For some reason I've been thinking about evil a lot this week. Because of the bombings, and who did them. and How the more I find out about these guys, the more similarities I see between my life and theirs, well their life in America anyway. That religious image of the serpent in the garden of Eden, or Mara whispering into your ear, or the devil on your shoulder, seem to be such a great representation of what goes inside your mind. Whether you believe in the devil or you just believe that these are representations of thoughts in your own mind is really just nuance.
I have been thinking about how in most cartoons, the villain used to be good and then slowly they change and then after a lifetime, years of doing evil deeds they slowly change into the villain. I also grew up in various school's and programs whose goals were to get kids past adolescence safely with the assumption being that once you get to adult age, and you have already been through college and made it that far, that you have made it, that you are formed, and that you won't be as susceptible to temptations or misguided decisions that can ruin a life. But from my experience with people I know, and with working at the DA's office or watching arraignments on my internship, or just watching the news, that seems not to be the case. Some pretty successful people end up falling pretty low or doing some pretty messed up things.
Not only this, but it seems like people can change for the bad, acquire the ability to do pretty evil deeds pretty quickly. And not only that, but in the case of these bombers, still appear completely normal on the outside, well almost. They can still be a stay at home dad. They may say things that seem weird or telling in hind site but still. Evil seems to me much more complicated than "a bad guy." That image of Mara going around whispering in people's ears and getting them to go down the wrong path seems so real right now. When you decide to do something like scam people the way Bernie Madoff did, people say they don't get it, but ultimately we do. That's greed. You gain something. Wealth and status. But then he already had wealth and status.
When you cheat or sleep around, that's lust.
Rape and murder usually seem more twisted and harder to understand. But its still lust. Animals do it. We understand it better. But then a lot of rapists seem to be sexually attractive themselves, in their physique, status as a sports player or a famous lawyer. So why rape?
Then there's war, power. And once you get to war killing massive amounts of innocent people no longer seems that unthinkable. And countries like North Korea always seem on the brink of war. Why risk your entire kingdom and so many lives just to say something? What can North Korea gain from war? More territory? Not really. What do we ever really gain?
But bombings during peace. Bombings sort of makes sense during war. So these two were somehow at war in their mind. Or something. There's nothing to gain it seems. Why not start robbing banks? Bomb stores and snatch and grab. Start a gang. Why not do these things, at least you gain something, and your harming people, but your not killing people.
Actually there is plenty of evil in government in systems of behavior, in Big business polluting that creates a lot of damage. We all participate in it on some level, even though we are not trying to do evil, but in the end, the result is. Deaths of species, greenhouse gases bringing us closer to the possibility of some global apacolyspse. It's not like most of us deliberately want to kill our planet, or a whole species, or systems where the developing world does not have a fair shake. But we still participate either out of laziness or complacency, or some of the guys at the top of say, BP do that stuff on purpose, and these bombers did what they did on purpose. But for all of these actions, there is really no logical benefit. Maybe Mara or the devil is just in our head, something made up, but it is definitely in a part of our brain, or mind that we don't understand. That demon, guiding down a false path of evil seems to be as good an explanation as any for why evil exists. No human is sitting back, laughing maniacally at the damage they have caused. Everyone seems to think in one way or another they are doing what is best, for a company, for a country, for God, for their family, for the economy, for the greater good, for themselves. Evil seems to be more about being misguided than anything. Misguided, tricked, deceived by something, ourselves, the devil, whatever it may be.
What is Kung Fu and lion dance? Part self defense and fighting, part meditation and culture and part performance with drums and arts and crafts. Come and learn this art on Saturdays at 108 Stirling Road. Warren, NJ We work with Murray Hill Chinese School which also offers many other programs both cultural, academic and athletic. Check ou their website here https://www.mhcs-nj.org/
Kung Fu and Love
A great gift for Valentine's day or Chinese New Year
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Forgiveness and Revenge, Dangerous words: part two
What is forgiveness?
Well Christianity and Islam both preach forgiveness and also have the belief that God can forgive, has the power to forgive, and forgive anything. I remember studying the Abrahamic religions in College and he hammered out the difference with these two, and what Judaism, the root Abrahamic religion, has to say about forgiveness. And it was that a sin is a sin. There was no wiping a sin clean through penance, or confession or anything. God could not forgive Cain for what he did to Abel, because it was not God's place. It was Abel's place, and since Abel was dead, Abel was also unable to forgive Cain.
If we were to look at the Marathon bombings from this perspective, Suspect #2 could conceivably receive forgiveness from those that were still alive for what he did to them, though there is no reason why they should have to forgive. But even if they did, the three that died, are dead and therefore cannot grant forgiveness. And nobody can really forgive in their place.
This type of thinking was difficult to wrap my head around at first, because I grew up in a somewhat Christian/Buddhist culture. What I mean is that I watched a bunch of movies with themes from these religions and heard a bunch of people who were part of these religions speak about forgiveness.
More and more, I do not believe in forgiveness. I believe in compassion, sympathy, and love, but not forgiveness. Some people say forgive and forget. Some people say forgive, but never forget. Forgiveness takes a lot of energy and a lot of people use it as a way to move forward and heal.
I believe in moving forward and healing. But, for instance, you would not forgive a disease or a hurricane. You would not forgive a car accident.
Now I am not with the people that are saying we should hang this guy public execution style Downtown either. Why? That just gives him more power. It would give his memory more power, and his message of hate more power.
I don't believe in Forgiveness. But I don't believe in hate or revenge either. Not to say that I have never had a hateful or vengeful thought. I have. But I try not to. And when I have them I try to think of something else. Because those thoughts are not useful, helpful, or beneficial to me.
We should use all our thoughts to preserve the memories of those that died and those that still need help recovering. All of our energy should go into moving forward and making ourselves stronger.
If you sympathize with the perpetrators, or knew them, then preserve the memory of what they were before they turned into what they turned into. And if you hate them, and curse them and wish them to hell... know that in order to do the things they did, they were already in hell, and full of curses and hate. So don't go down that path. It looks like it only took a little over a year to go from "normal" to follow that path to a point where they were capable of putting bombs in a crowd.
What should this suspect who is still alive do? Not seek forgiveness. But if he were to "see the light" as it were. To try and work from inside your cell in jail or on death row, to prevent others from following your path of hate.
Whatever ever their reasons, there were so many other things they could have done to send a message, so many more powerful and less destructive and evil things they could have chosen besides a bombing.
Well Christianity and Islam both preach forgiveness and also have the belief that God can forgive, has the power to forgive, and forgive anything. I remember studying the Abrahamic religions in College and he hammered out the difference with these two, and what Judaism, the root Abrahamic religion, has to say about forgiveness. And it was that a sin is a sin. There was no wiping a sin clean through penance, or confession or anything. God could not forgive Cain for what he did to Abel, because it was not God's place. It was Abel's place, and since Abel was dead, Abel was also unable to forgive Cain.
If we were to look at the Marathon bombings from this perspective, Suspect #2 could conceivably receive forgiveness from those that were still alive for what he did to them, though there is no reason why they should have to forgive. But even if they did, the three that died, are dead and therefore cannot grant forgiveness. And nobody can really forgive in their place.
This type of thinking was difficult to wrap my head around at first, because I grew up in a somewhat Christian/Buddhist culture. What I mean is that I watched a bunch of movies with themes from these religions and heard a bunch of people who were part of these religions speak about forgiveness.
More and more, I do not believe in forgiveness. I believe in compassion, sympathy, and love, but not forgiveness. Some people say forgive and forget. Some people say forgive, but never forget. Forgiveness takes a lot of energy and a lot of people use it as a way to move forward and heal.
I believe in moving forward and healing. But, for instance, you would not forgive a disease or a hurricane. You would not forgive a car accident.
Now I am not with the people that are saying we should hang this guy public execution style Downtown either. Why? That just gives him more power. It would give his memory more power, and his message of hate more power.
I don't believe in Forgiveness. But I don't believe in hate or revenge either. Not to say that I have never had a hateful or vengeful thought. I have. But I try not to. And when I have them I try to think of something else. Because those thoughts are not useful, helpful, or beneficial to me.
We should use all our thoughts to preserve the memories of those that died and those that still need help recovering. All of our energy should go into moving forward and making ourselves stronger.
If you sympathize with the perpetrators, or knew them, then preserve the memory of what they were before they turned into what they turned into. And if you hate them, and curse them and wish them to hell... know that in order to do the things they did, they were already in hell, and full of curses and hate. So don't go down that path. It looks like it only took a little over a year to go from "normal" to follow that path to a point where they were capable of putting bombs in a crowd.
What should this suspect who is still alive do? Not seek forgiveness. But if he were to "see the light" as it were. To try and work from inside your cell in jail or on death row, to prevent others from following your path of hate.
Whatever ever their reasons, there were so many other things they could have done to send a message, so many more powerful and less destructive and evil things they could have chosen besides a bombing.
A Dangerous word: part one
Forgiveness. It is probably a dangerous word to use now, or so I thought before I saw the news this morning. It seems like others are using it too. Anybody that used it after 9/11 was immediately booed or railed against. Though 9/11 was much larger scale so that is understandable.
I think a lot of people, not just me, have been looking at these perpetrators, at the family and finding it difficult to put what they did, with who they were. I wrote before that it would be difficult to look at the act and think that a human could do this. And yet looking at the perpetrators they were human, and very human looking, with other human activities. They didn't look like Ted Kaczynzki or Eric Rudolph, or Hannibal Lecter.
I was talking with someone else, an older woman from Brazil and she mentioned how sad it all was, even how sad it was that the older brother died. I kind of paused because I did not feel sad about that at all. I only felt disappointed because obviously it would be better if they were both brought in alive. The Uncle was just saying on the news that probably they were radicalized by someone local, and that he did not believe that they were working alone. That they were just executors in a plan thought up by another person, or group.
Being a stranger watching it on TV, I would think the same thing. And if it it's not true, you still need to investigate the possibility right?
Then there was the aunt that said they were framed. I don't think so. But I can see why she does. I had complete faith in my government and all the police officers the entire time, but that scene from Fahrenheit 451 kept popping into my mind, where they are chasing down Montague and eventually kill some other guy just to have an ending for everyone watching on TV. I do believe these guys are the guys, and the reason why we don't have real footage of everything that happened makes sense, but I can totally see how the aunt and the father is skeptical.
I'm 90% sure what I'm seeing on TV is honestly the closest thing to the truth they have.
That being said, it is still unbelievable even if it is true. Does anyone else see themselves in these perpetrators. I kept thinking about the Uncles words. About them being losers. I laughed out loud the first time I heard him say it so angrily. But last night I kept thinking. Wasn't I quiet in highschool? Didn't I have trouble settling into Groton, the prep school I attended? I didn't hate people that succeeded.. I don't think. I tried not to hate anyone, which was difficult and I definitely disliked some people. But nonetheless, I could see myself being classified as a loser. I know others threw me into this category, in highschool, in college, and afterwards. Someone not useful, Someone who wasn't going to make it or be successful. Now for some reason, people would probably classify me as more of a winner, because I live in a house and have two kids. But to myself, I have no job and none of my success has anything to do with any effort put forth on my part. I didn't have my kids. Grace did. I didn't buy this house, Grace did. Now I don't think of myself as a loser. But I do want to accomplish something fr myself. I never had the hatred for citizens in a crowd the way these two brothers seemed to have. But had I been influenced by certain people could I have been radicalized like that? I guess I was a radical Kung Fu practitioner. Which meant that I did a lot of meditation and Kung Fu-ing and Lion Dance. If I had been influenced by a group that was less about that sort of mystical practice and more about hate and terror... but would I have been influenced by those people? I don't think so. But I can't say 100% that it is impossible. Or can't I? I cannot conceive blowing up children. People watching a marathon. Innocent civilians. But then it's not like these two guys invented killing civilians.
It took me a long time to think of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs as completely wrong. Even when I went to Hiroshima I didn't feel the same sorts of sadness and shame that other Americans seem to be writing down in the visitor books. Why? Maybe because even though I am American, I am also half Chinese and was glad to have blood that wasn't just a victim in that war. It wasn't until reading so many Barefoot Gen comics and hearing the story of people, victims, who had nothing to do with the Japanese government, but were the victims of the nuclear bombs that I saw that it wasn't about this country and that country. It was about victims and perpetrators. Killing Children is wrong, no matter who is doing it. Killing civilians is wrong, no matter who is doing it. These Marathon Bombers were wrong, no matter what their worldview that justified it in their minds. And yes, whatever drone strikes or other events that occurred that can be used as an excuse, where children also died, in greater numbers.. those things are also wrong. But they do not justify anything. So how do you stop this from happening? Stop it from happening here and over there?
I think a lot of people, not just me, have been looking at these perpetrators, at the family and finding it difficult to put what they did, with who they were. I wrote before that it would be difficult to look at the act and think that a human could do this. And yet looking at the perpetrators they were human, and very human looking, with other human activities. They didn't look like Ted Kaczynzki or Eric Rudolph, or Hannibal Lecter.
I was talking with someone else, an older woman from Brazil and she mentioned how sad it all was, even how sad it was that the older brother died. I kind of paused because I did not feel sad about that at all. I only felt disappointed because obviously it would be better if they were both brought in alive. The Uncle was just saying on the news that probably they were radicalized by someone local, and that he did not believe that they were working alone. That they were just executors in a plan thought up by another person, or group.
Being a stranger watching it on TV, I would think the same thing. And if it it's not true, you still need to investigate the possibility right?
Then there was the aunt that said they were framed. I don't think so. But I can see why she does. I had complete faith in my government and all the police officers the entire time, but that scene from Fahrenheit 451 kept popping into my mind, where they are chasing down Montague and eventually kill some other guy just to have an ending for everyone watching on TV. I do believe these guys are the guys, and the reason why we don't have real footage of everything that happened makes sense, but I can totally see how the aunt and the father is skeptical.
I'm 90% sure what I'm seeing on TV is honestly the closest thing to the truth they have.
That being said, it is still unbelievable even if it is true. Does anyone else see themselves in these perpetrators. I kept thinking about the Uncles words. About them being losers. I laughed out loud the first time I heard him say it so angrily. But last night I kept thinking. Wasn't I quiet in highschool? Didn't I have trouble settling into Groton, the prep school I attended? I didn't hate people that succeeded.. I don't think. I tried not to hate anyone, which was difficult and I definitely disliked some people. But nonetheless, I could see myself being classified as a loser. I know others threw me into this category, in highschool, in college, and afterwards. Someone not useful, Someone who wasn't going to make it or be successful. Now for some reason, people would probably classify me as more of a winner, because I live in a house and have two kids. But to myself, I have no job and none of my success has anything to do with any effort put forth on my part. I didn't have my kids. Grace did. I didn't buy this house, Grace did. Now I don't think of myself as a loser. But I do want to accomplish something fr myself. I never had the hatred for citizens in a crowd the way these two brothers seemed to have. But had I been influenced by certain people could I have been radicalized like that? I guess I was a radical Kung Fu practitioner. Which meant that I did a lot of meditation and Kung Fu-ing and Lion Dance. If I had been influenced by a group that was less about that sort of mystical practice and more about hate and terror... but would I have been influenced by those people? I don't think so. But I can't say 100% that it is impossible. Or can't I? I cannot conceive blowing up children. People watching a marathon. Innocent civilians. But then it's not like these two guys invented killing civilians.
It took me a long time to think of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs as completely wrong. Even when I went to Hiroshima I didn't feel the same sorts of sadness and shame that other Americans seem to be writing down in the visitor books. Why? Maybe because even though I am American, I am also half Chinese and was glad to have blood that wasn't just a victim in that war. It wasn't until reading so many Barefoot Gen comics and hearing the story of people, victims, who had nothing to do with the Japanese government, but were the victims of the nuclear bombs that I saw that it wasn't about this country and that country. It was about victims and perpetrators. Killing Children is wrong, no matter who is doing it. Killing civilians is wrong, no matter who is doing it. These Marathon Bombers were wrong, no matter what their worldview that justified it in their minds. And yes, whatever drone strikes or other events that occurred that can be used as an excuse, where children also died, in greater numbers.. those things are also wrong. But they do not justify anything. So how do you stop this from happening? Stop it from happening here and over there?
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thieves on the T
Yesterday as I got off at Stonybrook, Noah, causing a ruckus, unstrapped and trying to crawl all over Jonah while I slowly pushed the stroller along, holding him and trying to get him to sit down, I saw a kid in red pants (kid as in teens or twenties) acting weird. Moving around a lot. At first I thought he was flashing someone else. Then he suddenly tried to hide behind one of the signs, like the pole. This was very cartoonish because it doesn't cover your whole body. Slowly I pushed passed him and then saw a woman and a man walking towards me. The man said to the woman, "Someone stole your phone and they ran down here? Okay I see him, it's a kid."
At this point I am past the kid, mr. red pamts, and am putting it together that he stole the phone and is not pretending to hide, but actually trying to hide... behind a pole. The woman flips out, "You have to fight him and get it back."
"No, no Miss" the man tried to get in front of her, "Listen we'll stop the train and they'll call the police-"
"No, don't you understand! He stole my phone, we have to get it back, he stole my phone not yours-"
"Miss it's not worth fighting over," said the man as he tried to stop her and she tried to push past him basically risking her life and his to do so because she almost went onto the tracks. I pushed my stroller and two kids away from the people moving around. The train was coming and the man signaled to the train by waving his arms.
The plan the man had sounded good, but I wouldn't say the situation was "under control" mainly because the woman, the victim, was very adrenalized and forcing up a physical confrontation with Mr. Red Pants. Maybe he had no knife or anything, but there were several things that could go badly still.
I went over to the Emergency call box and said," Some guy stole this woman's phone."
"Are you on the Stonybrook platform?"
"Yes."
"Okay we'll send some help."
The train stopped and didn't open it's doors. I couldn't see what was happening but there was shouting. Noah was jumping up and down pushing the elevator buttons. All the action happened down the platform out of my sight. Eventually a train coming the other direction came and the train that was already there opened it's doors and let people out. Crap! Did the man's plan work? Or was Mr. Red Pants going to get on the train?
"I called TCP(?)" said the announcer from the train, "There are three police officers on their way......Wave your hands to acknowledge." I'm guessing that was to the man and that they had Mr. Red Pants. I could leave... but then another woman came over to the elevator. (Oh btw another guy with his stroller got off the elvator and went over to the situation with his kid, even though I told him something was going down. His choice) The woman pushed the emergency call button. This actually just shut it off, because I had just finished my call.
"Did you call to say that people are fighting?" she asked. I just said yes. I also overheard another group talking saying, "She needs to calm down.. there are too many people around.."
Now I would like to say that the victim the good samaritan and Mr. Red Pants were all various shades of dark. Maybe black, maybe hispanic.
The woman at the call box and the crowd I overheard were white.
I figured I should stay until the police came just to make sure the situation was not "people are fighting" and was, "A guy in red pants stole a woman's phone."
I say the police come.. finally. It felt like a while although the response time might have been considered fast. They walk down putting on sunglasses and preparing their game faces. They can't be everywhere at once, and as fast as they came, the whole incident seemed slow, and a bit absurd. I told them what I saw, and other said overhearing me, "They got him sitting on the floor.." Yep! he's a punk! he said, ' I been to jail before won't be my first time.'" since Mr. Red Pants seemed to be both under control and readily admitting his guilt I just took off. I just didn't want the Good Samaritan to have to explain himself to police.
Noah continued jumping around and messing with Jonah the entire time. We went to the playground and eventually I saw a Transit Police van come up, the kind capable of transporting someone in the back, and drive off. Anyway, I've been thinking about the various odd things that happened in that situation. In a way the woman was right to bring it to a fight, because otherwise she might not have gotten her phone back. It did take a while for police to get there, It took the other man and maybe others making Mr. Red pants sit down either through tackling or who knows for him to be apprehended. The police were competent, but they simple cannot be there faster. If they had already been there, Mr. Red Pants would have just not taken a phone then.
On the other hand if the woman had been stabbed or pushed onto the tracks or the Good Samaritan man been stabbed or something, well that would have been extremely stupid over a phone.
Even though I had my kids were with me I tried to do what I could, mainly because if someone tries to rob me on the T when I have my kids with me, I will definitely have to rely on others for help in some shape or form. I also thought how differently the situation was viewed by different people. Some saw an exciting story where the woman was quick and got her phone back from the punk. (These were black witnesses.)
Some saw some black people fighting, one of them being a crazy woman. (These were white witnesses)
I saw a good samaritan solve a problem with his mind, like chess, a teen/twenty something guy try to hide behind a pole when trapped at on a platform... I don't know the whole thing was weird but educational too I guess.
At this point I am past the kid, mr. red pamts, and am putting it together that he stole the phone and is not pretending to hide, but actually trying to hide... behind a pole. The woman flips out, "You have to fight him and get it back."
"No, no Miss" the man tried to get in front of her, "Listen we'll stop the train and they'll call the police-"
"No, don't you understand! He stole my phone, we have to get it back, he stole my phone not yours-"
"Miss it's not worth fighting over," said the man as he tried to stop her and she tried to push past him basically risking her life and his to do so because she almost went onto the tracks. I pushed my stroller and two kids away from the people moving around. The train was coming and the man signaled to the train by waving his arms.
The plan the man had sounded good, but I wouldn't say the situation was "under control" mainly because the woman, the victim, was very adrenalized and forcing up a physical confrontation with Mr. Red Pants. Maybe he had no knife or anything, but there were several things that could go badly still.
I went over to the Emergency call box and said," Some guy stole this woman's phone."
"Are you on the Stonybrook platform?"
"Yes."
"Okay we'll send some help."
The train stopped and didn't open it's doors. I couldn't see what was happening but there was shouting. Noah was jumping up and down pushing the elevator buttons. All the action happened down the platform out of my sight. Eventually a train coming the other direction came and the train that was already there opened it's doors and let people out. Crap! Did the man's plan work? Or was Mr. Red Pants going to get on the train?
"I called TCP(?)" said the announcer from the train, "There are three police officers on their way......Wave your hands to acknowledge." I'm guessing that was to the man and that they had Mr. Red Pants. I could leave... but then another woman came over to the elevator. (Oh btw another guy with his stroller got off the elvator and went over to the situation with his kid, even though I told him something was going down. His choice) The woman pushed the emergency call button. This actually just shut it off, because I had just finished my call.
"Did you call to say that people are fighting?" she asked. I just said yes. I also overheard another group talking saying, "She needs to calm down.. there are too many people around.."
Now I would like to say that the victim the good samaritan and Mr. Red Pants were all various shades of dark. Maybe black, maybe hispanic.
The woman at the call box and the crowd I overheard were white.
I figured I should stay until the police came just to make sure the situation was not "people are fighting" and was, "A guy in red pants stole a woman's phone."
I say the police come.. finally. It felt like a while although the response time might have been considered fast. They walk down putting on sunglasses and preparing their game faces. They can't be everywhere at once, and as fast as they came, the whole incident seemed slow, and a bit absurd. I told them what I saw, and other said overhearing me, "They got him sitting on the floor.." Yep! he's a punk! he said, ' I been to jail before won't be my first time.'" since Mr. Red Pants seemed to be both under control and readily admitting his guilt I just took off. I just didn't want the Good Samaritan to have to explain himself to police.
Noah continued jumping around and messing with Jonah the entire time. We went to the playground and eventually I saw a Transit Police van come up, the kind capable of transporting someone in the back, and drive off. Anyway, I've been thinking about the various odd things that happened in that situation. In a way the woman was right to bring it to a fight, because otherwise she might not have gotten her phone back. It did take a while for police to get there, It took the other man and maybe others making Mr. Red pants sit down either through tackling or who knows for him to be apprehended. The police were competent, but they simple cannot be there faster. If they had already been there, Mr. Red Pants would have just not taken a phone then.
On the other hand if the woman had been stabbed or pushed onto the tracks or the Good Samaritan man been stabbed or something, well that would have been extremely stupid over a phone.
Even though I had my kids were with me I tried to do what I could, mainly because if someone tries to rob me on the T when I have my kids with me, I will definitely have to rely on others for help in some shape or form. I also thought how differently the situation was viewed by different people. Some saw an exciting story where the woman was quick and got her phone back from the punk. (These were black witnesses.)
Some saw some black people fighting, one of them being a crazy woman. (These were white witnesses)
I saw a good samaritan solve a problem with his mind, like chess, a teen/twenty something guy try to hide behind a pole when trapped at on a platform... I don't know the whole thing was weird but educational too I guess.
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