no matter who is doing it. Killing civilians is wrong, no matter who is doing it. These Marathon Bombers were wrong, no matter what their worldview that justified it in their minds. And yes, whatever drone strikes or other events that occurred that can be used as an excuse, where children also died, in greater numbers.. those things are also wrong. But they do not justify  anything.  So how do you stop this from happening? Stop it from happening here and over there?