Halloween

I used to be all excited to try and do everything with the kids on Hallowee. I catually pulled them out of BCNC early with delusions of trick treating in JP and on Beacon Hill.
Then it was Dunster Road and the Library parade.

But this year less was more.

We went to the Connolly branch library, which had a band, fruit, chips, empanadas and other food as well if you were willing to wait in line. You could decorate a real pumpkin and get your face painted.

We did want to wait in line so we just had fruits and some snacks while listening to the band and then ducked out before it became too crowded and waited for the parade to start.

We didn't hit every store on the route because why collect candy you can't finish anyway?

We just walked along with friends dancing to the band. It was a lot like lion dance.

"How did it become Candy? What's the story of Halloween?" Noah asked me. I explained Samhain. The Celtic Holiday where the door to the other world was opened and spirits mixed with our world, some malevolent some good. You dress up so that the malevolent ones don't bother you.  

Bread and water was left out for friends and family visiting.

There was also supposedly some dance with a sheep's head, but whether that was actually Samhain or Beltane is unclear as far as I can tell and I'm no scholar.


The parade ended at Hyde Square Task force where there was music blasting from speakers powered by children turning bicycle gears and all sorts of games... none fo which we played really except to hang out.

Eventually we headed home hitting some stores and houses on the way,
The dentist office handed out toothbrushes, and Food Wall handed out Durian Candy and Fortune Cookies.

I love it.

In fact if everyone passed out something more specific to their business that would be awesome as far as I'm concerned.

The kids had a little candy, And by a little I mean way too much but less then 10% of what they collected.

 I passed out some candy. (Or pretzels rather.)

And we ate dinner.

Now we are chilling at home and the chips pretzels and extra candy is sitting outside for children.

Good enough. Way good enough. Did I get old?

I don't know, I just feel like walking for long periods of time and stressing yourself out is not all its cracked up to be.

But then... maybe when they are older  we will do more.

The Party of the mind at FFTG

Last week I got to sit in during a radio show, FFTG or Flows from the Gutter.
I was impressed, first of all, by Papa Mingo and Miss Marcie's skill at keeping the conversation going.
But from a Buddhist philosphy perspective I learned something. When you hear a party on the radio, or when you see a music video you have an idea of a wild time. There is that "Party" or that "Happening place"
that kind of only exists in the mind and is shown to you in the movies. I had this experience once before when we did a lion dance at the airport and there was professional lighting and red carpets out. I realized that when this was filmed it would look like a Lion Dance in Zeus's halls.
And in the end, the Halls of kings of the past, were not as great even as some of the office buildings that are kind of Blah today.

So that is the illusion, way of looking at it. The cynical feeling that there is no real party.

However, there is another way of looking at it, and that is that the party does indeed exist.
But that it exists in your mind and it is the power of the person that creates that creates that party, that super positive state of mind, through skill and a state of being. THAT is what I learned from the show but also from the guests, Chazz Shabazz promoting a new album(spelling) and the CEO Billionaire Dreams (Again spelling... I apologize for my ignorance.)

I want to point out again that I am writing this as someone who knows NOTHING about HIP HOP. I might as well be some old guy who is walking by the young people listening to rap or whatever. I usually listen to Irish Music and Chinese Music and then random world music. (The Lyrics for some of that folk music though is remarkably similar to many Hip Hop narratives)

It was people being interviewed around a table but the energy of the room made it the hottest party there is. Better than any Hollywood thing I could imagine. Some club packed with people is for the masses, but this was the place where the immortals gather, at least the local ones. Not to put down what you hear in the mainstream, but I prefer the local flavor. Now if anyone of them make it huge then that doesn't make them less per se, but just because they haven't made it huge, also does not make them less than what you hear on the radio.

So they talk and the energy is high and then they put on some tracks. Now this was the "Aha!" or "Ommm" moment for me, because the tracks were not played for everyone in the room, just those with the headphones on. So watching, I saw people bobbing their heads making the typical hand gestures, Chazz Shabazz going through his own lyrics, his art, as he listened. But I was watching all of this in silence.

This is why I felt that Buddhist comparison.

The Buddha never had to be in a Temple  or on a mountain top to be the Buddha. In fact the Bodhi tree was kind of on the side of the road somewhere, and the side of the road is also where one goes to relieve oneself or dumps a body or garbage.

But in that place, Buddha was still Buddha.

This room was much nicer than the side of the road, but what I saw was, these artists were great and this art and the party was the happening place, not because of the physical location of the radio show or what people were wearing or the chairs they were sitting in. Their Spirit made it it the place by pure energy and THOUGHT.

It was eye opening to say the least and I knew I had to write about it. It just felt weird trying to write about Hip Hop, something which I know very little about, but trying to convey what I experienced... frankly without having even heard the music yet. It makes me want to start going to all these concerts and buying the albums and supporting the local Boston artists, because I feel that even people who don't listen to hip hop, should take a chance and broaden their perspective, especially if it means supporting people from THEIR community, from THEIR City.

I hope to get more involved with this in the future.

Wu Tao Fortune Rap of the day

Two cups drop out before asking a question
It's already there without even learning a lesson
Sometimes things were just meant to be there
Whether it's right or wrong far or unfair

Rash warriors fighting for ideals
Don't make no sense
Just going how they feel

Wanting to create a situation of a stand off
Three swords piercing the heart
Limbs are cut off

Lo paus like the clothes
Brothers are like limbs
Clothes can be sewed
Sewn Bones is still broken.

One child can help
with the emtional imagination
One Child can hurt
working with occupation

All of it will end up
being mad foolish.
The Fool is next to the king
and has real power to do this.

Looking at Hip Hop through Kung Fu and Stoic Philosophy

I want to start by saying that I am not a rap fan per se. When I say that I mean I ma not your typical white or Chinese kids that bought album after album of rap music. What did I listen to? Soundtracks, Disney and others. Braveheart etc. Who did i try to emulate? Well let's put it like this, I might be Half Chinese but for all intents and purposes I was a white kid that grew up in the projects. Everyone else was Chinese, Black or Hispanic, and let's not pretend like everyone got along. You could say that we used all of our whiteness to survive. IE befriending police. Do you see what I'm saying.

Even for say, our black South African Neighbor, the guys in the video above were the faces of the enemy. For our neighbor this was further complicated because the Police also saw him as a danger. When we moved to another part of the projects drug dealers moved in. Our South African neighbor, who always, because of life experience, tended to stay out of everything. But he ended up helping the Police in a sting.. which is crazy. 

And then, another thing is that this is West Coast stuff. But friends listened to it. It's not like the music was foreign to me. But I didn't buy it. It was just there. The way Power rangers and Pokemon are there for my kids even though we've never watched it. 

So I heard this song exactly ONCE all the way through before I decided to write about it today. 

Who did I try to emulate as a kid? Well I watched this show called "Campion" on PBS as Hercule Poirot. And I guess the closest thing to gangsta-ness was Sharpe's Eagle. I had forgotten major characters to Kung Fu movies that my Dad had watched. I was emulating white characters and tried to move toward that. White people of the past that were in books. 

But when I got into a prep school, all these white kids researched and followed rap and hip hop. I'm not even going to pretend to have all the genres right like I understand.

The reason why I wrote this is to talk about the philosophy in here. And I think this song should be re-written for our generation. Especially with all the stuff happening with Black lives matter. Because there is something positive in what he is saying here, except that it is some what deviant... but that deviance comes more from society and less from the philosophy itself. 

Basically the "Gangsta" and really what you have to realize is that word is interchangeable with Warrior and Kung Fu practitioner. The thing we have forgotten just how depraved Achilles was. We talk about how people need to stop the violence but Politicians are pretty much required to study and to some degree worship Greeks who got into freaking boats and paddled for years just to go be Gangsta as well with Trojans. And don't forget that the Kung Fu past has all kinds of cults and movements in it that are brutal. 

So anyway, the warrior poet is focused on a goal. In this case the goal is sex with certain women. They act itself, or the gate of life that he is changing. Now when it is seen in modern philosophy this is seen as trashy or abusive. But in the ancient world?

Anyway, that is his goal which tends to be what the Shaolin Monk tries to avoid. But going back to hunter gatherer times when there was less people, I mean if we are tigers and lions, this is the goal because it is the continuation of the species or the tribe. 

But the warrior poet does avoid the "cheap tricks" so it isn't too clear why the one is the goal but the other is to avoided. 

But here is where Stoicism and Buddhism would actually come in. 

They are robbed and they get into street battles. But they do not let these circumstances or obstacles get to them. They deal with these issues and then return to the goal. Which again, in the modern world seems kind of low. 

But remember this has to sell. 

But watching this now, who would be riding and who would be pulling them over? What with all the black lives matter stuff. And what would be the goal? But that spirit of stoicism, like you were just belittled and perhaps even your friend or family killed while being pulled over, but then you get right back up and continue with your original goal..(again what is the goal? A degree? A house? A political position? I don't have an answer.)  That is why I think this song should be re-written for the modern era and with these things in mind.)

For Buddhism, I guess the idea is you fight, but then you let these experiences pass and change and don't let them bother you. 

There are other examples obviously. And I am starting to look more into today's local Hip Hop. For various reasons. Again I have a lot to learn, but there is something in these songs that I see as powerful, and not just because of the beat, or the sales of records. 

I'm not advocating the above lifestyle. Though I do like to point out that we tend to hold up similarly brutal and merciless heroes. Our Founding fathers owned slaves and fought some brutal wars. I doubt they would be shocked by the events in this pretend story.

Also, the popularity of these songs and re-engage a younger generation in a more positive way that isn't just BS.

Of course there are NEW songs that are incredible. Which I need to listen to and why don't I write about THEM and those artists. I will okay! I just need to educate myself. This first post is just to introduce myself as someone who is now going to listen to a ton of Hip Hop, but to explain that although I have heard the older songs, it was not so much by choice. 

In other words I'm not your typical fan.

Kung Fu Stoic Week

 A friend of mine wrote this post on his blog about Stoic Week. I vaguely know what it is, but only from reading his blog. I always tell myself I will look into it, but actually.. Joe Callahan why don't you break it down for us Lay people who aren't going to bother to Wikipedia it.

I know you probably wrote an old article about it, but how about one more time just for kicks.

Anyway, with regards to my practice, this sounds like a god idea. A week where I do exercises and maybe my students do exercises that we are supposed to do all the time anyway.

I guess that's my real question. What are the specific exercises.


I realize that for a martial artist, I am extremely chaotic and undisciplined. Not lazy. I practice every day. But the way I get it in is nuts.

I was talking to another Sifu, Mai Du, whose Warrior Spirit event is coming up soon in Malden. She mentioned that she meditates every day at a specific time.

This is something I do not do. I mean I go in and out of meditating every day etc. But the fact that she has a specific time that is a meditation time. I'm not saying this is better for her Kung Fu then what I do (though it may very well be better) But it is definitely apparent in other aspects of life.

For instance she has a successful school. I don't. But she started her own school in a similar situation as me, while taking care of kids at home. She still has a full time job, and is able to achieve all of these things.

I know because more than a decade ago a co worker was studying with her and mentioned the Malden School. I was teaching at Kwong Kow at that time.

Discipline may or may not be a factor in my Kung Fu. I think I'm all right in terms of Kung Fu itself. Of course I could be better.

But where I really see a problem is in having a school.

If I was more Stoic and disciplined about doing something every day in a rational manner I may have achieved something greater by now, instead of continuing to run around chasing a few students. Or maybe my books would have sold better. Or maybe my Blogs would be making money. I'm not sure. But I do see value in putting aside time to do exrecises. In Kung Fu, stoicism, writing, or working on your career.

Tai Chi Monsters

I was at the playground with the kid and I really wanted to do internal mein lei jum forms. (simiilar to Tai Chi. But the kids wanted to play "monsters."  And so I became the "Tai Chi Monster" that is to say, I did Tai chi at them and chased them... really slowly. Which of cousre means they always got away and loved it, and also I had to adapt my technique to the surroundings of the playground.

Sometimes I did lion dance moves but mostly they wanted Tai Chi monster.

These weekend I also made some creatures and I thought about how the Spear Dragon I made, a dragon head where the head is in the position that a spear would be, as well as the Dragon head that is on top of the stick like an ax, the way most dragons are, would be great for this game.

I mean basically you could do all these moves as a play dance. The problem is when you let kids do this by themselves they tend to just start hitting each other with the heads, which not only can hurt the other child, but will leave your paper mache in pieces.

I knew you could do this in a hard external way and also of course you could do it in an internal way. But really that is a whole art right there. Not saying you don't need Tai Chi forms or Kung Fu forms, but you could totally have a practice where the focus is just on these dance aspects and running around a playground.

Can't wait to make my eagle Creature, because that one will definitely focus on the White Crane like movements, chuen pow cup, in dance form.


Wu Tao Fortune Cookie freestyle of the day:

You have you own Kingdom
So close you can see it
You started building foundation
So close you can be it

But look at you wanting to wander
like a Ronin
Fiefdom to fiefdom
Causing mad trouble like Odin

You need to go down to the
pool of Mimir
Or Lao Tzu by himself
Taoist hermit with refer

Fighting's all bad for you
So is separation
Do some meditation
or you be paying reparation

You heading to illusion
The ocean at night
With under towing currents
Too strong for you to fight.

Wu Tao Advice

I'm going to start doing a daily Tarot reading. Wu Tao is how you say Taro (like the Potato in Chinese)

For fun I was thinking I would try to make it into a rap. Although I am not good at this, I figure if I do it everyday I will get better.

If you w ant me to do a Tarot reading for you, write in with your question:

Guidance:

You an entrepreneur
Frontin like a cop
Judgment on your side
Abandonment is not.

Blast from the past
your child hood
Memories

That be the
Ultimate outcome
Inevitably

Joyful eyes of fighting

I was teaching a married couple a secret Kung Fu fighting form. It is so secret and deadly that it can only be practiced at night behind closed doors. It can be performed anywhere, but the essence that is past down and which makes it powerful are trade secrets. In any case, being excited I suppose I was rather loud and their child woke up and decided to come downstairs to sit on the couch and watch. The little girl, who is a Ninja Turtles fan, watched as her normal everyday parents suddenly became magical Kung Fu warriors spinning around with weapons.

"Mommy and Daddy aren't really fighting honey, we are just pretending so neither of us are going to get hurt." said the mother when I mentioned the little girl's eyes widening after a sequence.

But they did not widen in fear.

They had widened in admiration as she saw her mother HAIII! and the clash of weapons and spinning n the living room created an atmosphere which enlivened the home more than any Kung Fu movie (especially the ones nowadays) were capable of doing.

The power (and danger) of Bruce Lee

I came up with a great way to entertain the kids in my class. I have a Bruce Lee routine that I teach them. There is a form that I do which is four basic moves with Bruce Lee stuff in between. But I also broke down the front and side kicks Bruce Lee style. It's great because instead of doing say, 20 kicks, I only do like three. First two are slow and the last one is a fast "Waaatahhh!!!!!"

It's mostly posing.

But I didn't notice the kids just couldn't stop. So I made a rule that there would bne no Lei siu long or watahhh if they didn't show me that they could stop and do breathing meditation and control their bodies.


But Lo and behold today I actually got a talking to. Turns out the parents have been complaining ever since I started the Bruce Lee sequences that their children have self radicalized into Bruce Lee monsters at home, watahhh-ing all over the house.

I am told from now on only to teach the Kung Fu as an exercise and no more li xiao long.


It is kind of funny because the Bruce Lee section is mostly poses where as say in the wheels on the Bus sequence we actually do eye gouges, throat strikes, groin grabs and what not. So in a way, it's the spirit and the feeling that is far more dangerous than moves themselves. I guess that was always true about Kung Fu. No sequence of moves can take over a country, but getting people frothing at the mouth and working together totally can.

Well, sorry Bruce Lee, gonna have to put you to the side again.

Apple Picking.... oops none left

We went apple picking but all the Apples were pciked already. So we just bought them from this farm stand. 

But at least we have some fall Pics right?

The morning workout

I see people running around the pond except for old ladies and then me. I walk. I go to a nice part of the beach (because the pond is so dry) and do my Mein Lei Jum Tai Chinj like moves and run through my forms.

It was after talking to a friend about how he had felt some really great results after starting Tai Chi that I have decided to start doing this more regularly. I even do my external forms slow and measured and not even a whole lot of tense power into it.

At some point I take a break and my mind wanders and my imagination flies.

I used to think of these flights of fancy as problems, lack of focus. But now I realize I am actually working out some problems in my mind. If anything the early morning exercise is more mental than physical.

Perhaps the movements do not even prepare my body for what an actual fight would entail.

I mean strikes and flexibility yes. But more than that, my body will be able to perform the forms if for some reason, randomly, I am called onto a stage to perform in front of people. For me, this happens more often then you would think.

I think about some Jiu Jitsu videos I watched with Noah and the chokes. I realize that to choke someone out (and then let them revive) is much more safe in terms of the law... but then if a knife is pulled during this encounter...much more dangerous. In the end it's not only good to know both ways to handle the situation... but a variety of other strategies to deal with it, many which do not involve martial arts at all.

But still the early morning Kung Fu is good for you.

The Placebo effect was featured on last Sunday's This Sunday Morning.

So even taking a pill when you know it is fake medicine can help you.

So the same should be true of an exercise that increases blood flow and is stretches and strengthens your limbs.

The elderly Tai Chi and Kung Fu routine is good for the body and soul.

I'm going to start doing it more often. And not worry about getting in hard practice as much.

Child's play: A Kung Fu class with Adriana Li

After the Double Ten Parade Noah and I went to the park with Adriana. Technically, this was Noah teaching Adriana some spinny stick moves.

Together, they decided to create a prep drill done with the hands. This is not something I showed Noah because he never needed it. He just picked up how to do the spinny stick move on his own from watching me. But not all student are the same. Right in front of me a new basic drill was born.  

You see... you can actually learn a lot from teaching. That is why I often have Noah teach classes. When you try to explain to a beginner how to do movements that already come as second nature to you, you will see the importance of self practice. 

Noah also showed Adriana a simple stick fighting game.

It's cool because it involves strikes, blocks, and jumps. 

But what I noticed more than anything is that Noah did Kung Fu with Adriana for a really long time. Usually when I am showing him something we will end up arguing. It shows me that to lead or be the leader in a situation, doesn;t necessarily mean you have to be the most knowledgeable about the art. Adriana was the adult, guiding the lesson. Noah was skilled person, the master, the Sifu, that actually knew the art. But he would not have been practicing on his own, if Adriana hadn't asked him to show her. So what ended up happening was that together they were able to practice Kung Fu. She learned... but he also learned or at least reviewed what he already knew, in a way that he would not do with me. This class that I witnessed was much better than my classes with him, because a) he had fun and b) he actually ran through quite a bit of material. The fact that Adriana is an expert at working with kids probably helped a great deal 

"Real" fights

I have been thinking, is it better to just get a bunch of people together doing Kung Fu that they watch in the movies? It's more confusing than a class. More chaotic than standing in lines. But are drills better? I think drills are better for getting a group to work together. It's like training an army. But for training individuals... what if you just watched You tube videos of Old Kung Fu movies... not even Kung Fu tutorials... but the movies or even Avatar episodes... and then do all that stuff on each other for hours... which kids will do.

Of course people will get hurt.


But people get hurt anyway. And believe it or not children will naturally pull punches. Most children anyway. And those that don't will usually get jumped... unless they are strong enough that they somehow end up as leader... that's how a tyrant is created.

But Since a lot of Kung Fu comes from watching animals. Let's go ahead and watch animals. They are pretty strong and they can be ruthless. Animals still know all about "real" fighting in a way that humans don't. Even humans in war. Because for animals... it is just life. They are still in the food chain. Just look at their life spans.

Anyway, do they get in lines? Geese around the pond fly in formation. So I guess that's the closest thing I can think of. But other than that, it's all play. Fun and games as it were... for training. There is no need to make it more "real."  Because real life is all around them.

Still waters

Falling blows upon my back
Blood eagle of the heart
My spirit is stolen right out of my lungs.

My hands they move my feet they step
What is this I see before me?

It is not a knife.

But the goddess of the East
my soul wrapped in forked tongue
framed in fanged teeth

The holy Nagas chanting sutras
in other realms fall in whispers on my chest.

Their voices are sad and forlorn
Singing a melody
like the Maiden plays on her dulcimer

A vision of beauty
with the moon at her breast
she is calm on the lake this still night.

But rushing forward to slake my thirst I break through,
Washing my face in reality.

The water, sweet on my throat
and tinted with the essence of the flowers
that fall into the stream a ways away.
can never hold or repair her image.

But a flowing river is beautiful
and still water is stagnant.

My take on "Birth of a Dragon"

I had read Linda Lee's and Bruce Lee's account of the Bruce Lee vs. Wong Jack Man fight and I believe it because basically I had similar experiences. So when Grace got all excited and said "Have you seen this new movie they made about Bruce Lee?" and I was like, "The Chinese one?" which is not that new, kin dof old. Tony Leung Ka Fei plays his father. And I thought it was weird that Grace was saying this because I saw the thing with her.

"No the American one."

I saw the trailer, and being a white-ish guy that does Kung Fu, maybe you would be surprised that my first reaction was, "Who the hell is this white guy?"

Then when Isaw what they turned the fight into at first I was like "What the hell?"

But then I thought... didn't I do exactly the same type of thing in my novels? Who cares? If that's what they want to do they can do that.

But the thing is... I feel like Kung Fu Panda 3 did it better, that's all.

What the fight ends up being is an artistic representation of the push and pull between modern martial arts, and the buddhist zen/cha'an philosophy of Shaolin Temple. Not necessarily traditional Shaolin Kung Fu, but you now Modern Shaolin Temple with the orange outfits and the music.

I mean it is basically and argument between two modern versions of Kung Fu, the one that looks to the past as a golden age, and the one that looks to the future.

It's Self Help vs. Buddhism

Individual learning versus the Sifu.

Again... Kung Fu Panda 3 did this better.

I guess it's cool. I guess I should still watch it. The guy playing Bruce Lee has some cool lines and gestures.

It's not as good as Bruce Lee's actual movies (although those are problematic too. Looking back, Way of the Dragon is pretty racist against black people in that scene where Jazz starts playing.)

I also feel like Bruce Lee certainly has become a modern God and people follow all of his advice, much of which is Buddhist stories.... but I feel like they forget that he died young. So when you talk about being inspiration to push as hard as you can... I mean you want to know that right? That the guy who is talking about no limitations died? I think it's important before starting your exercise regimen based on that.

I guess I am a total outlier in my view on Kung Fu in that I don't necessarily fit Bruce Lee's or the Modern Shaolin philosophy into my training.

I do take Bruce Lee's moves as entertainment for the children. Not to say that I think Bruce was a joke. I like his poses. They actually work as simple Chi Gung moves and blend nicely with some of teh White Crane forms (There is oral history that says he learned some White Crane in Singapore and that a lot of his invented Kung Fu is based on that.)

I like his philosophy of the superman that just knocks you the hell out in a zen like Bam! similar to the Japanese sword strike. I feel like a lot of what he was, was in line with Musashi's ideas actually, even though in the movies Bruce fights Japanese villains.

My Kung Fu ideas though... I feel are based a lot more in mythology. Like real mythology, not people who some tales were told about/ But I look to spirits and gods of other cultures outside of China that forced their way in. The Tai Ping and Boxer Rebellions. Teh story of the Nian and the Lions and Dragons and the beating of drums. Of rousing movements to get normal farmers to believe they can fight or die trying.

Because you can talk about real street fights al you want. But history shows that the Brits or rather the East India Company... a private company with ships that had more canons on them then were on the ground at Waterloo... because you can do that with boats, shelled the hell out of Guangzhou. The Chinese had guns too, that some guys made on their own without any help of the government (useless government) but those guns didn't go as far, and hell, maybe they just exploded actually, and so the ships were basically invincible.

Kung Fu that.


I'm not saying Kung Fu is useless, but at that point it doesn't really matter whether you punched kicked or eye gouged right?

The role of Kung Fu was more about spirit. Fill a young boy with so much testosterone through an exercise that strengthens him... horse stance... and make him take pain in a way that strengthens him instead of cripples him and make him believe in himself and his country.

Get a group of farmers to do a complicated sequence of movements that CAN be used in hand to hand combat together for team building dynamics.

Then.. get the shelled like crazy, but resist and show some force.

The ships sailed north. It was the Qing dynasty that surrendered to save their own corrupt skin but the Brits never did land in the south.

Just because the power of Kung Fu is mostly in your head does not make it fake.

Man of the House

So apparently Jonah has stepped up in the parenting role. He has taken it upon himself to read to Noah (the older brother) at night and even marked off Noah's required reading, initialing the homework J.C. in the parent's initials section.

He also has been known to set out Noah's toothbrushes and get his socks. 

On the one hand, Noah should do this himself. 

On the other hand... what the hell do they need me for? I mean if it was legal I think Jonah could take Noah to school. I guess they need me for food. And then if they could find some sort of way to create income.. seriously that's it? That was a quick childhood.

I wonder if this is some sort of evolution. I mean Darwin's theory was actually pretty slow and I think the trend nowadays is towards Darwin blended with Lemark, and what I am going to suggest is way quicker than any of that and super unscientific... 

But I remember when my dad died when I was four, some guy (I don't even remember who he was, a doctor or something) was like, "Well now your the man of the house. You have to take care of your mother."

Could it be that my genes created a sperm that would produce a child that at around the age of five (well maybe even four because Dai dai has been taking care of Noah and Grace for a while now. Maybe a year.) that had genetic coding that would kick in to become the man of the house? He kills bugs for Grace, puts Noah to bed, and provides the dopamine reactions in Grace through snuggling that for the emotional glue of the family. Before he was campaigning for elder sibling. But why stop there? Shoot high to hit low. Why not just run for head of household?