Kung Fu and Love

Kung Fu and Love
A great gift for Valentine's day or Chinese New Year

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Chapter one: The Dragon Phoenix School of Magic and Healing Arts.

It was an ordinary enough looking house on the top of the hill. Unlike other houses in the area it had a winding walkibg path out front. A tunnelled maze with grape vines providing a roof and apple trees tied and carefully  trained together on wire for a wall. It was alk strangely meticulous as nibidy had ever been seen to actually trim ir tend to this feat of garden mastery.

There was a place for cars to pull up and drop off children who would scurry through the magical tunnels up to the doorway into the house. You see inside the house was an afterschool program with 18 students. Never more than 18 and never less.

It wasnt always 9 boys and 9 girls, and they were usually of different ages, colors sizes and shapes.

Why were they there?

Inside the house was the Dragon Phoenix School of Magic and Healing Arts run by this Old Xiong, a wiry old man who ran around jumping up and down outside with the kids brandishing all manner of cardboard weaponry.

It had started with his two sons... and when they had grown too old for that nonsense he had opened this afterschool of sorts. They 18 children ran up and down the hill, dressed as pirates. The old man taught them moves and breathing techniques which the children mostly ignored. They did their homework and were fed. They played videogames and learned to play the lion drum and do the dragon dance. They played chess and go and jerng kei. They did research on the in ternet and coded. In the mornings they went to the local Public school, which was annoyed and somewhat suspicious of 18 children in one household. You see, some of these 18 were rich kids whose parents  had hired the crazy old man as a sort of mentor. Some of these parents had been taught by the old man themselves. Some of the students were poor and the parents could have cared less about the old man's teachings. They wanted their kids in the towns excellent school system.

The old man's wife was the one who made the money. And though some say she was older,  she had somehow preserved her youth. Some say with the old man's magic. Some say with magic of her own.

And others say there had been inheritance, or that in youth the old man had made a fortune illegally, or had struck it rich discovering Jade in Xinjiang. Or that his healing techniques were world renowned and peoole called for Psychic readings from all over the world... and that was how he made his real money.

In any case, the 18 students thing, seemed to be more about fun and less about an advertised school. It was probably unlicensed. But it was orderly and quiet enough, even with drum playing, which took place in the basement in a room filled with books on each wall, absorbing the sound.

In other words the neighbors did not complain... if they even really knew that there was an afterschool. Parents did not pick up the kids every day. It was actually somewhat sporadic.

And students usually stayed for a year or two. It was usually a transition period in their life. They had gotten too difficult for their parents. Or their parents bhad fallen on hard times and left their kids there until they could get their lives together. And almost always, they came out of it within 2-5 years, renewed and ready to take on the world. Not just parents, but the children or teens.

The old man, didn't try to keep them. He encouraged them to leave, to go out and conquer or start business, or what have you.

They didn't call him teacher or master. They just called him Old Xiong.

One day peoole started talking about this lake that was in a park nearby the house. You see, the neigbors were saying there were strange things going on near it. People are more superstitious than you would think. They were saying the lake was haunted or possessed by snake demons...that sort of thing.

"You would think Old Xiong would be all over that. Isn't that what he does? Exorcisms and all?" Neighbors joked.

The three sisters in their 90's who lived together across the street asked him about it point blank.

"Actually what I do is run up and down hills with children while carrying sticks, make them play Chinese chess with boards made of wood and stones and bottle caps, and watch tv with snacks... and meals too I guess. But yeah sure on the weekend we'll take a trip down to the lake."

Word got around and people watched the house waiting for something to happen. Old Xiong now knew that people were watching, so he made a big show of it when he finally di go down to the lake with the 18. They brought out lions and dragons and drums and he dressed up as a firebird, like the western phoenix with twin flaming swordss for wings. These he doused quickly in the lake before the fire department ciukd see, and inisted they had been an illusion. Nothing but cardboard with light orange colored cloth and led lights.

Then he brought out the Kwai fa boh deen
Scrolls and started chanting in Hokien (or so he claimed) the ancient eunuchs text for pik che geem faht, the sword form which could chase away evil.

He had a female student perform it with a sword made of reinforced paper mache... which also went up in flames and into the lake.

The water actually caught fire briefly and lo and behold, some bastards were dumping there that shouldn't have been. So that was the scientific explanation for  the lake being haunted!

Yeah some people still weren't so sure, but Old Xiong had still put on a show. Some people said he was fake as faries with his magic and healing arts.

But actually Old Xiong had never claimed otherwise. When asked where he learned his Martial Arts he would say, "Movies and Youtube."

He was just having fun with it. And actually that often annoyed people. But there was no question, when you saw him perform even half of a move that he knew what he was doing. In fact that he was a mastet from a long line of masters.

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